[ Ai's so tensed up, so sick with the anticipation of it that even though his touch doesn't hurt at all, for a split second after his hands lay on her, she half-convinces herself she feels some sort of pain. She's stiff as a board in her arms, shock and alarm and fear and all manner of other things - but then the moment stills and Ai stills with it.
The thick fur of the stole is soft and heavy, beaded through with rainwater and the itch of the fabric against her skin is oddly grounding. It's enough that she can remember how to breathe. The hand in her hair, the one anchoring her against him... it's rough and indelicate like everything else about him, but that isn't the same thing as hurting her.
Oh. She realizes, perhaps pathetically late, that this is a hug.
Gradually, the tension holding her so stiff comes unwind and she doesn't so much as relax as she does entirely sag against him. Even if it's coming from someone who doesn't have any choice but being here with her, when was the last time anyone had held her like this?
She catches the sleeve of his shirt just barely between her thumb and her finger. It's all she trusts herself to do. ]
... you're just as bad.
[ Like before, her voice is catching as if on the brink of tears. ]
When you say things like that then you come and protect me... what am I supposed to do?
[ Oberon is silent. She's right, after all. He's just as bad... no, if anything, he's worse. Everything he says is a lie, all he can do is manipulate what the lie is.
...so he doesn't say a single thing. Instead, he simply acts. His bloodied hand, tough and hard with the carapace of the bug, a hand that once easily bruised her just by gripping too hard... gently—or at least, an attempt and gentleness, to be honest, he's still as indelicate as ever—caresses the back of her head. It's getting blood all over her hair, but that doesn't matter.
He rest his head on her shoulder, up against her neck, closer than he's ever allowed himself to be before. His other hand, wrapped around her back, holds her close and tight to his chest... as if she might vanish if he were to let go. ]
[ If it wasn't for the itchy, oozing pain still beating in her thigh then she'd be tempted to think this whole thing was a dream. Everything suddenly feels fragile and strange, a moment paused like a held breath that might crack apart and break if she says or does the wrong thing. Rain beats against the windows, wind howls outside but the only thing she can really hear is the pounding of her heart and Oberon's breath. He's so close she can feel it skimming her neck with each exhale. It occurs to her - he's close enough to bite out her throat, if the mood struck him. But he probably won't.
He's so frightening. He's coarse and mean, sharp edged in all the places Ai has forced herself to be soft and yielding. In just about every way imaginable, they don't match up at all. But if he's kind to her like this, if there's a person here who'll be gentle with her in the ways nobody else is -
All of a sudden, she's a little afraid again. For all the wrong reasons.
Her fingers tug at his sleeve. ]
... it still hurts.
[ The wound isn't fully closed. It's by no means an emergency anymore and could be left to heal naturally. But if he keeps holding onto her like that, Ai doesn't know what she'll do. ]
[ ...right, he did just leave it half-incomplete, didn't he? He feels an urge to click his tongue...
...he resists that urge. She'll be able to feel his grip on the back of her head briefly tighten, but... he releases his grip on her and pulls away.
She can see his face again, but this time, it's him looking away for a change. Avoiding her gaze as he reaches for her leg again, pressing down on the partially-healed wound. This time, he does click his tongue. ]
[ Ah. Her hair's all sticky. Was there blood in it last time, too? She doesn't remember. Nausea rises up in her throat for a second but she manages to force it back down into her stomach with a hard swallow. ]
That's okay. [ It's not at all. Idols can't have blemishes, let alone scars. But it's a little late for Ai to be worrying about that. ] Nobody else is going to see it.
[ Oberon will know, but that's it. It's a little strange to think of the two of them sharing a secret. ]
[ She's not wrong there. Hell, considering that it's a stab wound, coming away with just a scar should be a blessing in and of itself. What a hassle, being an idol is...
Aside from the laugh, Oberon is silent, pressing down on the wound with a glowing hand while the pain slowly subsides. It's a strange sensation, as some of the fresher blood spilt on her leg starts to move back inside her. Not all of it, his healing magecraft isn't that effective, but it's better than nothing. She's still lost a fair amount of blood, it may still be in her best interest to see a doctor later. ]
...there.
[ He takes his hand away. Her leg is still somewhat covered in her own blood, and the place where the knife had pierced must still have a tingling sensation to it, but the wound is closed. The knife was in so deep, it must have left an incredibly nasty scar...
