[ She continues falling, as if allowing her a few more moments in that peaceful darkness, broken only by the faint sounds of unfamiliar voices... until finally, abruptly, without even a landing... she's there.
Deep in within the woods, in a place far removed from anything she's seen in her life, even here in this strange Grail War... ]
When I was born, I couldn't even breathe.
Not so much as a single toe was truly alive.
[ For a second, what she sees can only be considered a beautiful sight. Laid on the ground amidst a beautiful forest was a pitiful, yet beautiful body. Basked in the morning sun's rays, surrounded by faeries. Faeries who had been bullied, persecuted, and had nowhere else to go. Faeries who believed, upon his appearance, to be that of their king. ]
KRSSTCH
[ An abrupt sound of static, and that image changed. ]
I was a rotten mass of fluid inside a chrysalis.
[ A body, thin and bony, more like a corpse than anything else... surrounded by insects that crawled and wriggled all over him. His body unmoving... no, incapable of movement. Incapable of breath. Incapable of even closing his eyes.
Information is given to her, as if it were being narrated to the audience of a play. He was born from Britain's death throes. A self-destruct device designed to destroy and take everything down with it. The embodiment of the island's own wishes... ]
KRSSTCH
[ ...taking the form of the perfect fairy-tale king, born in the perfect fairy-tale forest. The Fairy King as depicted by a famous, talented, mean-spirited author. For as long as they're born from people's desires, it doesn't matter whether the original is real or fake.
But in reality, this "Oberon" pretending to be a king was a creature composed entirely of lies.
Everything he says is untrue thanks to the underlying premise that it was all just part of a single night's revelry. A Midsummer Night's Dream, so to speak. ]
Wow, this is amazing. Everything I say or do ultimately becomes twisted.
[ "I love you" becomes "I don't love you". "I don't love you" becomes "I don't even care about you."
It's not so simple as everything becoming the opposite of what he says. No, it goes further than that. His words are simply undeserving of the truth... therefore, whatever he says must be a lie. A twisted existence, more trouble than it's worth. ]
[ The cool grass of the forest crunches softly under her bare feet. She knows without knowing, without even having to look, how she must be dressed; that white dress, that charcoal black sweater. Why would she look any other way in here? For all the time that has passed and all that's happened, Ai has never really left that hallway.
It's like being the unwilling participant of some miserable tragedy. A play nobody wants to perform in but find themselves trapped on stage anyway. Skittering bugs, the wet and rotting fluid of an insect's metamorphosis. Something moulded into the form of a human and forced to play pretend. A living corpse, fooling everyone into thinking its heart was ever even beating.
... Oh.
Oh, but of course- ]
Aah... Ahaha...!
[ She'd wondered from the start just what it had been that'd drawn them together. They were both liars, of course, but surely there was more to it than that. He was so powerful and so bitterly cold, unlike Ai in just about every way he could be... But she's been wrong all this time, hasn't she?
They're the same. Of course they're the same.
What is she herself if not a corpse pretending it's still living?
Something inside of her breaks. Laughter spills out of her mouth. But even as she raises her hands to her face, her voice shudders to pieces and the noise that had come out of her as laughing turns to horrible, heaving sobs instead.
She doesn't know how long it lasts. Standing in that nonexistent wood, she cries bitter, open mouthed tears for - she doesn't know what. An ancient creature born hating itself to death. A country screaming for mercy, for suicide. A priestess reduced to a slaughter animal, two girls hated and rejected by the land they were sent to grant salvation.
Maybe for the first time, she cries for herself. For the mother bleeding out in her own home and the two children whose lives will carry the reek of her corpse forever. ]
Oberon... Oberon, I...
[ Her voice comes out in gasping, desperate breaths. ]
Me too... ahaha... All this time... I've been dead all this time too.
[ There's a reason he didn't want to do this. Didn't want her to understand. Yet that irrational part in him that she dragged to the surface let her anyway.
As she says those words, that she's been dead all this time, he appears next to her with the sound of crunching leaves. ]
...
[ It's truly no wonder he was summoned by her. No wonder why he had no choice but to answer her call.
He puts his hand around Ai's shoulder and pulls her in, wordless for now. ]
[ And at last, Ai doesn't resist. Even if she'd wanted to, she doesn't have the strength. The least dregs of her restraint had flowed out with her tears and all she can do is throw her arms around him and let herself cry into his chest.
She's shocked to feel there are any tears still left in her. Surely they should have run dry but - now that she's started, she doesn't quite know how to stop. ]
Don't disappear. [ Now more than ever, through her tears, it's an utterly desperate plea. It's more true than it's ever been. ] Please, don't go. I'm- I'm irresponsible and I'm dirty, I'm hopeless as a Master. I'm no good as a person. I know all that, but I...
[ Her wish. Her precious treasures. The one thing a corpse like her can never get back. ]
[ Well, it's a dream, after all. Where else will Ai be able to cry as much as she needs to... then here? His arms wrap around her and hold her tight, letting her cry into his chest so that she can't see the pained expression on his face.
