[ she's been disgraced. marked, stained, defaced. she's the most beautiful woman he's ever met, a hundred times over. the scent of her hair, her flesh against his - how can he go back? ]
At least you know that much. Maybe you're smarter than you look.
[ idiot. idiot. who else could adore him, seeing him like this? little daggers, etching i love you with every word. he reaches down, forces his hand past the waistband of her leggings - strokes at her, shockingly delicate for such wicked claws. ]
No one wants a filthy idol. Nobody else will take you now. [ i'll be by your side as long as you'd have me. ] You know that, right?
[ Her breath hitches. He's touched her like this so many times before but never like this- not when she's this needy and warm and never when he's actually been looking at her. She'd felt how easily he could hurt her so that he's touching her so gently now, like she's something delicate and precious -
She makes a greedy little noise of approval and her hips lift into his touch. ]
I know. I've always known that.
[ That's why she lies. It's why she has to lie. But of course he understands that without her needing to say it. Maybe he has all along. ]
So it has to be you. If nobody else will, then it has to be you.
[ he shudders, overcome by arousalrevulsion, presses in just a bit more firmly - strokes small circles around her as he hisses into her ear. ]
Revolting. Disgusting. Die in a ditch. Carrion bugs like you make me sick. [ insects. family. we're two sides of a coin. ] You're lucky I'm willing to even look at you.
[ he reaches up, jerks at her hair - pulls her to look at him again before crushing his lips against hers. and the whole while, that gentle pace continues, stroking and circling and loving her. ]
[ Another of those high, needy noises rises out of her throat and she thinks — she's expected to believe all that when he's touching her this sweetly and this warmly? It doesn't make any sense at all. It makes perfect sense. Someone who's as much of a liar as she is could never talk about love and have it be true — and someone who's as much of a liar as he is could never talk about anything else and have it be true either. So if you can't speak words of love, what other choice do you have?
Her thighs pinch together again. Her whole body feels wound tight and warm and she can barely breathe. It's so good her head is spinning and the arms that'd been clinging onto his neck for purchase draw even tighter. ]
You're— the worst— [ She huffs that out as best she can between kisses, her voice ragged and uneven. ] Right here on the floor instead of taking me to bed— you couldn't wait...
[ He couldn't wait. He's so impatient to have her, they're doing this here. When has anyone ever wanted her like that? ]
[ it's incredible, how he keeps the same pace the whole while. even as ai's arms tighten around him. even as her tongue plays at his lips. even when she says that and he sees, understanding full well - the bed, not now but after, please, keep loving me-
the way his fingers stay gentle up until he tugs her leggings down - those wicked claws suddenly shredding through the same fabric he'd been so gentle with - it betrays something. the depths of his affection. the way he adores her. how much he loves her- ]
I told you already, didn't I? You mean nothing. This is just for my entertainment, by this point.
[ -even if he will never, ever be able to say it truthfully. ]
Well? Is this what you wanted?
[ because even now, even like this, he cannot possibly comprehend that being the truth. ]
[ Ah. They really are going to do things properly this time, then. No more half-hearted excuses for restraint and for leaving her a cold, quivering mess. She wonders just which of them he thinks he's fooling — if he thinks he's fooling either of them at all, at this point.
Liar. she thinks again. But she doesn't bother saying it. There's no point, when both of them know.
She eases herself back, flat onto the floor. Her hair's still damp, clinging to her bruised and bitten neck and the dark wood floor is cold under her bare skin. But she doesn't flinch. One hand curls back from around his neck and slowly, almost dreamily, she brushes the dark hair from his forehead. It suits him better like this, she thinks. ]
Yes. [ She smooths a lock of hair behind his ear. The tips of her fingers skim his jawline too — she's realizing now that she's never been permitted to touch him before and now she desperately wants to. ] I was wishing for it as hard as I could when I summoned you. Because it's true — I'm underhanded and dirty. As people go... I'm hopeless. The only thing I've ever known how to do is tell pretty lies that make people happy.
[ She's cradling his face now — one thumb smoothing over the crest of his cheek. He makes such ugly faces like he's trying to cover it up, but... from this close, his eyes are so, so lovely. ]
But you came to find me. You came to see me. And I've been wishing for that before I ever knew about the Grail. So... pleasetouchme.
[ she's touching him. looking into his eyes, stroking his cheek, and saying such wonderful horrible things. she's agreeing with every cruel word out of his liar's mouth, and she means it-
and he can't bring himself to stop. even now, staring down at her beneath him, trying to drink up as much of her body as he can with his gaze still locked on hers, he can't stop talking. ]
Haha. Ha. [ even now, as his human fingers fumble at his trousers, his verminous side betrays him; he runs the back of a claw along her cheek, unspeakably gentle despite the impending reality of what he intends to do. ] Deep down, you're just an ordinary girl. Just like any other.
