[ . . . She could call that out as a lie as easily as anything. No matter how good he is at telling them, how could something like that be anything but a lie?
But she doesn't. Instead she huffs out a sigh and shakes her head. ]
Maybe it's good enough for you. But that's nowhere near good enough for me. Sorry to say, but my memory's actually pretty bad. So we'll have to do better than that.
[ Assuming they even get close to winning, of course. Oberon had promised and she believes him and yet... ]
I guess I'll have to figure out a really greedy wish.
[ He's glad she can't see his face like this, the way he bites his bottom lip. It was him who told her to be greedy, wasn't it? This is what he told her to be...
The idea of living out a proper life alongside the star he had considered to be forever out of his reach... it feels so ridiculous, so perfect that it hurts. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever wished for, everything he's always considered to be something he can never have.
It feels too good to be true. His kneejerk reaction is to deny it, but...
Chasing after a star that doesn't exist, that's all he's ever done, isn't it? ]
Damn it... what the hell...
[ His arms around her waist tighten so much it's bound to start hurting a little, but he can't help it. ]
[ It's a chance, that's all it is. Hell, there's also a chance that the grail isn't enough, or that there's something else in their way... but there's still a chance.
If nothing else, he wants to ensure that she regains her happiness as a mother. If that requires sacrificing her happiness as a Master, then he'll sacrifice that himself if she won't.
Even if that's at his expense... well, if he can bear with falling into an endless abyss, he can handle that as well. ]
Mm...
[ He'll chase that star, just as Artoria did... but if he can't reach it, then he'll at least cherish it while it's by his side.
Artoria's Autumn Memories... in place of "Merlin", there was at least Ector. With a grumpy old blacksmith at her side for the rest of her time in Tintagel, it's no wonder she got along with Muramasa... yet even that was a tragedy. ]
"Thanks, but no thanks. If I brought something of my own back, they'd just take it away again."
[ Arguably, it could be said that her Summer Memories were worse. She couldn't kill him, even though the Faeries demanded that of her. The town was burned to the ground, not even by Woodwose's hand, but by themselves... and in the end, even Ector was lost to her. ]
"Yes, that's right. Creating the holy sword's conceptual foundation will destroy everything she was, is, and ever will be. That is the faerie of paradise's duty, her function. And even then, the holy sword won't be easy to forge. Everything about her—every experience she's had, all her memories, even Spirit Origin, her very fate—will be used as materials to make it. It's not a sacrifice. It is an equivalent exchange... and it has to be her. It can't be anyone else."
[ And yet despite all of that, her Spring Memories... ]
"...I see. Well, that was easy, huh!? It was literally over before I knew it! So that's the Site of Selection on top of that hill, huh? Okay! Last one there's a rotten egg!"
"...I can't believe it. All those horrible memories, and even at the end, she...!"
"...I know. It just ain't right. But you know, Fujimaru, if nothing else, I'm glad you're so damn pissed off about it. So look. Whatever happens next, just let the old man here handle it."
[ There was no moment in her life when she was ever truly happy. Her spring memories were meant to be, as Merlin put it, "fun times and fun times only". The simple pleasures in her life, like feeling satisfied after a good meal... except she had none of those. Just moments that allowed her to cope with the pain, but the pain never stopped.
Her spring memories were the people in front of her... that's all. She would disappear just like that in order to create the Holy Sword, putting an end to this world and granting Chaldea a weapon to use against their true enemy. By every definition of the word, it was a tragedy. ]
"Yeah? Can't end things just yet then, can you?"
[ But at the very least, there was one person there able to give her a brief respite when no one else could. ]
"Don't worry about it. I'm doing this 'cause it's what I want, just like you. This was always my destiny. That said... I'm sorry I never got to make you that barrette."
Come on. Nobody really believes that. When girls bleed themselves dry with a smile, when they laugh and perform and put their hearts into everyone else's hands so it can be reduced to pulp, when they get absolutely nothing back from any of it - how exactly is that equivalent exchange? How exactly is that a fair trade?
Well. It's fair for everybody else. Acceptable collateral damage, if anyone even thinks about it at all. Farmers stop crying over sheep going to slaughter pretty quick if they even think to shed any tears at all, right? ]
She didn't even get to keep her memories to herself, huh. [ If it sounds bitter, it's because she is. ] They really wanted to take everything.