Yet again, he's allowed this to spiral out of control. He's forced her to see the gruesome parts of himself, his gruesome origins, the truth of why he—a Pretender—was summoned by her. Her tears... they are the product of her mask finally coming apart, yet... hurting her like this brings him no joy.
"This is the end, right? What's the harm in being honest with me about how you feel now?"
"Are you kidding me!? You really are an idiot, aren't you? Even I'm not this bad. I've met insects with better memories than you."
"Hey, you're the one who said you're a liar, right?"
"..."
Damn it, to be thinking of that at a time like this... he can already picture the infuriating smile that would be on that girl's face if she were to see him now. ]
...I won't.
[ He holds her tight, one hand on her back, the other on the back of her head. ]
I won't disappear... I...
[ His words catch in his throat, as if the feeling of the truth in his mouth feels wrong, but he presses on. ]
I won't let that be your truth... [ He won't let her be like him. ] I will grant your wish, no matter what...
[ He won't let anyone else do it. He will grant her wish, no matter what. He won't let her remain like him, he won't let that be true. ]
[ A huge shudder wracks her whole body. Impossibly, her arms draw even tighter around him. Her legs feel weak - if he wasn't holding her, she's certain she wouldn't still be standing.
She's selfish. She's greedy and shortsighted. She's always known that. But it's because she's all those things, desperately clawing to try and find some semblance of happiness, that she's wanted someone to say those words to her all this time. That it's okay. That her wish, the thing she wants more than anything - she can have it. They'll do it for her.
Her tears haven't stopped flowing, running rivers down her cheeks and flooding her throat. But instead of despair or sorrow, they've taken on the hue of something brighter and cleaner, different in tone but just as all-encompassing and intense.
When her voice finally surfaces again, it's with the gasping cadence of a drowning woman. ]
I don't need anything else. I don't. I just want to go back. I want to see them grow up and know who'll they'll be and I-
[ Another shudder. ]
I don't need you to say anything else but... will you promise me that I can? Even if it's not true? ... Can you promise that you won't hate me?
[ He's silent at first, but then he rests his chin on her head, now as close as he can possibly be. ]
...I can only say it once, so listen up.
[ He grips her tight, refusing to let her go. ]
I promise... you can go back. I promise I will never hate you...
[ His words catch in his throat again, his honesty still feeling wrong on his tongue, even in a dream... but... ]
...even if the world itself should dare to say otherwise, I will refuse... I will destroy anything that dares to say you can't.
[ For that is what he is, after all. A world destroyer, a destiny of destruction incarnate... dedicated to a single girl, a mother who simply wants to see her children grow up. ]
[ A pause. A wet, shuddering breath to try and get her tears under control. And finally; ]
. . . Okay. [ Again, as her fingers curl into his cloak. ] Okay.
[ She'd be more of a liar than she always is if she tried to say she wasn't scared. Giving up is easy. Giving up means you can't be disappointed. If he promises he can do this for her, then that means she has to hope again - and that hope could just as easily come crashing back down. She doesn't know what she'd do if it did.
Maybe it's because neither of them can lie here. But somehow... just this once, Ai wants to believe him. ]
[ The truth can be such a pain, Oberon thinks. He's spoken his conviction, his resolve... but now he has to ensure that his words become the truth, ensure that they don't become a lie. He can't die, he can't disappear, not until her wish has been granted.
The world around them begins to fade, the wind picking up as the bright pink sky fades to black around them. The ground vanishes, and Ai starts to fall again...
...but this time, she falls with his arms still around her, holding her close as the curtain falls around them, fading into that same comforting darkness.
As they do...
"What is it you want, Oberon?"
"...I'm looking for Titania. Remember? Oberon's queen from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'? Titania, the Faerie Queen. The only one who could ever love the obstinate Oberon. I'm hoping to see her, if I can. Though of course... I know that's impossible. Titania's a fictional character, she doesn't exist in Proper Human History. She can only ever exist within the confines of a story."
Perhaps it's just a leakage, memories and words leaking out as the dream comes to an end, but...
"Everything I say is a lie. You shouldn't believe any of it. Peace in Britain... Artoria's mission... I didn't care about any of it."
"I'm sure you didn't, but even so... what about your own star, Titania?"
"...That is exactly what I hate about you."
Titania. His queen... and yet he has no queen, for Titania doesn't exist. Yet still he searches, for he can't help but search... for the one who can love even the twisted Oberon.
And that's the last thing she hears before waking up... her head on Oberon's lap, having cried just as much in reality as she did in the dream. ]
[ When her eyes open, Ai feels entirely different. She feels no different at all. She feels worn down to the bone and well rested all at once. Her eyelashes are still wet with tears and she has the brief, foolish thought of how strange it is that the tears she cried in a dream would have soaked her face in reality as well.
She stays where she is for a long, quiet moment, her head still spinning and her heart still lodged in her throat. It really does seem too good and too awful to be true all at once and she can't quite make herself believe she'd seen or heard any of it.
Me too. I've been dead all this time too.
