[ For a second, Ai's expression mirrors his own. Lips parted, eyes widened and all that light in her eyes softened and tempered by surprise. It's the look of someone being faced with the realization that sometimes, the world might be just a little bit kinder than she'd first expected.
Of course he knew. Rinne's not stupid and she'd been all but begging him to figure it out by putting the incriminating evidence in his hands. In fact, now she thinks about it... that had probably been the point all along, hadn't it? She'd wanted him to figure it out and ask so Ai didn't have to be the one to tell him. Because if she'd trusted him enough to tell him and he'd reacted any other way... ]
... Mm. I'd wanted to tell... anybody, really. For a really long time. Since I knew I was even having them to begin with. But I especially wanted you to know.
[ Everything feels so quiet and still, suddenly. Rinne's gentle voice, his careful touch, his hand in hers... the moment feels so delicate and fragile that she's scared of doing or saying the wrong thing in case it splits open and breaks.
But it's okay. If she's with Rinne, then...
She swallows again and squeezes his hand, tight. Then, at last, she pulls in one more shaky breath and manages to drag her eyes up to meet his. Even in a moment like this - or maybe because it's a moment like this - she's struck so strongly and suddenly by the thought of just how lovely his eyes are. ]
[Ai's starry eyes are so sincere, they make Rinne want to fall apart. When he's alone with his idol who loves him more than life itself, he wants nothing more than to sink into the comfort of her arms like how he does in his dreams, her embrace warm and inviting. But he doesn't—can't. Not when she needs him now. Not when he has a family to protect.
Rinne chuckles, his voice soft and fond.]
You trust me that much, huh? I appreciate it. I really, really do. I mean, lying's tough. Keepin' secrets is tough. You're so hard to read, it drives me crazy. But we're friends, Ai. When you got friends like me, you don't gotta carry these things yourself, y'know?
[He presses her knuckles to his lips, which tug into a playful smirk.]
We're more than just friends now, though. I'll say it again: let me lighten the load for ya, Ai. Let's get married.
[ It's not the first time Ai's heard those words. Behind confessions of love, it's the thing gachikoi groups like B-Komachi hear more than anything else from fans. That sort of devotion is exactly what they're supposed to inspire, but Ai isn't naive enough to think that any of them ever really mean it.
That boy had said it too and maybe he'd meant it - but he hadn't understood it. And that was fine - Ai certainly hadn't understood what marriage was supposed to be back then either. But she was certain that it wasn't anything like the way he'd wanted it, a world comprised of only two people with just enough space to lick each others' wounds. There was no place in a world like that for the babies in her belly and so she'd rejected him, blithely and without a thought.
She had said yes to Rinne in much the same way - thoughtlessly, too overwhelmed by stirred up sensation and feelings to even try thinking about it. And maybe that had been fine for the way Rinne had asked her then, but when he asks her like this, so achingly sincere it makes her chest clench, asking it when he means it, when he knows full well what he's asking and who he's asking, that she's dirty and timid, irresponsible and impure...
Ah. she thinks to herself as she holds his gaze. I really do love him so much.
Her hand doesn't leave his and it's such an awkward position but she absolutely can't help herself. Ai leans in and, with her free arm wrapped around him, hugs him. Tight. ]
I want that. So much that it's scaring me... but the idea of not having it scares me even more. [ From this angle, he won't be able to see her face... but the way her voice wavers and hitches can't be mistaken for anything but tears. ] So let's do it. Whenever anything's hurting, whenever anything's too heavy to carry on your own, let's carry it together. Let's be a family, Rinne-kun.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Of course he knew. Rinne's not stupid and she'd been all but begging him to figure it out by putting the incriminating evidence in his hands. In fact, now she thinks about it... that had probably been the point all along, hadn't it? She'd wanted him to figure it out and ask so Ai didn't have to be the one to tell him. Because if she'd trusted him enough to tell him and he'd reacted any other way... ]
... Mm. I'd wanted to tell... anybody, really. For a really long time. Since I knew I was even having them to begin with. But I especially wanted you to know.
[ Everything feels so quiet and still, suddenly. Rinne's gentle voice, his careful touch, his hand in hers... the moment feels so delicate and fragile that she's scared of doing or saying the wrong thing in case it splits open and breaks.
But it's okay. If she's with Rinne, then...
She swallows again and squeezes his hand, tight. Then, at last, she pulls in one more shaky breath and manages to drag her eyes up to meet his. Even in a moment like this - or maybe because it's a moment like this - she's struck so strongly and suddenly by the thought of just how lovely his eyes are. ]
no subject
Rinne chuckles, his voice soft and fond.]
You trust me that much, huh? I appreciate it. I really, really do. I mean, lying's tough. Keepin' secrets is tough. You're so hard to read, it drives me crazy. But we're friends, Ai. When you got friends like me, you don't gotta carry these things yourself, y'know?
[He presses her knuckles to his lips, which tug into a playful smirk.]
We're more than just friends now, though. I'll say it again: let me lighten the load for ya, Ai. Let's get married.
no subject
That boy had said it too and maybe he'd meant it - but he hadn't understood it. And that was fine - Ai certainly hadn't understood what marriage was supposed to be back then either. But she was certain that it wasn't anything like the way he'd wanted it, a world comprised of only two people with just enough space to lick each others' wounds. There was no place in a world like that for the babies in her belly and so she'd rejected him, blithely and without a thought.
She had said yes to Rinne in much the same way - thoughtlessly, too overwhelmed by stirred up sensation and feelings to even try thinking about it. And maybe that had been fine for the way Rinne had asked her then, but when he asks her like this, so achingly sincere it makes her chest clench, asking it when he means it, when he knows full well what he's asking and who he's asking, that she's dirty and timid, irresponsible and impure...
Ah. she thinks to herself as she holds his gaze. I really do love him so much.
Her hand doesn't leave his and it's such an awkward position but she absolutely can't help herself. Ai leans in and, with her free arm wrapped around him, hugs him. Tight. ]
I want that. So much that it's scaring me... but the idea of not having it scares me even more. [ From this angle, he won't be able to see her face... but the way her voice wavers and hitches can't be mistaken for anything but tears. ] So let's do it. Whenever anything's hurting, whenever anything's too heavy to carry on your own, let's carry it together. Let's be a family, Rinne-kun.