[ When Ai makes her way from the room, she's impressed with herself that she manages not to run. She's definitely fleeing but she doesn't want to make it that much more obvious - and she doesn't quite trust her legs to carry her that fast, besides. She goes without glancing back, forces herself to keep her pace steady and it's only when she reaches the entrance before the bath that she shuts the door and lets herself slowly sink down to the floor and press her face into her hands.
It's fine. She can make everything go back to normal in the morning. She's only feeling like this because she's so shaken up - they call that the suspension bridge effect, right? Confusing fear and alarm for excitement and something else. She's had plenty of the former this evening, so it wouldn't be a surprise.
She's telling herself things like that over and over as she washes, scrubbing her hair until her scalp aches and doing the same to her skin in all the places she still sees blood until she's red and raw. She thinks she still smells blood, so she pours every offensively scented product she can find over her body, citrus and strawberries, summer flowers and winter fruits until even she knows the last dregs of the heavy, coppery smell are only in her imagination.
It's almost an hour later that she finally emerges, dressed for bed and her hair still just damp enough to cling to her neck. She knows the smart thing to do is go right to bed and greet the morning while pretending none of this had happened, but...
If this evening has proven anything, it's that Ai's not particularly good at doing the smart thing. So, still pale and shaky, she makes her way back to the living room. Just to make sure things have calmed down, she tells herself. ]
no subject
It's fine. She can make everything go back to normal in the morning. She's only feeling like this because she's so shaken up - they call that the suspension bridge effect, right? Confusing fear and alarm for excitement and something else. She's had plenty of the former this evening, so it wouldn't be a surprise.
She's telling herself things like that over and over as she washes, scrubbing her hair until her scalp aches and doing the same to her skin in all the places she still sees blood until she's red and raw. She thinks she still smells blood, so she pours every offensively scented product she can find over her body, citrus and strawberries, summer flowers and winter fruits until even she knows the last dregs of the heavy, coppery smell are only in her imagination.
It's almost an hour later that she finally emerges, dressed for bed and her hair still just damp enough to cling to her neck. She knows the smart thing to do is go right to bed and greet the morning while pretending none of this had happened, but...
If this evening has proven anything, it's that Ai's not particularly good at doing the smart thing. So, still pale and shaky, she makes her way back to the living room. Just to make sure things have calmed down, she tells herself. ]
Um... are you still here?