What a miserable tragedy. It even moved a corpse to tears.
Finally, slowly, Ai sits up. As she rights herself on the sofa, a few remaining tears break free and make their way down her face but she dries them with a swipe of her sleeve over her eyes. ]
... You're horrible, you know. Horrible. Making a girl cry like this.
[ It's a joke to try and break the tension, even if she can practically feel how flat it falls. Even after all that - or maybe especially after all that - she can't quite bring herself to meet his gaze just yet.
She wonders just what sort of face she'd made as she cried. ]
[ It falls so flat. In fact, it's so bad, that Oberon can't help but let out a dry laugh in response. ]
Hah... well, if you expected anything else from me, then that's a damn shame.
[ Part of him still wonders if he made a mistake, if he yet again let his emotions get the better of him and do something even though he knew he shouldn't.
Why had he done it? Was it because of what she said? "Right. It must sound easy to someone like you"? Well, of course it sounds easy to him. Compared to him, who lives with a curse rooted at the very premise of his existence, a fundamental "rule" that everything Obeorn the Faerie King says is something that was never worth believing...
Was that really all it took to get him to finally make her understand? Even if it required her to see the grim nature of his birth? Understand exactly why it was him that she summoned instead of anybody else?
[ Another dry laugh. What a fucking mess they are, huh? You'd think that a summoning based entirely on compatibility would have better results, but apparently even that can backfire, huh? ]
Hmph... my sincerest apologies about that.
[ They probably went a little further in terms of talking than Nagiko wanted, and whether that was a good thing or not is still up for debate, but...
...god he wants to avoid it. It might even be easier to avoid it than he thinks. Things are emotionally charged enough as is, after all. Why make it worse?
"I mean, next time someone picks a fight - 'cause it's gonna happen, guaranteed - what're you gonna do about your magic? You can't ask for another Command Spell if she's only got the one, so whatever else you had to do, it's not gonna be a one off! Didya even think about that for a second?"
"Don't disappear. Please, don't go. I'm- I'm irresponsible and I'm dirty, I'm hopeless as a Master. I'm no good as a person. I know all that, but I..."
...god, this is the worst. ]
...
[ ...it's even worse that he has no idea how to fucking start that conversation. ]
[ He's not sorry at all. She'd be able to guess that no matter how good he was at lying. Whatever that was, it was a convenient enough excuse to not talk about the thing they were supposed to talk about, wasn't it?
... How are they supposed to now? Now that she's fully bled her heart out all over him? Now that she knows -
Well. She's going to do her best to not think too hard about all of that. Just because she's done her best to understand doesn't mean she has to like all of what she's come to know.
(Besides. Even if he was stupid enough to ask, the last thing someone like Ai could give him - or anyone - is love.)
(Somehow, thinking about it like that makes it easier to start talking.) ]
We can try... other ways.
[ She blurts it out quick, like she wants to get it said before she loses her nerve. ]
There have to be others. I know Nagiko-chan and Hibiki-chan have something that works for them, so...
[ Surely there must be plenty of pairs in the same situation - compatible as Master and Servant but not necessarily as people. At least not like that. ]
I'll figure... something out. I won't let you disappear.
[ They are the most infuriating pair, aren't they? Sure, they'll bleed their hearts all over each other, but actual intimacy? Terrifying. ]
Oi, you better not start thinking of those two as the standard. Their whole deal makes no goddamn sense, even to me.
[ The lie being that Oberon has some idea of how it works. It's clearly something on her Master's end, whose abilities are already ridiculous and unlike anything he's seen before. Still, that just reinforces the fact that it's far from the norm.
Still, he looks at her again, turning silent at her words. She'll figure something out? Don't make him laugh. Even he can see the fruitlessness of that. Granted, it's not like he of all people should discount the possibility, but... ]
...and how long will that take?
[ He won't disappear. He can't disappear. That was his promise, his oath to her. Loathe as he is to admit it, especially concerning an author, but Nagiko is right. What will he do when shit goes south again? Something that's guaranteed to happen eventually no matter what. He must win, he must continue to win so that Ai's wish is granted... but he can't do that right now.
...should he just take her, right here, right now? The thought is so repulsive it almost makes him laugh. That's probably the exact opposite Nagiko would have wanted to happen when she talked to them both. ]
[ At the sound of her name, she flinches a bit and falls silent. She ducks her head a little - she can't bear to meet that piercing gaze of his, especially not right now. Not when she knows that he's right.
She might be an idol, but it's not like she's pure. She's told him over and over by now that she's dirty and hopeless and if he can see through her that clearly, he must have some idea of what that means.
And it's not like selling off her body to anyone who'll have it is new to her. Just how much money has Strawberry Productions made off the promise of her hands, her smile, a few minutes worth of basking in her presence? That process of buying and selling pretend intimacy is exactly what being an idol is about. Isn't this just more of the same? A necessary transaction of intimacy? ]
I...
[ So why is she hesitating? ]
I know. I don't know. [ an empty, self defeating answer. ] I mean...