[ "That's just how it always goes." ]
... Have you ever seen any of mine like this? If I can peek in here at yours, then...
[ Just add it to the list of things Oberon doesn't like about Merlin. From an objective standpoint, he wasn't wrong. It was a Divine Construct being created, after all... and the highest grade of Divine Constructs, Excalibur, at that.
That didn't make him hate it any less. ]
...I have. The connection between Servant and Master means it's actually quite common for that kind of thing to bleed through in the form of dreams.
[ That night, that first night after her first experience in combat, that first time they started to bare their hearts to each other... he had seen it. ]
...he didn't deserve your love. You know that, right?
A gouging, gaping wound. Rusty pain, the coppery taste of blood in her teeth and the reek of it in her nose. A wretched, helpless sort of calm, a sense of surrender that call only be called despair.
Oh. That's not happening now, is it? Oberon's here. She's not even in her own home. When did she start gripping the front of her dress again? Everything's fine. It's a little hard to breathe properly. ]
... Maybe not.
[ Her voice is a little airy as she says it. Like her chest is constricted - or like all the air is bleeding out of her even as she pulls it in. ]
But that's why it's even more important that I try. Because if I can love somebody who doesn't deserve it, then it really would be the real thing, right? And maybe I could...
[ One arm remains wrapped around her waist, but the other comes up to rest on her head and pull her close. ]
Idiot...
[ She had already found "real" love with her children... and to the very end, she had been overflowing with it, hadn't she? And to say she was undeserving of it herself...
Well, it's not like he can talk in that regard, but... still... ]
[ Her breath comes out, soft and surprised. It strikes her that he's probably holding her much the same way in reality too and the realization gives her the strangest sense of deja-vu, or something like it. The itching, oozing pain in her stomach doesn't vanish, not quite, but it gradually eases into something tolerable she can more easily dismiss as the anxious reaction of her body it truly is.
Well, if she's already being this pathetic, she might as well really indulge.
She pulls her feet up - was she ever wearing shoes when she got here? she doesn't remember - and settles them onto the seat so she can tuck herself more tightly into him. For as clingy and needy for her touch as he'd been, Ai knows she's just as bad. ]
I don't think it was a mistake. [ Still in that low, airy voice. ] I'm glad that I tried. It meant I knew how to do it properly when the time finally came.
[ "You're an idiot, then" he thinks, but refrains from saying. He supposes this is one difference between them, then. Oberon was unworthy of love, so he rejected it... Hoshino Ai, meanwhile, gave it endlessly.
Well, he supposes it was very much her to do so... she had the benefit of being human, after all. Her words could become the truth, unlike his. ]
Well... you know love now, don't you? Save that kind of thing for them from now on...
Aah, you're right. Maybe I should. I owe it to them after I spent so long trying to work out how to say it. When I go back... I don't want them to wonder for a single moment. I want them to know for sure that I really do love them. This time, I want to make it really work. I want to be an idol and a mom and I don't care who fights me about it.
[ Her hand drifts up. There's chaos and carnage and ancient magic playing out across the screen right now but as she brushes some of his hair back, her eyes are exclusively on him. ]
So do your best not to get jealous of my fans. You kind of seem like the type.
[ The flame-spewing dragon, the rampaging black dog, a man whose love could not be understood... chaos and carnage is the best way to describe it, yet they can't help but be engrossed in each other. ]
Hah... it'll be a goddamn pain, but...
[ He returns the favor, brushing aside her hair and returning her gaze. ]
You always have been a handful, so it's not like it'll be any different.
[ He might complain when she makes a point about how he's not allowed to mark her so thoroughly when she's actually an idol, though. ]
[ Another smile. It's softer and a little more tentative than her smiles usually are but somehow, it suits her more. ]
Heehee. Alright. Maybe I can talk Prez Saitou into hiring you as my bodyguard, just so you can make sure there's no funny business going on.
[ Not in a million years. But it's pretty funny to imagine.
She drops her hand and tilts her face up just enough to press a kiss to his jaw before she settles back down and turns her attention back to the screen. It's about time for the final act, after all. ]
I'd make it work, somehow. I just have to figure out how exactly.