[ the grandest, most unbelievable lie he's ever told. nobody could ever be like her. she is his queen, his beloved, his titania. he shoves cloth down and out of the way, lines up against her-
hesitates, even now. a blushing virgin to the very end. ]
[ An ordinary girl. Oh, wouldn't that be lovely? An ordinary girl like anybody else, who gets to love and live on her own terms, without needing anybody's permission, without hating herself to death for even wanting to try. But that's so far out of her reach, even she can't dream of it. She best she can hope for is to polish herself to such a brilliant mirror shine that the end result dazzles too much for anyone to get a close look. Too distant for anyone to try and touch.
But Oberon is here. Vortigern is here. He's looking at her and touching her in all the ways nobody is allowed to do. In the one way she's wanted somebody to for as long as she can remember. ]
I won't.
[ She says it with a smile — a wonky angle to her lips, like she's telling a joke she's unsure of. And instead of saying anything else — or letting him second guess her again — she tugs him down to meet her so she can kiss him again. She's done pretending to be patient. ]
[ her lips are at his, and her fingers are at his neck and through his hair, and in a single moment he is inside her.
it's different than he'd thought. warmer. wet, in a way that should remind him of the damp mud of the woods but feels instead like the sun burning him away. when he pauses, it's solely for his own sake - a moment to collect his thoughts, and nothing more. certainly no concern for the woman beneath him.
those cold blue eyes flare, blazing with adoration hatred. ]
Disgusting. Worthless. Don't you- [ -a sharp gasp, his head gently coming down to rest against hers- ] -don't you dare think you deserve my touch.
[ a lie that is the truth. a truth that is entirely falsehood. his hips begin to move, slow little motions that only barely push past the edge of comfort. and those eyes of his remain on hers every last second - watching, worrying, wishing for her happiness. ]
[ Her breath comes shuddering out of her against his mouth. This has already been so different from every other time he's touched her before but this is something else together. She feels warm, all the way up and down her spine and she thinks — she can't believe that he thought for a second she'd regret this. She's been so, so lonely for so long and for the person who sees her to be the one making her feel like this...
She wonders if he's the same. The hesitation feels a little familiar and she lets herself wonder for just a moment if maybe— after all, she has no idea how this sort of thing works for Servants. If that's the case, then...
Is it cruel to think of him as cute right now? Her fingers stroke through his hair and her voice is low, sweet and breathy. ]
Even if I don't, I still want it. You act like you're hurting me, but it all feels so good.
[ It stings. Her bruises ache. The places he marked with his teeth are and will be tender for hours to come. But now she sees him so clearly, how could she say any of it hurts? ]
[ she likes this. she wants this. that truth suffuses her every word, bright and shining and unbearable to look at. he can't possibly understand how someone like her would want him like this-
or maybe he can understand all too well. when her fingers thread through his hair, when a dirty little human offers him everything he's ever needed and then some-
his hips roll a bit further, a bit faster - still slow, still worried. ]
Some idol you are.
[ she is so, so much more than an idol. a goddess. a myth. a queen. ]
[ Her breath rushes out in a laugh. It should be bitter but even she's surprised to hear it come out warm, shaky and bright. ]
I know. I know — [ Her voice catches and she has to pull in a sharp breath to steady it again. ] Someone like me shouldn't be an idol. That's why it's all pretend.
[ She was broken long before she ever stood on stage but that was something that could be forgiven — but nobody can forgive an idol who's filthy, who cheats on her fans. The kind who lets someone have his way with her right out on the floor of her own home then asks to be taken to bed for more.
None of them would ever forgive her. None of them would ever accept her.
But that's fine. She tips her face up towards his, close enough to feel his breath on her mouth. ]
So I won't be an idol right now. I'lljustbeyourMaster. That's fine... right?
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no subject
At least you know that much. Maybe you're smarter than you look.
[ idiot. idiot. who else could adore him, seeing him like this? little daggers, etching i love you with every word. he reaches down, forces his hand past the waistband of her leggings - strokes at her, shockingly delicate for such wicked claws. ]
No one wants a filthy idol. Nobody else will take you now. [ i'll be by your side as long as you'd have me. ] You know that, right?
no subject
She makes a greedy little noise of approval and her hips lift into his touch. ]
I know. I've always known that.
[ That's why she lies. It's why she has to lie. But of course he understands that without her needing to say it. Maybe he has all along. ]
So it has to be you. If nobody else will, then it has to be you.
no subject
arousalrevulsion, presses in just a bit more firmly - strokes small circles around her as he hisses into her ear. ]Revolting. Disgusting. Die in a ditch. Carrion bugs like you make me sick. [ insects. family. we're two sides of a coin. ] You're lucky I'm willing to even look at you.
[ he reaches up, jerks at her hair - pulls her to look at him again before crushing his lips against hers. and the whole while, that gentle pace continues, stroking and circling and loving her. ]
no subject
Her thighs pinch together again. Her whole body feels wound tight and warm and she can barely breathe. It's so good her head is spinning and the arms that'd been clinging onto his neck for purchase draw even tighter. ]
You're— the worst— [ She huffs that out as best she can between kisses, her voice ragged and uneven. ] Right here on the floor instead of taking me to bed— you couldn't wait...