...except there isn't one. There isn't a single sign of a scar on her leg. It healed perfectly. ]
[ With each beat of her pulse, the pain eases. It's an unpleasant sensation, pins and needles and the flowing of blood back into her veins, but it doesn't exactly hurt anymore. If it wasn't for the blood, the scar that must surely be there by now, she wouldn't be able to-
Oh. Hold on. There's no scar at all.
Ai stares down at the spot where the wound was. Her head is swimming, adrenaline and blood loss both making her vision swim in their own distinct ways but even when she blinks furiously to clear it, there's nothing at all. Just blood and clear, unmarked skin. She doesn't have so much as a bruise.
Her lips part and her eyes flit up uncertainty to his face. ]
What, you don't trust my magecraft? Well, I suppose I wouldn't either.
[ He laughs, it's an emptier laugh than he wanted, but it'll have to do. He's really not in the mood for jokes right now, after all. He glances at the spot where the knife had gone in... perfectly healed. No discoloration in the slightest. Idols are such a hassle, needing to be completely unblemished and all.
Well, it can just be added to the endlessly growing pile of lies Oberon has told her. He gets up and takes off his fur stole, cloak and everything, and dumps it haphazardly into Ai's arms. They were out in the rain for quite a while, and Ai had lost a lot of blood, she must have lost a considerable amount of body heat as well. ]
I'm heading out. It's possible we were followed.
[ If someone is trying to start a proper grail war, then as annoying as it is, he can't afford to be sloppy anymore. He's no Caster, but he can set up a basic bounded field, and it's better than nothing.
But more than that, he doesn't think he can bear to look at Ai right now, so he needs to get out. ]
[ She fumbles for a second to catch his cloak, torn between not wanting to get any more of her blood on it than she probably has already and not wanting to let it go tumbling to the floor. It's only when it's actually in her arms, though, that she realises just how cold she is and how much she's been trembling this whole time. And it's strange - she's always thought of Oberon as cold, too, but the bundle of fabric in her arms is warm.
She hesitates just for a moment before she puts it over her shoulders and lets it wrap around her. It's not ideal, but it should keep her warm until she can stand and make her way to the bath. She's plastered with rain and blood and sweat - she must be filthy right now.
Another apology swims up from her chest at the prospect of getting his clothes dirty but she doesn't get a chance to voice it. At the prospect of him leaving, her head snaps up and before she can stop herself- ]
W-wait just a second...!
[ She catches the bottom of his shirt, just barely making contact. Nowhere near enough to actually stop him from going if he really means to leave. And yet-
A moment drags itself by and Ai realises she has nothing to say that can justify asking him to stay. Even she doesn't know why she suddenly needs him to do badly but instinctively, she knows that telling him that she does is a bad idea.
Her eyes settle on the command seal on the back of her hand. One stroke missing. It looks unbalanced and off kilter, just like she feels.
Ai swallows. ]
If... if anything else happens... can I call you back like I did before? Will it work again?
[ It's only the barest minimum of contact. Hell, if Oberon took one more step, she'd lose her tiny hold on him in an instant. Yet he freezes right then and there, still avoiding her gaze. His kneejerk reaction is to do something along the lines of harshly going "What!?", but inexplicably enough, he finds himself unable to say even that. ]
Of...
[ Of course it would. He almost says it, but stops himself. Hell, even if it wasn't a command, he has a feeling that with the way he is right now... he'd rush over in an instant. ]
...don't. You can't replenish those, idiot.
[ He could just leave it at that. In fact, he should just leave it at that... but he makes the foolish mistake of glancing at her again, and god damn it, he should know better.
"Don't leave", huh? Damn these eyes of his. ]
...AGH shit! You're such a pain...
[ He brings a hand up to rub the back of his head in genuine annoyance, partially at the woman who is his Master, but mostly at himself. He scoffs and turns... to face her instead of leaving. Suddenly, he's moving closer, forcing himself into her space and wrapping his arms around her from behind. ]
[ She's already spinning all manner of excuses in her head, justifications to make him stay just a few seconds longer. If this was anyone else, maybe she would just admit what it is she wants and why - not that she's ever been any good at that - but the thought of trying to do that with him makes her words dry up in her mouth. He'd told her not to lie to him and she's been doing her best not to but that doesn't mean she can suddenly start coming out with the truth.