[ She swallows hard. ]
We both know it won't stop there. It won't be that easy.
[ It's disgusting. All of it. The idea that he's taking part in just another transaction. To be compared to every other disgusting human being who's taken part in exactly that makes him want to puke. Threatening to throw up in disgust is a common thing for Oberon to say, but he well and truly means it regarding that.
On the other hand, though, who the hell does she think she's talking to right now? She knows what he is now. You can call him whatever you want... doomsday device, a force of nature, the death throes of a long-dead country... well, all of those are true. But at the end of the day, he's just an insect born from sludge.
With that in mind, something pure would be too good for him anyway, right? ]
Yeah...
[ She doesn't have to worry about meeting his gaze. He's looking down, unable to bring himself to meet her gaze either. ]
...I still think you shouldn't. Not with me. However, to keep my words from becoming lies...
[ He can't allow himself to fall. He can't allow himself to disappear. Not until her wish is granted. ]
[ Her heart lurches, so hard that it makes her words stumble as they come out of her. ]
I- r-right now is -
[ Not while her face is still wet with tears. Not while she's so fragile, whether he's rough or gentle with her, she'll certainly break.
But it's not a rejection. And for the first time, it's not quite a retreat, either. Not now isn't not ever.
It takes a second for her to steady her wavering breath - but once she does, she inches a little closer to him on the sofa, just barely enough for their knees to touch and hesitantly peeks up at him.
He's pale. Sickly looking. Like her, he's a thing walking around just tricking his heart into beating. But from up close, he looks just like any other person. ]
[ He doesn't retreat either... and as she nervously peeks up at him, she'll find him doing the same. Is that shyness in his expression? Of all expressions to be on his face, that's the one he has? Shut up, he can't help it.
He meets her gaze, his cold blue eyes somehow less piercing than usual... maybe because right now, there isn't as much for it to pierce through. ]
...I got scolded for that, you know.
[ Well, lightly scolded, but it'll definitely be more than that if he bites open her lip again while it's barely even healed from the last time.
[ Her breath comes out in a soft laugh and her mouth settles into a smile. It's still hesitant, still unsure - but it's a proper smile. ]
It was kind of your fault.
[ She turns to face him properly, pulling her legs up under herself on the sofa so she can rise up just a little to meet him. Her hands drift up and after just a moment of hesitation, they cradle his face.
Jeez. She's acting like a schoolgirl fluttering over her first kiss. What does it say about her that this was easier when it was pure necessity?
She swallows again, as if the taste of blood still sits on her tongue and before either of them can flinch or second guess themselves again, she leans the rest of the way in and kisses him. ]
[ Her hands cradle his face, soft hands on pale skin, and his voice can only trail off as he looks down at her.
The feeling is mutual, if it makes Ai feel any better. How embarrassing is it that he feels like his heart is beating out of his chest like a hormonal teenage boy?
His breath hitches, and suddenly, their lips are against one another once again. ]
Nn...
[ Aah... he's so, so fucked.
For a moment, it's actually a normal kiss. His lips press against hers, and he can feel the way her lip had begun to heal from the abuse they had both done to it the other night. At first, he shows mercy... allowing himself to lean in and return the kiss.
But of course, eventually, it happens. She knew what Oberon was going to do, and Oberon managed to find some delight to take away from doing it.
After kissing her gently, indulging in the simplicity of just kissing without thinking of the underlying need to transfer mana for just a brief moment... he bites her lip, immediately undoing all of the natural healing it had been doing all day.
Fucked up couple has to have a fucked up kiss, Nagiko. ]
[ Honestly, doing it like this is a little scary. If it's just a normal kiss then it's a little too close to admitting that they both want it for the sake of wanting it and nothing else. Not that there's any point in pretending that's not the case anymore.
So it's almost a relief when his teeth catch on her lip. The skin is tender enough that it immediately splits and Ai makes a thin noise - a sharp little inhalation that's only mostly a protest.
Only mostly because even she can hear that it sounds a little... needy, too. As embarrassing as that is.
Their lips part, but only for a moment. She doesn't go far - she's close enough that when she lets out a little huff of annoyance, her breath puffs against his mouth. ]
... At least warn me before you do that.
[ Not that it seems she's all that annoyed because she's going right back in for another kiss. This time, her blood isn't quite so bitter, somehow. ]
[ The noise she makes... Oberon may feel like a schoolboy with the way he's handling this kiss mentally, but he can still hear the neediness in the noise that she makes, and unfortunately... it really does something for him. ]
...what, and spoil the surprise?
[ Maybe if he wasn't busy giving her a retort, he'd have been more prepared when she immediately goes back in for another... to which he can only respond in-kind as he finds himself leaning backwards as the kiss intensifies. Their tongues mingle, he can taste her blood once more, and he can feel the mana that flows into his pitifully-empty container again.