[ He couldn't wait. He's so impatient to have her, they're doing this here. When has anyone ever wanted her like that? ]
no subject
[ it's incredible, how he keeps the same pace the whole while. even as ai's arms tighten around him. even as her tongue plays at his lips. even when she says that and he sees, understanding full well - the bed, not now but after, please, keep loving me-
the way his fingers stay gentle up until he tugs her leggings down - those wicked claws suddenly shredding through the same fabric he'd been so gentle with - it betrays something. the depths of his affection. the way he adores her. how much he loves her- ]
I told you already, didn't I? You mean nothing. This is just for my entertainment, by this point.
[ -even if he will never, ever be able to say it truthfully. ]
Well? Is this what you wanted?
[ because even now, even like this, he cannot possibly comprehend that being the truth. ]
no subject
Liar. she thinks again. But she doesn't bother saying it. There's no point, when both of them know.
She eases herself back, flat onto the floor. Her hair's still damp, clinging to her bruised and bitten neck and the dark wood floor is cold under her bare skin. But she doesn't flinch. One hand curls back from around his neck and slowly, almost dreamily, she brushes the dark hair from his forehead. It suits him better like this, she thinks. ]
Yes. [ She smooths a lock of hair behind his ear. The tips of her fingers skim his jawline too — she's realizing now that she's never been permitted to touch him before and now she desperately wants to. ] I was wishing for it as hard as I could when I summoned you. Because it's true — I'm underhanded and dirty. As people go... I'm hopeless. The only thing I've ever known how to do is tell pretty lies that make people happy.
[ She's cradling his face now — one thumb smoothing over the crest of his cheek. He makes such ugly faces like he's trying to cover it up, but... from this close, his eyes are so, so lovely. ]
But you came to find me. You came to see me. And I've been wishing for that before I ever knew about the Grail. So... please touch me.
no subject
wonderfulhorrible things. she's agreeing with every cruel word out of his liar's mouth, and she means it-and he can't bring himself to stop. even now, staring down at her beneath him, trying to drink up as much of her body as he can with his gaze still locked on hers, he can't stop talking. ]
Haha. Ha. [ even now, as his human fingers fumble at his trousers, his verminous side betrays him; he runs the back of a claw along her cheek, unspeakably gentle despite the impending reality of what he intends to do. ] Deep down, you're just an ordinary girl. Just like any other.
[ the grandest, most unbelievable lie he's ever told. nobody could ever be like her. she is his queen, his beloved, his titania. he shoves cloth down and out of the way, lines up against her-
hesitates, even now. a blushing virgin to the very end. ]
Don't bite your tongue, you little tart.
no subject
But Oberon is here. Vortigern is here. He's looking at her and touching her in all the ways nobody is allowed to do. In the one way she's wanted somebody to for as long as she can remember. ]
I won't.
[ She says it with a smile — a wonky angle to her lips, like she's telling a joke she's unsure of. And instead of saying anything else — or letting him second guess her again — she tugs him down to meet her so she can kiss him again. She's done pretending to be patient. ]
no subject
it's different than he'd thought. warmer. wet, in a way that should remind him of the damp mud of the woods but feels instead like the sun burning him away. when he pauses, it's solely for his own sake - a moment to collect his thoughts, and nothing more. certainly no concern for the woman beneath him.
those cold blue eyes flare, blazing with
adorationhatred. ]Disgusting. Worthless. Don't you- [ -a sharp gasp, his head gently coming down to rest against hers- ] -don't you dare think you deserve my touch.
[ a lie that is the truth. a truth that is entirely falsehood. his hips begin to move, slow little motions that only barely push past the edge of comfort. and those eyes of his remain on hers every last second - watching, worrying, wishing for her happiness. ]
no subject
She wonders if he's the same. The hesitation feels a little familiar and she lets herself wonder for just a moment if maybe— after all, she has no idea how this sort of thing works for Servants. If that's the case, then...
Is it cruel to think of him as cute right now? Her fingers stroke through his hair and her voice is low, sweet and breathy. ]
Even if I don't, I still want it. You act like you're hurting me, but it all feels so good.
[ It stings. Her bruises ache. The places he marked with his teeth are and will be tender for hours to come. But now she sees him so clearly, how could she say any of it hurts? ]
no subject
[ she likes this. she wants this. that truth suffuses her every word, bright and shining and unbearable to look at. he can't possibly understand how someone like her would want him like this-
or maybe he can understand all too well. when her fingers thread through his hair, when a dirty little human offers him everything he's ever needed and then some-
his hips roll a bit further, a bit faster - still slow, still worried. ]
Some idol you are.
[ she is so, so much more than an idol. a goddess. a myth. a queen. ]
no subject
I know. I know — [ Her voice catches and she has to pull in a sharp breath to steady it again. ] Someone like me shouldn't be an idol. That's why it's all pretend.
[ She was broken long before she ever stood on stage but that was something that could be forgiven — but nobody can forgive an idol who's filthy, who cheats on her fans. The kind who lets someone have his way with her right out on the floor of her own home then asks to be taken to bed for more.
None of them would ever forgive her. None of them would ever accept her.
But that's fine. She tips her face up towards his, close enough to feel his breath on her mouth. ]
So I won't be an idol right now. I'll just be your Master. That's fine... right?