Not that it matters, anyway. The instant she's wrapped up in his arms again, all of her breath comes out of her, soft and surprised. This time too, she's stiff and uncertain - afraid all over again for all the wrong reasons.
Even though he's so warm, Ai's still shaking. ]
Don't... [ don't touch me. don't leave me. ] You shouldn't.. [ don't hold me. you shouldn't be kind to me. ]
[ Don't hate me. Don't be kind to me. Don't hurt me. Don't hold me.
No wonder he calls her troublesome. ]
I mean... I-if we really were followed, then...
[ Her voice trembles, too. She's scared. But not of the Assassin. ]
[ Of course, despite the fact that she doesn't shut up, he doesn't leave. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, but his hold on her remains. She's troublesome, it's the only way Oberon can describe her. Don't touch, don't leave, don't hold, don't hate... ]
Decide on what you want already, damn it...
[ He whispers it under his breath, but he's close enough that Ai will be able to hear it anyways. He rests his head on top of hers and sighs. ]
I fought my ass off for you, so I'll do whatever I want.
[ Including touching you, holding you, being kind to you... well, maybe scratch that last part, he's still an ass... but he won't be leaving either. ]
[ Decide what she wants, huh? Wouldn't it make things so much easier if she could? Maybe if she'd ever been allowed to have anything back when she'd still been stupid enough to try asking, she'd have a better idea. But she's spent so much of her life giving everyone else the things they want, she doesn't know how to do it for herself anymore.
So, if Oberon says this is something he wants, that makes it easier. So easy that it scares her. It's pathetic to cling so tightly to someone who's only here because they have to be, but if he gives her the slightest excuse to indulge when her heart's in such tatters- ]
... Is that... really okay?
[ Small, meek, apologetic. The frightened little voice that could never come out of Ai of B-Komachi, but that so often finds itself in the mouth of Hoshino Ai instead. ]
I'm no good as a Master. I'm even worse as a person. I know I'm more trouble than I'm worth. S-so... is this... really okay?
[ He says nothing at first, of course he doesn't. Oberon Vortigern will never be able to say what she needs to hear, because what she needs to hear is the truth, not a lie.
But... he brings a hand up to cup Ai's cheek. ]
...just be quiet already.
[ It's all he can say, all he can allow himself to say, as he holds her so carefully... as if she's made of fragile porcelain, not wanting to shatter her with his grip, but gripping tight so as to not let go. ]
[ Her heart feels like it's dropping into her stomach. If he'd snapped at her, made it clear this was an indulgence entirely for his own benefit and nothing more then that would be fine. She could remind herself that they're Master and Servant even if they playact at being equals and any hint of intimacy or care between them is just a necessary transaction. She's an idol, after all. She knows how this works better than anyone.
So it's terrifying to be faced with this. If she knows he can be gentle, if there's even the tiniest part of him that has any attachment to her whatsoever, enough for something like this...
Again, Ai slumps against him. Her fingers curl into his shirt. He's not leaving but she needs to anchor him against her anyway. And she doesn't trust herself to do anything more with her hands. ]
Mm. I'll be quiet. I'll- whatever it is, I'll do it. So stay just a little longer.
[ She hates the note of a plea in her voice even as she can't stop it from bleeding though. ]
[ His arm around her waist tightens, and he goes silent once again. He'd never exactly respected Ai's personal space before, but he's never been quite so close either.
Her hair is wet with rainwater and matted with blood. There's nothing at all pleasant about having his face in it right now. She's filthy, covered in blood, sweaty too... though being soaked in rainwater mitigates that to a certain extent. Fans of Ai might expect her to smell much more pleasant, but right now, she's anything but.
Yet despite Oberon's claimed hatred of filth and such, he doesn't feel like that at all right now.
He doesn't leave, he just holds her. The door to the apartment was kicked completely off it's hinges and is now laying flat on the other side of the room, so the sound of heavy rain is louder as a result, but he doesn't even move to deal with that. Sure, it'll have to be dealt with eventually, but...
...he can't help but realize that it feels good to touch her like this. ]
[ Ai isn't exactly starved of touch, she doesn't think. She's done so many handshake sessions that sometimes, it feels like the sensation of someone else's hands in hers is permanently imprinted on her skin. But nobody's allowed to get close enough to hold her like this. She does it for Aqua and Ruby all the time but that isn't the same as someone doing it for her.