His arms wrap around her and pull her in, holding her close as he drinks the blood that flows from her lip... even going as far as to bite her lip again, this time aiming for a spot that hadn't been split open so as to mark them even further. ]
[ She'd thought it was embarrassing enough the first time around, doing this where just about anyone could see them but as it turns out, this is so much worse. At least then, there was every excuse to not escalate things but if it's just the two of them, then what excuse can she even make? Especially now she's practically in his lap - h-hold on, when exactly did that happen?! - and he's kissing her so hard it feels like all the breath is being pulled out of her lungs.
Another bite. This time, the noise that wells up from her throat breaks into a whine. ]
Oberon... [ It bleeds into her voice, too. She wonders just how it sounds to him - because she certainly can't tell if it's protest or encouragement. ] That hurts.
[ He's definitely getting greedy but the prospect of him being greedy for her... isn't the worst thing in the world. ]
[ The more he indulges, the more he feels his control slipping. It showed in the first bite, and it's showing even more now with the second. She keeps on saying she's dirty, that she's hopeless, yet here he is... unable to contain himself, wanting her all for himself.
The whine she makes... whether it's protest or encouragement, it doesn't really matter. It's just one more thing that's pushing him over the edge. Maybe it's a given that he, a dirty existence in his own right, would want her so badly.
In that brief moment of separation, he can't help but grin smugly... as if to say "what are you going to do about it?" All while taking in her blood and the mana that comes with it. ]
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no subject
Deep in within the woods, in a place far removed from anything she's seen in her life, even here in this strange Grail War... ]
When I was born, I couldn't even breathe.
Not so much as a single toe was truly alive.
[ For a second, what she sees can only be considered a beautiful sight. Laid on the ground amidst a beautiful forest was a pitiful, yet beautiful body. Basked in the morning sun's rays, surrounded by faeries. Faeries who had been bullied, persecuted, and had nowhere else to go. Faeries who believed, upon his appearance, to be that of their king. ]
KRSSTCH
[ An abrupt sound of static, and that image changed. ]
I was a rotten mass of fluid inside a chrysalis.
[ A body, thin and bony, more like a corpse than anything else... surrounded by insects that crawled and wriggled all over him. His body unmoving... no, incapable of movement. Incapable of breath. Incapable of even closing his eyes.
Information is given to her, as if it were being narrated to the audience of a play. He was born from Britain's death throes. A self-destruct device designed to destroy and take everything down with it. The embodiment of the island's own wishes... ]
KRSSTCH
[ ...taking the form of the perfect fairy-tale king, born in the perfect fairy-tale forest. The Fairy King as depicted by a famous, talented, mean-spirited author. For as long as they're born from people's desires, it doesn't matter whether the original is real or fake.
But in reality, this "Oberon" pretending to be a king was a creature composed entirely of lies.
Everything he says is untrue thanks to the underlying premise that it was all just part of a single night's revelry. A Midsummer Night's Dream, so to speak. ]
Wow, this is amazing. Everything I say or do ultimately becomes twisted.
[ "I love you" becomes "I don't love you". "I don't love you" becomes "I don't even care about you."
It's not so simple as everything becoming the opposite of what he says. No, it goes further than that. His words are simply undeserving of the truth... therefore, whatever he says must be a lie. A twisted existence, more trouble than it's worth. ]
no subject
It's like being the unwilling participant of some miserable tragedy. A play nobody wants to perform in but find themselves trapped on stage anyway. Skittering bugs, the wet and rotting fluid of an insect's metamorphosis. Something moulded into the form of a human and forced to play pretend. A living corpse, fooling everyone into thinking its heart was ever even beating.
... Oh.
Oh, but of course- ]
Aah... Ahaha...!
[ She'd wondered from the start just what it had been that'd drawn them together. They were both liars, of course, but surely there was more to it than that. He was so powerful and so bitterly cold, unlike Ai in just about every way he could be... But she's been wrong all this time, hasn't she?
They're the same. Of course they're the same.
What is she herself if not a corpse pretending it's still living?
Something inside of her breaks. Laughter spills out of her mouth. But even as she raises her hands to her face, her voice shudders to pieces and the noise that had come out of her as laughing turns to horrible, heaving sobs instead.
She doesn't know how long it lasts. Standing in that nonexistent wood, she cries bitter, open mouthed tears for - she doesn't know what. An ancient creature born hating itself to death. A country screaming for mercy, for suicide. A priestess reduced to a slaughter animal, two girls hated and rejected by the land they were sent to grant salvation.
Maybe for the first time, she cries for herself. For the mother bleeding out in her own home and the two children whose lives will carry the reek of her corpse forever. ]
Oberon... Oberon, I...
[ Her voice comes out in gasping, desperate breaths. ]
Me too... ahaha... All this time... I've been dead all this time too.
no subject
As she says those words, that she's been dead all this time, he appears next to her with the sound of crunching leaves. ]
...
[ It's truly no wonder he was summoned by her. No wonder why he had no choice but to answer her call.