[ Yes - even with what she's about to see, she's still holding herself to that. ]
Hah! An idol and her bodyguard... practically asking for a scandal now, aren't you?
[ As if he, the most suspicious guy ever, would ever be accepted as a bodyguard. Not that he's ever met "Saitou" in more than just her memories, but he can imagine how well that conversation would go.
...Well, for now, he supposes he should focus on trying to reach that bridge at all before he considers crossing it.
The battle ends, the curtain closes... the faerie of paradise sacrifices her life at last, the spinster faerie fades away like mist, and the divine corpse is destroyed along with it's endless sea of curses.
It's time for the curtains to fall on this tragedy, yet inexplicably, everything starts to collapse. ]
"But we dealt with all the calamities! There shouldn't be anything left to threaten Britain! So why is the collapse beginning now!? There's no sign of a new enemy anywhere!"
"Sure there is. You just didn't notice it because you'd been looking at it the whole time. Remember that mural in Londinium? THere was a depiction of the Prophecy of Destruction Cernunnos' priestess made just as she was being dismembered. 'As the world grows newer, unbeknownst to all, its roots will grow older... until one day, they will be so brittle as to crumble with a bite from a single, insignificant insect.' That prophecy wasn't about Britain's future. What you're seeing now is what happens when the roots of even the strongest human history are gnawed through. Soon, the entire planet will be gone, as though it never existed."
"...I knew it."
"Huh? You mean you've been on to me, Fujimaru? Well, that sucks. Now I feel silly for biding my time waiting for the perfect moment to make my reappearance. But, really, so what? I never bothered to hide it from you in the first place. Of all my little pawns, you were by far the most insignificant."
"..."
"Oh? What's wrong, Blanca? Your pretty antennae stopped moving. Ah. You're dead. Were you taking all the mors' poison being directed at me from all of Britain, in my place? Thanks, I guess. Not that it really matters."
[ There he is, the true villain of this story, the doomsday device designed to destroy Britain, yet aiming for the destruction of the whole world. Well, it's not like he ever hid his villainous nature from Ai. His softer side, sure... but the Faerie King aside, he was always the very picture of a villain. ]
[ A horrible thought surfaces in her mind as she watches: Being the villain really does suit him better.
It's a cruel thing to think. In a story like this, nothing good comes of being the villain. The best you can expect is to be scorned and rejected even as the heroes sympathize with you, just to make a show of how pure and good they are. They'll smash you into the dirt all the same but you know they're the heroes because doing it makes them feel just a little bad.
But in a twisted way, it's more honest. Even if she can tell he's pouring out more lies the whole time. The bitterness, the frustration and the contempt - that feels much more real than the cheery, affable Faerie King. Like this, you could almost mistake him for something human. After all, it's only humans whose hearts end up so terribly cracked and filthy. ]
Mm. You really did pull this off much better.
[ It's bizarre. Up on screen, he's preparing to bring the whole world down with him, the very picture of the most loathsome sort of villain imaginable. And here she is, shamelessly perched in his lap like it's exactly where she belongs.
She wonders which one is the bigger lie. ]
You were scary like this back when I first summoned you.
[ It's cruel, and yet despite knowing that... he smiles. As if finally his performance is getting some appreciation, especially after she had literally burst into laughter at his introduction as the Faerie King. ]
Hah, good. It would've damaged my pride if you didn't think I was scary back then.
[ It was peculiar, after all. When Fujimaru summoned him, he appeared first as the Faerie King. That much had been his own choice, at least... but when Ai summoned him, he appeared as Vortigern. He had no choice but to appear as Vortigern.
Yet another result of their compatibility, he imagines.
Onscreen is the sight of his "true form", one that Ai herself has witnessed. That massive gaping hole in the world taking the form of something that was both insect and dragon. ]
"Tell me your True Name, Oberon."
"...Well, since you asked, I'd be happy to oblige."
"...Senpai. Oberon's form—no, his very Spirit Origin is—"
[ And at last, the facade completely crumbles. ]
"I swear, these faeries are just unbelievable. First, they kill a god and use his body to create a small island to replace the land that disappeared because of their screwup. Then, still not satisfied, they kill uncountable numbers of their own kind to fill in the sea and make an entire landmass from their corpses. Ugh, their sheer audacity and greed is enough to make me sick. Don't you agree, Fujimaru? Even as a human, you think they're pretty awful... so imagine how disgusted the original Britain must be with them after it was returned to nothing. No wonder it sent calamities after them to try and wipe them all out."