She knows this is a terrible idea. This will go terribly wrong because it always does - she's never known how to do any of it right and she ruins everything every time. She doesn't dare hope that she might have learned her lesson at last just because she finally paid for her mistakes in blood.
But he's warm. And he's being so gentle with her. And when she'd cried out for his help, he'd been at her side in an instant.
Oh, she's in deep, deep trouble, isn't she?
It's Ai who pulls away first, - after much too long, enough time that doesn't know if she'd been in his arms for minutes or an hour. It's not a rejection - it's a retreat. ]
... I, um... I'll need to take a bath.
[ It's true - but even she knows what a transparent excuse it is and she can't bring herself to look at him as she says it. ]
[ He holds her for a long, long time. Not that Oberon has any way of telling how long it's been, he simply hadn't much cared. She was filthy, she was covered in blood, yet... he couldn't get enough of her.
...oh, they're both in trouble, aren't they?
Her sudden retreat is almost perceived as a rejection, but even without his eyes, it wouldn't have taken long to realize that it's decidedly a retreat. He knows this even faster thanks to what he's able to see... yet when she suddenly pulls out of his arms, he... ]
Ah...
[ He finds himself reaching out to grab her again. An act that he realizes and stops halfway, but the damage is already done. He's got his arm raised halfway, as if to pull her back, but stopped before he could actually grab her.
His eyes are wide with realization for a moment before promptly pulling his hand back. ]
...good, about time.
[ She's lying, they're both lying, it's disgusting... but he doesn't say anything else. ]
[ It takes a second for her to know what to do with her face. She won't let herself seem disappointed, even if she is, because they're already treading such dangerous ground as it is.
Finally though, she manages to wrench a smile into place. It's thin and apologetic, a little awkward - but it's stitched together so perfectly that it almost looks real. Even at a time like this, she can pride herself on performing the right kind of smile. ]
Sorry. I really did make a mess of this, huh? Ah, but if it's healed now then I should be able to clean everything up when I'm done...
[ She's babbling. In her feeble attempt to make this all normal again, she's making things worse.
But she manages to peek up at his face. Her fingers in his shirt tighten just for a second, then... ]
[ Oh... what a truly wicked woman, she is. He wants to grab her, pull her back in and say no, you're mine. What a thought for him to have, huh? Him, the Abyssal Wyrm, the embodiment of an infinite hole that consumes all, a void of endless falling... and he wants to pull her in.
He's completely silent as she lets him go. He keeps his hands tight to his sides, keeping them from reaching out and dragging her back into his arms whether she likes it or not.
This feeling... it hurts like hell.
But it's for the best. They both have things they need to do. Ai needs to clean herself up, Oberon needs to fortify their defenses... they can't stay falling like that forever.
Yet once Ai leaves, he can't help but put a hand up to his forehead and sigh. ]
...shit.
[ ...he should start setting up that bounded field now, shouldn't he? ]
[ When Ai makes her way from the room, she's impressed with herself that she manages not to run. She's definitely fleeing but she doesn't want to make it that much more obvious - and she doesn't quite trust her legs to carry her that fast, besides. She goes without glancing back, forces herself to keep her pace steady and it's only when she reaches the entrance before the bath that she shuts the door and lets herself slowly sink down to the floor and press her face into her hands.
It's fine. She can make everything go back to normal in the morning. She's only feeling like this because she's so shaken up - they call that the suspension bridge effect, right? Confusing fear and alarm for excitement and something else. She's had plenty of the former this evening, so it wouldn't be a surprise.
She's telling herself things like that over and over as she washes, scrubbing her hair until her scalp aches and doing the same to her skin in all the places she still sees blood until she's red and raw. She thinks she still smells blood, so she pours every offensively scented product she can find over her body, citrus and strawberries, summer flowers and winter fruits until even she knows the last dregs of the heavy, coppery smell are only in her imagination.
It's almost an hour later that she finally emerges, dressed for bed and her hair still just damp enough to cling to her neck. She knows the smart thing to do is go right to bed and greet the morning while pretending none of this had happened, but...