He puts his hand around Ai's shoulder and pulls her in, wordless for now. ]
no subject
She's shocked to feel there are any tears still left in her. Surely they should have run dry but - now that she's started, she doesn't quite know how to stop. ]
Don't disappear. [ Now more than ever, through her tears, it's an utterly desperate plea. It's more true than it's ever been. ] Please, don't go. I'm- I'm irresponsible and I'm dirty, I'm hopeless as a Master. I'm no good as a person. I know all that, but I...
[ Her wish. Her precious treasures. The one thing a corpse like her can never get back. ]
Oberon... Please help me.
no subject
Yet again, he's allowed this to spiral out of control. He's forced her to see the gruesome parts of himself, his gruesome origins, the truth of why he—a Pretender—was summoned by her. Her tears... they are the product of her mask finally coming apart, yet... hurting her like this brings him no joy.
"This is the end, right? What's the harm in being honest with me about how you feel now?"
"Are you kidding me!? You really are an idiot, aren't you? Even I'm not this bad. I've met insects with better memories than you."
"Hey, you're the one who said you're a liar, right?"
"..."
Damn it, to be thinking of that at a time like this... he can already picture the infuriating smile that would be on that girl's face if she were to see him now. ]
...I won't.
[ He holds her tight, one hand on her back, the other on the back of her head. ]
I won't disappear... I...
[ His words catch in his throat, as if the feeling of the truth in his mouth feels wrong, but he presses on. ]
I won't let that be your truth... [ He won't let her be like him. ] I will grant your wish, no matter what...
[ He won't let anyone else do it. He will grant her wish, no matter what. He won't let her remain like him, he won't let that be true. ]
no subject
She's selfish. She's greedy and shortsighted. She's always known that. But it's because she's all those things, desperately clawing to try and find some semblance of happiness, that she's wanted someone to say those words to her all this time. That it's okay. That her wish, the thing she wants more than anything - she can have it. They'll do it for her.
Her tears haven't stopped flowing, running rivers down her cheeks and flooding her throat. But instead of despair or sorrow, they've taken on the hue of something brighter and cleaner, different in tone but just as all-encompassing and intense.
When her voice finally surfaces again, it's with the gasping cadence of a drowning woman. ]
I don't need anything else. I don't. I just want to go back. I want to see them grow up and know who'll they'll be and I-
[ Another shudder. ]
I don't need you to say anything else but... will you promise me that I can? Even if it's not true? ... Can you promise that you won't hate me?
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...I can only say it once, so listen up.
[ He grips her tight, refusing to let her go. ]
I promise... you can go back. I promise I will never hate you...
[ His words catch in his throat again, his honesty still feeling wrong on his tongue, even in a dream... but... ]
...even if the world itself should dare to say otherwise, I will refuse... I will destroy anything that dares to say you can't.
[ For that is what he is, after all. A world destroyer, a destiny of destruction incarnate... dedicated to a single girl, a mother who simply wants to see her children grow up. ]
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. . . Okay. [ Again, as her fingers curl into his cloak. ] Okay.
[ She'd be more of a liar than she always is if she tried to say she wasn't scared. Giving up is easy. Giving up means you can't be disappointed. If he promises he can do this for her, then that means she has to hope again - and that hope could just as easily come crashing back down. She doesn't know what she'd do if it did.
Maybe it's because neither of them can lie here. But somehow... just this once, Ai wants to believe him. ]
Then it's a promise.
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[ The truth can be such a pain, Oberon thinks. He's spoken his conviction, his resolve... but now he has to ensure that his words become the truth, ensure that they don't become a lie. He can't die, he can't disappear, not until her wish has been granted.
The world around them begins to fade, the wind picking up as the bright pink sky fades to black around them. The ground vanishes, and Ai starts to fall again...
...but this time, she falls with his arms still around her, holding her close as the curtain falls around them, fading into that same comforting darkness.
As they do...
"What is it you want, Oberon?"
"...I'm looking for Titania. Remember? Oberon's queen from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'? Titania, the Faerie Queen. The only one who could ever love the obstinate Oberon. I'm hoping to see her, if I can. Though of course... I know that's impossible. Titania's a fictional character, she doesn't exist in Proper Human History. She can only ever exist within the confines of a story."
Perhaps it's just a leakage, memories and words leaking out as the dream comes to an end, but...
"Everything I say is a lie. You shouldn't believe any of it. Peace in Britain... Artoria's mission... I didn't care about any of it."
"I'm sure you didn't, but even so... what about your own star, Titania?"
"...That is exactly what I hate about you."
Titania. His queen... and yet he has no queen, for Titania doesn't exist. Yet still he searches, for he can't help but search... for the one who can love even the twisted Oberon.
And that's the last thing she hears before waking up... her head on Oberon's lap, having cried just as much in reality as she did in the dream. ]
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She stays where she is for a long, quiet moment, her head still spinning and her heart still lodged in her throat. It really does seem too good and too awful to be true all at once and she can't quite make herself believe she'd seen or heard any of it.
Me too. I've been dead all this time too.
What a miserable tragedy. It even moved a corpse to tears.
Finally, slowly, Ai sits up. As she rights herself on the sofa, a few remaining tears break free and make their way down her face but she dries them with a swipe of her sleeve over her eyes. ]
... You're horrible, you know. Horrible. Making a girl cry like this.