"Oberon..."
"Anyway, Cernunnos wasn't part of it. In some way, he was actually trying to protect the faeries. The only reason I made it up to the surface now is because he's finally gone. Morgan ensured Faerie Britain's creation by sealing Cernunnos away instead of defeating him. I honestly wasn't sure what to do. I certainly had no means of defeating Morgan myself. So, I waited. I waited for a human who could defeat her to appear. I waited for someone who could pop the lid off Cernunnos and finally get rid of him. The Child of Prophecy was just the chance I was waiting for. It was even a kind of amusing idea. So I helped it along a little. I did my part to ensure the Child of Prophecy would set off on her journey, and successfully complete her pilgrimage... all so you could be the ones to ruin everything you were working towards."
"Tell us your name, Oberon!!!"
"Gladly.
I've taken the form of Oberon the Faerie King, a fantasy, a fiction created by your own Proper Human History. I'm the embodiment of Britain's will—the very will that wished for it's own destruction when the Age of Mystics ended.
...My name is Vortigern. Oberon Vortigern. I'm the Abyssal Worm who destroyed Faerie Britain, with a little help from all of you."
[ ...in hindsight, he must have felt rather relieved to finally let it all out like this. He really is rather talkative, isn't he? ]
[ It's shocking entirely for how unshocking it is. It's too huge - too unreal for someone like her to really comprehend. In some strange way, she'd have been more stunned and upset if he'd proved to be a simple murderer, a mundanely evil existence on a level she could make sense of. But this...
No wonder it's being shown like a movie. How could something like this ever have happened in real life? She's a Master in her own right, pathetic as she is, and she can barely even accept it. ]
You sure do love to talk. [ Her voice is a little dry. ] If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd been writing that speech in your head since you got summoned.
[ . . . ]
Which one is right? Your name, I mean. I call you Oberon, but...
[ The one that's really him is the one she should use, right? ]
[ He doesn't blame her for being overwhelmed. Hell, she and Fujimaru are alike in that regard, but Fujimaru has the benefit of this being far from their first rodeo. No one else in the world has as much experience with world-ending threads than them... an ordinary person who just so happened to have Rayshift and Master compatibility, and has been fighting for humanity for a long time. ]
Heh, no such luck... I was just letting everything I kept tucked away out for once.
[ The best monologues are the ones improvised off the top of one's head, right? ]
Both are correct. I'm the Vile King, Vortigern... but Vortigern is, by itself, just a concept. The forms he takes vary... hell, before I was "Oberon", I was the "Mors King", and after I was defeated, I returned as a Heroic Spirit using "Oberon" as the basis for my existence. In Proper Human History, Vortigern was the White Dragon to King Arthur's existence as the Red Dragon.
[ ...it occurs to him that a lot of that might just be flying over Ai's head, but what can he say? Habits are hard to break, and his talkative tendencies seem to be one of them. ]
...Put simply, it'd be weird if you started calling me something else after all this time. Besides, "Oberon" rolls off the tongue better than "Vortigern", doesn't it?
[ Ai stares at him for just long enough for it to feel a little piercing. She's just a human and there's nothing her eyes can do to see past deception like those of a fae and yet, just for a moment, her gaze gouges just a little too deep. It looks so horribly like understanding.
Both are correct. "Ai of B-Komachi" is a pure and perfect idol but without a performer to play her role, she doesn't exist. She's just a concept, defined purely by her contrast to the dirty, broken woman who pretends to be her.
Finally, she nods. ]
I think I get it. [ She understands entirely too well. ] It's not one or the other. It can't be.
[ Her hand drifts up again but this time, she curls the strands of his fur stole around her fingers. ]
So I'll handle both of them.
[ And though she certainly doesn't know that she's said it - maybe she doesn't even think or feel it in any way conscious enough to even be aware - her words come shot through with a bright and horrible truth even so.
[ What a greedy woman... for all her hangups on it, she certainly seems eager to love as much as she can... even if it's all the sides of himself, even the ones he tends to keep tucked away. ]
So long as you're prepared for the troubles that'll come with that, then...