If this evening has proven anything, it's that Ai's not particularly good at doing the smart thing. So, still pale and shaky, she makes her way back to the living room. Just to make sure things have calmed down, she tells herself. ]
[ When Ai returns to the living room... well, not a lot has changed. The sofa is still stained with blood, which isn't too surprising, since Oberon has never ever cleaned up the place... but more than that, it's empty. His cloak, bloodied and wet, is still exactly where Ai left it when she retreated.
The rain outside has slowed to a halt, no longer beating heavily against the windows. The sky is still dark, but it won't be long until it starts to brighten. They had fought late into the night, after all.
But none of that really matters, does it? He's not here. ]
[ She can only have been stood there staring into the empty room for a few moments but with her mind suddenly whirring in alarm, it feels like that much longer. With the wind and rain no longer battering the windows, it's eerily quiet. It's exactly how things should sound this late into the night and yet something about it seems sinister.
He said he was going to make sure they weren't followed. If she's still here and nothing has happened, then everything should be fine. She should just go to bed and when morning comes, everything will be just fine, right?
Hah. Even she's not that good of a liar. ]
Wh... where...
[ Again, that awful note of a plea in her voice. She tries to swallow it back but she can't.
As if on autopilot, Ai makes for the door quicker than she should. She fumbles to shove on a coat, stunbles into her shoes and then goes tripping out past the broken door as well. ]
[ It'd be nice if he were there, just standing out in the hallway, where he could've easily heard and responded to Ai when she asked out loud to the empty living room if he was still there... maybe playing some kind of mean-spirited prank, but no, he's not there either. The hallway is as empty as one would expect it to be at this hour, it's honestly nothing unusual.
Well, except for one thing... a single white moth perched on the hallway railing, as if waiting for her. A moth that Ai may have seen every now and then whenever Oberon was out and about as the Fairy King. Blanca was her name, wasn't it?
She stares at Ai briefly before her wings start to flutter, and she starts to fly towards the building stairs. Their apartment is already on the top floor of the building, there's really only one place the stairs can go from there. ]
[ She's got it all wrong. She knows she's panicking, overreacting, that she's being so beyond ridiculous right now that it isn't funny. She tells herself that she's not going to chase after this any further, no matter how sick the dingy, empty hallway makes her feel. She'll turn back around, go to bed and everything will go back to normal. So long as she keeps repeating that to herself, it's sure to happen.
(What a joke.)
She goes stumbling up the stairs after the moth, taking them two at a time even as they catch her feet on the way up. She makes it up without any further incident, wretches the door to the roof open and goes staggering out into the cool night air without a bit of grace.
Blanca lead her up here. So surely Oberon has to be here too. If he's not, then what will she even do? ]
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no subject
The thick fur of the stole is soft and heavy, beaded through with rainwater and the itch of the fabric against her skin is oddly grounding. It's enough that she can remember how to breathe. The hand in her hair, the one anchoring her against him... it's rough and indelicate like everything else about him, but that isn't the same thing as hurting her.
Oh. She realizes, perhaps pathetically late, that this is a hug.
Gradually, the tension holding her so stiff comes unwind and she doesn't so much as relax as she does entirely sag against him. Even if it's coming from someone who doesn't have any choice but being here with her, when was the last time anyone had held her like this?
She catches the sleeve of his shirt just barely between her thumb and her finger. It's all she trusts herself to do. ]
... you're just as bad.
[ Like before, her voice is catching as if on the brink of tears. ]
When you say things like that then you come and protect me... what am I supposed to do?
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...so he doesn't say a single thing. Instead, he simply acts. His bloodied hand, tough and hard with the carapace of the bug, a hand that once easily bruised her just by gripping too hard... gently—or at least, an attempt and gentleness, to be honest, he's still as indelicate as ever—caresses the back of her head. It's getting blood all over her hair, but that doesn't matter.
He rest his head on her shoulder, up against her neck, closer than he's ever allowed himself to be before. His other hand, wrapped around her back, holds her close and tight to his chest... as if she might vanish if he were to let go. ]
...who knows?
[ ...is all he says. ]
no subject
He's so frightening. He's coarse and mean, sharp edged in all the places Ai has forced herself to be soft and yielding. In just about every way imaginable, they don't match up at all. But if he's kind to her like this, if there's a person here who'll be gentle with her in the ways nobody else is -
All of a sudden, she's a little afraid again. For all the wrong reasons.
Her fingers tug at his sleeve. ]
... it still hurts.
