[ As if she's reading his mind or maybe just getting a premonition of an excruciatingly embarrassing future: ] Not on the way home. I'm not giving you the chance to show me off while I'm like this.

[ Because he absolutely, positively would. So she's not even giving him the opportunity!! ]

We're going straight home so I can take a bath and then go to bed. And you can go sleep on the roof or something.

[ A level beyond sleeping on the couch?! ]