[ The movie continues, words are spoken that Ai has heard already, at the very least in passing. Though his words are, of course, still nothing but lies. The Abyssal Worm falls on the ship, plunging both it and the Master of Chaldea into the void. His birth is shown... though Ai is already intimately familiar with that, isn't she?
Yet even amidst the almost casual chat that they have when the Master of Chaldea wakes up, even as they fall down an endless void... a single star, unnoticed by Oberon, continues to shine in the distance. ]
"Come! Caster!!"
"...! You... No... No, it can't be!"
[ She appeared in a blinding flash of light, the powerful and imposing figure of a King... the protagonist of this story, even after the curtain fell on her performance. ]
"I have heard the foreign mage's summons, and come to her aid in accordance with our contract. If this battle is not to punish Britain, but to save the world... then I will cross even the ends of time to deliver this sword into her hands."
[ Simply chasing a single, small star that shone in the distance, an insignificantly small light amidst a storm... yet it kept her going, even now. ]
[ She'd promised she'd watch to the end. This part is hardest - her hand curls even tighter into the furs around his shoulders. Her forehead presses to the side of his neck. Maybe it's reassurance for both of them. But she'd promised, so she watches. ]
Maybe I shouldn't say it... but you were probably always going to lose here. If you were the villain in a story like this, there was no way you could've.
[ But it isn't a scolding - it's more gentle reassurance, somehow. ]
But I guess with the kind of story this was, nobody won.
Well, Chaldea certainly did. Even came out of this with their own Excalibur to use to fight against the Alien God. The world is rather ruined over on that side, after all.
[ He says it in a bitter tone of voice, but considering how he was summoned to their side afterwards, he doesn’t sound too bothered. ]
Still… I had my reasons, and I really did try my best. Seriously, that girl… I suppose I dug my own grave with her.
[ It’s almost funny how she proceeds to admonish him for his actions, her presence alone allowing the rest of Chaldea to stir from their slumbers and give them another fighting chance. ]
…well, as far as Deus Ex Machina’s go, it wasn’t terrible.
I guess. [ Her mouth twitches upwards into a tiny smile. ] I think if anyone deserved a chance to scold you after all the trouble you caused, it'd be her.
[ She's still lazily and gently coming her fingers though his stole, a soothing, repetitive motion. ]
Maybe I shouldn't say this while you're getting kicked around... [ artoria really is uh kind of beating his ass right now. ] But I'm glad it worked out like this.
[ Almost cautiously, she peeks up at him. ]
If you'd gotten your way... neither of us would be here. Right? I wouldn't have gotten a chance to meet you, let alone be your Master.
[ She combs her fingers through his stole, so at the same time, he runs his hands through her hair, gently caressing her in the process. It's... nice, having her here like this.
It's also nice having her be at least somewhat distracted while Artoria kicks his ass. To his credit, he's fighting just as well as he always does... hell, he's fighting even better, actually. He's a true threat, a powerful enemy... ]
"Round of Avalon!!"
"Gah!!"
[ In this clash between light and darkness in this void of perpetual falling, the combined efforts of the Avalon le Fae, the Faerie Knight Galahad, and the Last Master of Humanity... the final blow was struck.
Yet, just before that... the red-haired Master, just as ordinary as Ai herself, chooses to dream. ]
"Seriously? Just how shameless are you, you bastard?"
[ Ai was his, and Oberon was hers, that much they had confirmed to each other... but really, to be the Master of someone like Oberon... ]
"This is the end, right? What's the harm in being honest with me about how you feel now?"
"Are you kidding me!? You really are an idiot, aren't you? Even I'm not this bad. I've met insects with better memories than you."
"Hey, you're the one who said you're a liar, right?"
"...Okay, you've got me there. Well played."
[ That kind of attitude is necessary to be his Master, isn't it? ]
"You're right. I do feel strongly about some things. A lot of things, actually. Vortigern was Britain's destiny incarnate, and I was born as part of him... but I'm not just Vortigern, though. I'm Oberon, too. Did I ever tell you about what the land of the fae really is? It's all a big, well, fairy tale. A single story, nothing more.
A fourteen-thousand year picture book Morgan wrote just to have somewhere to belong, even if it had to be fictional. And you people rejected it, just like you have all the others. You said it was wrong—that it was meaningless.