[ The wound isn't fully closed. It's by no means an emergency anymore and could be left to heal naturally. But if he keeps holding onto her like that, Ai doesn't know what she'll do. ]
no subject
[ ...right, he did just leave it half-incomplete, didn't he? He feels an urge to click his tongue...
...he resists that urge. She'll be able to feel his grip on the back of her head briefly tighten, but... he releases his grip on her and pulls away.
She can see his face again, but this time, it's him looking away for a change. Avoiding her gaze as he reaches for her leg again, pressing down on the partially-healed wound. This time, he does click his tongue. ]
...it's going to leave a scar.
[
Will it, now?]no subject
That's okay. [ It's not at all. Idols can't have blemishes, let alone scars. But it's a little late for Ai to be worrying about that. ] Nobody else is going to see it.
[ Oberon will know, but that's it. It's a little strange to think of the two of them sharing a secret. ]
... Besides. It's better than the alternative.
[ Speaking from experience. ]
no subject
[ She's not wrong there. Hell, considering that it's a stab wound, coming away with just a scar should be a blessing in and of itself. What a hassle, being an idol is...
Aside from the laugh, Oberon is silent, pressing down on the wound with a glowing hand while the pain slowly subsides. It's a strange sensation, as some of the fresher blood spilt on her leg starts to move back inside her. Not all of it, his healing magecraft isn't that effective, but it's better than nothing. She's still lost a fair amount of blood, it may still be in her best interest to see a doctor later. ]
...there.
[ He takes his hand away. Her leg is still somewhat covered in her own blood, and the place where the knife had pierced must still have a tingling sensation to it, but the wound is closed. The knife was in so deep, it must have left an incredibly nasty scar...
...except there isn't one. There isn't a single sign of a scar on her leg. It healed perfectly. ]
no subject
Oh. Hold on. There's no scar at all.
Ai stares down at the spot where the wound was. Her head is swimming, adrenaline and blood loss both making her vision swim in their own distinct ways but even when she blinks furiously to clear it, there's nothing at all. Just blood and clear, unmarked skin. She doesn't have so much as a bruise.
Her lips part and her eyes flit up uncertainty to his face. ]
... It's... Will I be able to stand already...?
no subject
[ He laughs, it's an emptier laugh than he wanted, but it'll have to do. He's really not in the mood for jokes right now, after all. He glances at the spot where the knife had gone in... perfectly healed. No discoloration in the slightest. Idols are such a hassle, needing to be completely unblemished and all.
Well, it can just be added to the endlessly growing pile of lies Oberon has told her. He gets up and takes off his fur stole, cloak and everything, and dumps it haphazardly into Ai's arms. They were out in the rain for quite a while, and Ai had lost a lot of blood, she must have lost a considerable amount of body heat as well. ]
I'm heading out. It's possible we were followed.
[ If someone is trying to start a proper grail war, then as annoying as it is, he can't afford to be sloppy anymore. He's no Caster, but he can set up a basic bounded field, and it's better than nothing.
But more than that, he doesn't think he can bear to look at Ai right now, so he needs to get out. ]
no subject
[ She fumbles for a second to catch his cloak, torn between not wanting to get any more of her blood on it than she probably has already and not wanting to let it go tumbling to the floor. It's only when it's actually in her arms, though, that she realises just how cold she is and how much she's been trembling this whole time. And it's strange - she's always thought of Oberon as cold, too, but the bundle of fabric in her arms is warm.
She hesitates just for a moment before she puts it over her shoulders and lets it wrap around her. It's not ideal, but it should keep her warm until she can stand and make her way to the bath. She's plastered with rain and blood and sweat - she must be filthy right now.
Another apology swims up from her chest at the prospect of getting his clothes dirty but she doesn't get a chance to voice it. At the prospect of him leaving, her head snaps up and before she can stop herself- ]
W-wait just a second...!
[ She catches the bottom of his shirt, just barely making contact. Nowhere near enough to actually stop him from going if he really means to leave. And yet-
A moment drags itself by and Ai realises she has nothing to say that can justify asking him to stay. Even she doesn't know why she suddenly needs him to do badly but instinctively, she knows that telling him that she does is a bad idea.
Her eyes settle on the command seal on the back of her hand. One stroke missing. It looks unbalanced and off kilter, just like she feels.
Ai swallows. ]
If... if anything else happens... can I call you back like I did before? Will it work again?
no subject
Of...