[ It's a joke to try and break the tension, even if she can practically feel how flat it falls. Even after all that - or maybe especially after all that - she can't quite bring herself to meet his gaze just yet.
She wonders just what sort of face she'd made as she cried. ]
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Hah... well, if you expected anything else from me, then that's a damn shame.
[ Part of him still wonders if he made a mistake, if he yet again let his emotions get the better of him and do something even though he knew he shouldn't.
Why had he done it? Was it because of what she said? "Right. It must sound easy to someone like you"? Well, of course it sounds easy to him. Compared to him, who lives with a curse rooted at the very premise of his existence, a fundamental "rule" that everything Obeorn the Faerie King says is something that was never worth believing...
Was that really all it took to get him to finally make her understand? Even if it required her to see the grim nature of his birth? Understand exactly why it was him that she summoned instead of anybody else?
He's still not sure. ]
...I won't say those words again.
[ "You know why." ]
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[ Her mouth struggles to make the shape of a smile. It's a visible effort and it comes out worn and lopsided but somehow, it's not remotely a lie.
The movement makes the mark on her lip pull tight and she wonders - had it been there while she'd cried in that dream, too?
But she supposes it doesn't matter. ]
If you say so. ... You're just as bad as me, you know.
[ Somehow, it comes out sounding like a compliment. Not that she'd ever wish being like her on anybody else.
She rubs her face with her sleeves again - her eyes are sore and puffy, her cheeks still wet - and finally, she manages to look up at him.
No wonder she'd always felt like she was being flayed alive in his gaze. She's never hated anything more than meeting her eyes in a mirror. ]
Aah... This probably isn't what Nagiko-chan wanted when she told us to talk.
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Hmph... my sincerest apologies about that.
[ They probably went a little further in terms of talking than Nagiko wanted, and whether that was a good thing or not is still up for debate, but...
...god he wants to avoid it. It might even be easier to avoid it than he thinks. Things are emotionally charged enough as is, after all. Why make it worse?
"I mean, next time someone picks a fight - 'cause it's gonna happen, guaranteed - what're you gonna do about your magic? You can't ask for another Command Spell if she's only got the one, so whatever else you had to do, it's not gonna be a one off! Didya even think about that for a second?"
"Don't disappear. Please, don't go. I'm- I'm irresponsible and I'm dirty, I'm hopeless as a Master. I'm no good as a person. I know all that, but I..."
...god, this is the worst. ]
...
[ ...it's even worse that he has no idea how to fucking start that conversation. ]
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... How are they supposed to now? Now that she's fully bled her heart out all over him? Now that she knows -
Well. She's going to do her best to not think too hard about all of that. Just because she's done her best to understand doesn't mean she has to like all of what she's come to know.
(Besides. Even if he was stupid enough to ask, the last thing someone like Ai could give him - or anyone - is love.)
(Somehow, thinking about it like that makes it easier to start talking.) ]
We can try... other ways.
[ She blurts it out quick, like she wants to get it said before she loses her nerve. ]
There have to be others. I know Nagiko-chan and Hibiki-chan have something that works for them, so...
[ Surely there must be plenty of pairs in the same situation - compatible as Master and Servant but not necessarily as people. At least not like that. ]
I'll figure... something out. I won't let you disappear.
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Oi, you better not start thinking of those two as the standard. Their whole deal makes no goddamn sense, even to me.
[ The lie being that Oberon has some idea of how it works. It's clearly something on her Master's end, whose abilities are already ridiculous and unlike anything he's seen before. Still, that just reinforces the fact that it's far from the norm.
Still, he looks at her again, turning silent at her words. She'll figure something out? Don't make him laugh. Even he can see the fruitlessness of that. Granted, it's not like he of all people should discount the possibility, but... ]
...and how long will that take?
[ He won't disappear. He can't disappear. That was his promise, his oath to her. Loathe as he is to admit it, especially concerning an author, but Nagiko is right. What will he do when shit goes south again? Something that's guaranteed to happen eventually no matter what. He must win, he must continue to win so that Ai's wish is granted... but he can't do that right now.
...should he just take her, right here, right now? The thought is so repulsive it almost makes him laugh. That's probably the exact opposite Nagiko would have wanted to happen when she talked to them both. ]
...Ai.
[ They can't keep going like this... ]
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She might be an idol, but it's not like she's pure. She's told him over and over by now that she's dirty and hopeless and if he can see through her that clearly, he must have some idea of what that means.
And it's not like selling off her body to anyone who'll have it is new to her. Just how much money has Strawberry Productions made off the promise of her hands, her smile, a few minutes worth of basking in her presence? That process of buying and selling pretend intimacy is exactly what being an idol is about. Isn't this just more of the same? A necessary transaction of intimacy? ]
I...
[ So why is she hesitating? ]
I know. I don't know. [ an empty, self defeating answer. ] I mean...
[ She swallows hard. ]
We both know it won't stop there. It won't be that easy.