[ Of course it would. He almost says it, but stops himself. Hell, even if it wasn't a command, he has a feeling that with the way he is right now... he'd rush over in an instant. ]
...don't. You can't replenish those, idiot.
[ He could just leave it at that. In fact, he should just leave it at that... but he makes the foolish mistake of glancing at her again, and god damn it, he should know better.
"Don't leave", huh? Damn these eyes of his. ]
...AGH shit! You're such a pain...
[ He brings a hand up to rub the back of his head in genuine annoyance, partially at the woman who is his Master, but mostly at himself. He scoffs and turns... to face her instead of leaving. Suddenly, he's moving closer, forcing himself into her space and wrapping his arms around her from behind. ]
Not a word. I'm leaving if you do.
no subject
Not that it matters, anyway. The instant she's wrapped up in his arms again, all of her breath comes out of her, soft and surprised. This time too, she's stiff and uncertain - afraid all over again for all the wrong reasons.
Even though he's so warm, Ai's still shaking. ]
Don't... [ don't touch me. don't leave me. ] You shouldn't.. [ don't hold me. you shouldn't be kind to me. ]
[ Don't hate me. Don't be kind to me. Don't hurt me. Don't hold me.
No wonder he calls her troublesome. ]
I mean... I-if we really were followed, then...
[ Her voice trembles, too. She's scared. But not of the Assassin. ]
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Decide on what you want already, damn it...
[ He whispers it under his breath, but he's close enough that Ai will be able to hear it anyways. He rests his head on top of hers and sighs. ]
I fought my ass off for you, so I'll do whatever I want.
[ Including touching you, holding you, being kind to you... well, maybe scratch that last part, he's still an ass... but he won't be leaving either. ]
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So, if Oberon says this is something he wants, that makes it easier. So easy that it scares her. It's pathetic to cling so tightly to someone who's only here because they have to be, but if he gives her the slightest excuse to indulge when her heart's in such tatters- ]
... Is that... really okay?
[ Small, meek, apologetic. The frightened little voice that could never come out of Ai of B-Komachi, but that so often finds itself in the mouth of Hoshino Ai instead. ]
I'm no good as a Master. I'm even worse as a person. I know I'm more trouble than I'm worth. S-so... is this... really okay?
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But... he brings a hand up to cup Ai's cheek. ]
...just be quiet already.
[ It's all he can say, all he can allow himself to say, as he holds her so carefully... as if she's made of fragile porcelain, not wanting to shatter her with his grip, but gripping tight so as to not let go. ]
That's all you need to do...
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So it's terrifying to be faced with this. If she knows he can be gentle, if there's even the tiniest part of him that has any attachment to her whatsoever, enough for something like this...
Again, Ai slumps against him. Her fingers curl into his shirt. He's not leaving but she needs to anchor him against her anyway. And she doesn't trust herself to do anything more with her hands. ]
Mm. I'll be quiet. I'll- whatever it is, I'll do it. So stay just a little longer.
[ She hates the note of a plea in her voice even as she can't stop it from bleeding though. ]
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[ His arm around her waist tightens, and he goes silent once again. He'd never exactly respected Ai's personal space before, but he's never been quite so close either.
Her hair is wet with rainwater and matted with blood. There's nothing at all pleasant about having his face in it right now. She's filthy, covered in blood, sweaty too... though being soaked in rainwater mitigates that to a certain extent. Fans of Ai might expect her to smell much more pleasant, but right now, she's anything but.
Yet despite Oberon's claimed hatred of filth and such, he doesn't feel like that at all right now.
He doesn't leave, he just holds her. The door to the apartment was kicked completely off it's hinges and is now laying flat on the other side of the room, so the sound of heavy rain is louder as a result, but he doesn't even move to deal with that. Sure, it'll have to be dealt with eventually, but...
...he can't help but realize that it feels good to touch her like this. ]
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She knows this is a terrible idea. This will go terribly wrong because it always does - she's never known how to do any of it right and she ruins everything every time. She doesn't dare hope that she might have learned her lesson at last just because she finally paid for her mistakes in blood.
But he's warm. And he's being so gentle with her. And when she'd cried out for his help, he'd been at her side in an instant.
Oh, she's in deep, deep trouble, isn't she?
It's Ai who pulls away first, - after much too long, enough time that doesn't know if she'd been in his arms for minutes or an hour. It's not a rejection - it's a retreat. ]
... I, um... I'll need to take a bath.
[ It's true - but even she knows what a transparent excuse it is and she can't bring herself to look at him as she says it. ]
I'll be okay by myself now.
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...oh, they're both in trouble, aren't they?
Her sudden retreat is almost perceived as a rejection, but even without his eyes, it wouldn't have taken long to realize that it's decidedly a retreat. He knows this even faster thanks to what he's able to see... yet when she suddenly pulls out of his arms, he... ]
Ah...
[ He finds himself reaching out to grab her again. An act that he realizes and stops halfway, but the damage is already done. He's got his arm raised halfway, as if to pull her back, but stopped before he could actually grab her.
His eyes are wide with realization for a moment before promptly pulling his hand back. ]
...good, about time.
[ She's lying, they're both lying, it's disgusting... but he doesn't say anything else. ]
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Finally though, she manages to wrench a smile into place. It's thin and apologetic, a little awkward - but it's stitched together so perfectly that it almost looks real. Even at a time like this, she can pride herself on performing the right kind of smile. ]
Sorry. I really did make a mess of this, huh? Ah, but if it's healed now then I should be able to clean everything up when I'm done...
[ She's babbling. In her feeble attempt to make this all normal again, she's making things worse.
But she manages to peek up at his face. Her fingers in his shirt tighten just for a second, then... ]
... thank you.
[ She lets him go. ]
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He's completely silent as she lets him go. He keeps his hands tight to his sides, keeping them from reaching out and dragging her back into his arms whether she likes it or not.
This feeling... it hurts like hell.
But it's for the best. They both have things they need to do. Ai needs to clean herself up, Oberon needs to fortify their defenses... they can't stay
fallinglike that forever.Yet once Ai leaves, he can't help but put a hand up to his forehead and sigh. ]
...shit.
[ ...he should start setting up that bounded field now, shouldn't he? ]
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It's fine. She can make everything go back to normal in the morning. She's only feeling like this because she's so shaken up - they call that the suspension bridge effect, right? Confusing fear and alarm for excitement and something else. She's had plenty of the former this evening, so it wouldn't be a surprise.
She's telling herself things like that over and over as she washes, scrubbing her hair until her scalp aches and doing the same to her skin in all the places she still sees blood until she's red and raw. She thinks she still smells blood, so she pours every offensively scented product she can find over her body, citrus and strawberries, summer flowers and winter fruits until even she knows the last dregs of the heavy, coppery smell are only in her imagination.
It's almost an hour later that she finally emerges, dressed for bed and her hair still just damp enough to cling to her neck. She knows the smart thing to do is go right to bed and greet the morning while pretending none of this had happened, but...
If this evening has proven anything, it's that Ai's not particularly good at doing the smart thing. So, still pale and shaky, she makes her way back to the living room. Just to make sure things have calmed down, she tells herself. ]
Um... are you still here?
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The rain outside has slowed to a halt, no longer beating heavily against the windows. The sky is still dark, but it won't be long until it starts to brighten. They had fought late into the night, after all.
But none of that really matters, does it? He's not here. ]
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He said he was going to make sure they weren't followed. If she's still here and nothing has happened, then everything should be fine. She should just go to bed and when morning comes, everything will be just fine, right?
Hah. Even she's not that good of a liar. ]
Wh... where...
[ Again, that awful note of a plea in her voice. She tries to swallow it back but she can't.
As if on autopilot, Ai makes for the door quicker than she should. She fumbles to shove on a coat, stunbles into her shoes and then goes tripping out past the broken door as well. ]
Oberon! Where did you...?!
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Well, except for one thing... a single white moth perched on the hallway railing, as if waiting for her. A moth that Ai may have seen every now and then whenever Oberon was out and about as the Fairy King. Blanca was her name, wasn't it?
She stares at Ai briefly before her wings start to flutter, and she starts to fly towards the building stairs. Their apartment is already on the top floor of the building, there's really only one place the stairs can go from there. ]
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(What a joke.)
She goes stumbling up the stairs after the moth, taking them two at a time even as they catch her feet on the way up. She makes it up without any further incident, wretches the door to the roof open and goes staggering out into the cool night air without a bit of grace.
Blanca lead her up here. So surely Oberon has to be here too. If he's not, then what will she even do? ]
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