[ "It won't be just mana transfer." ]
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On the other hand, though, who the hell does she think she's talking to right now? She knows what he is now. You can call him whatever you want... doomsday device, a force of nature, the death throes of a long-dead country... well, all of those are true. But at the end of the day, he's just an insect born from sludge.
With that in mind, something pure would be too good for him anyway, right? ]
Yeah...
[ She doesn't have to worry about meeting his gaze. He's looking down, unable to bring himself to meet her gaze either. ]
...I still think you shouldn't. Not with me. However, to keep my words from becoming lies...
[ He can't allow himself to fall. He can't allow himself to disappear. Not until her wish is granted. ]
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I- r-right now is -
[ Not while her face is still wet with tears. Not while she's so fragile, whether he's rough or gentle with her, she'll certainly break.
But it's not a rejection. And for the first time, it's not quite a retreat, either. Not now isn't not ever.
It takes a second for her to steady her wavering breath - but once she does, she inches a little closer to him on the sofa, just barely enough for their knees to touch and hesitantly peeks up at him.
He's pale. Sickly looking. Like her, he's a thing walking around just tricking his heart into beating. But from up close, he looks just like any other person. ]
... It worked last time, so...
[ That messy kiss, tinged with her blood. ]
... Let me try it again.
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Shut up, he can't help it.He meets her gaze, his cold blue eyes somehow less piercing than usual... maybe because right now, there isn't as much for it to pierce through. ]
...I got scolded for that, you know.
[ Well, lightly scolded, but it'll definitely be more than that if he bites open her lip again while it's barely even healed from the last time.
Heh. Sounds fun, actually.]...so you had better take the blame this time.
[
Take that, Sei Shounagon.]no subject
[ Her breath comes out in a soft laugh and her mouth settles into a smile. It's still hesitant, still unsure - but it's a proper smile. ]
It was kind of your fault.
[ She turns to face him properly, pulling her legs up under herself on the sofa so she can rise up just a little to meet him. Her hands drift up and after just a moment of hesitation, they cradle his face.
Jeez. She's acting like a schoolgirl fluttering over her first kiss. What does it say about her that this was easier when it was pure necessity?
She swallows again, as if the taste of blood still sits on her tongue and before either of them can flinch or second guess themselves again, she leans the rest of the way in and kisses him. ]
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[ Her hands cradle his face, soft hands on pale skin, and his voice can only trail off as he looks down at her.
The feeling is mutual, if it makes Ai feel any better. How embarrassing is it that he feels like his heart is beating out of his chest like a hormonal teenage boy?
His breath hitches, and suddenly, their lips are against one another once again. ]
Nn...
[ Aah... he's so, so fucked.
For a moment, it's actually a normal kiss. His lips press against hers, and he can feel the way her lip had begun to heal from the abuse they had both done to it the other night. At first, he shows mercy... allowing himself to lean in and return the kiss.
But of course, eventually, it happens. She knew what Oberon was going to do, and Oberon managed to find some delight to take away from doing it.
After kissing her gently, indulging in the simplicity of just kissing without thinking of the underlying need to transfer mana for just a brief moment... he bites her lip, immediately undoing all of the natural healing it had been doing all day.
Fucked up couple has to have a fucked up kiss, Nagiko.]no subject
So it's almost a relief when his teeth catch on her lip. The skin is tender enough that it immediately splits and Ai makes a thin noise - a sharp little inhalation that's only mostly a protest.
Only mostly because even she can hear that it sounds a little... needy, too. As embarrassing as that is.
Their lips part, but only for a moment. She doesn't go far - she's close enough that when she lets out a little huff of annoyance, her breath puffs against his mouth. ]
... At least warn me before you do that.
[ Not that it seems she's all that annoyed because she's going right back in for another kiss. This time, her blood isn't quite so bitter, somehow. ]
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...what, and spoil the surprise?
[ Maybe if he wasn't busy giving her a retort, he'd have been more prepared when she immediately goes back in for another... to which he can only respond in-kind as he finds himself leaning backwards as the kiss intensifies. Their tongues mingle, he can taste her blood once more, and he can feel the mana that flows into his pitifully-empty container again.
His arms wrap around her and pull her in, holding her close as he drinks the blood that flows from her lip... even going as far as to bite her lip again, this time aiming for a spot that hadn't been split open so as to mark them even further. ]
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Another bite. This time, the noise that wells up from her throat breaks into a whine. ]
Oberon... [ It bleeds into her voice, too. She wonders just how it sounds to him - because she certainly can't tell if it's protest or encouragement. ] That hurts.
[ He's definitely getting greedy but the prospect of him being greedy for her... isn't the worst thing in the world. ]
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The whine she makes... whether it's protest or encouragement, it doesn't really matter. It's just one more thing that's pushing him over the edge. Maybe it's a given that he, a dirty existence in his own right, would want her so badly.
In that brief moment of separation, he can't help but grin smugly... as if to say "what are you going to do about it?" All while taking in her blood and the mana that comes with it. ]
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