I didn't like that. So much so that it even made me forget my disgust with everything. You make up characters who behave exactly how you want, put them in the kind of stories people dream about... stories so good they even change your very lives... then you just laugh and dismiss them as nothing more than flights of fancy."
"So... this is about stories?"
"That's right. There's still meaning to be found in even the most hackneyed of kingdoms, or the most unsung side characters. All those stories you people from reality just forgot the moment you finished the last page? They had every bit as much right to remain afterward as anything else.
...Oh well, there's no point in telling you this. You're human. You'll forget all about it once the next story comes along. Proper Human History's all about growth and progress, right? Nothing is permanent there. It all just keeps going forever. Me? I find all that stuff a huge pain in the ass.
I was absolutely livid; that's why I wanted to end everything. There. Happy? Now wake up already. You don't need a morning lark, or even an evening one. Not yet, anyway. All right, see you later, Asshole of Chaldea! This journey might've sucked, but at least it was full of surprises!"
"Where are you going? Where are you going? I'll come with you! I'll come with you! Goodbye, friend of Oberon! Come visit Oberon's woods again sometime!"
[ And just like that, it was over. The heroes struck him down, shattering his Spirit Core and knocking him off the side, sending him falling into the endless abyss. The Vile King was felled, and the dying remains of a dragon—no, a Faerie Knight—provided them the last miracle they needed to escape.
He had no strength left to fly after them... no, in the first place... ]
"The wings on my back are just for show... I could never fly, idiot...!"
[ Defeated after accomplishing his goal, he fell, looking up at the Chaldeans flying away and back into that blindingly bright sky. ]
"Go on, get out of here! It'll be a relief to not have to see your damn faces anymore!
...Oh well, who cares? What matters is that I killed Britain, just like I wanted. Although... I'm sorry, Titania. My fictional queen, who loved me in all my twisted ways. I couldn't get rid of those Proper Human History bastards for you."
[ Yet in the end... it was all motivated by love, wasn't it? For a fictional love that never existed. It was no wonder, then, that he fought so hard for that which was fictional... that which didn't exist.
In which case... Ai could never find another Servant who would be as loyal to her as him. Who would fight as hard as him... for her sake. ]
"You know, it's weird. Even though I got the ever-living shit kicked out of me... I still feel strangely at peace. Hmph. So that's Proper Human History's sky, huh. Dammit. It's so beautiful it makes me sick."
[ And thus, the curtains closed as the infinite hollow sealed and the Abyssal Worm fell towards a destination forever beyond his reach. ]
[ This is easily the worst part. Not because it's hard to watch him lose - though that certainly isn't pleasant - but because she feels like she's intruding. She shouldn't be seeing any of this. Especially not after the fall from the ship. Those aren't words for anyone else but here she is, eavesdropping all the same. She really is the worst.
And yet at the same time... something about it is soothing to hear. A balm to a stinging bruise she hadn't even realised was there until the pain let up. A fairy tale some foolish girl made up, just so she could try and have somewhere to belong, even if it had to be a story. Even if she had to lie with everything she had.
He really didn't have any choice but to answer her call, did he?
By now, her fingers have curled into his stole, gripping like she's a like little afraid he'll vanish if she doesn't. ]
You're such a troublemaker. All that for somebody else's story.
[ Her voice is low and soft again. That almost airily breathless tone. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
But she doesn't. Instead she huffs out a sigh and shakes her head. ]
Maybe it's good enough for you. But that's nowhere near good enough for me. Sorry to say, but my memory's actually pretty bad. So we'll have to do better than that.
[ Assuming they even get close to winning, of course. Oberon had promised and she believes him and yet... ]
I guess I'll have to figure out a really greedy wish.
no subject
[ He's glad she can't see his face like this, the way he bites his bottom lip. It was him who told her to be greedy, wasn't it? This is what he told her to be...
The idea of living out a proper life alongside the star he had considered to be forever out of his reach... it feels so ridiculous, so perfect that it hurts. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever wished for, everything he's always considered to be something he can never have.
It feels too good to be true. His kneejerk reaction is to deny it, but...
Chasing after a star that doesn't exist, that's all he's ever done, isn't it? ]
Damn it... what the hell...
[ His arms around her waist tighten so much it's bound to start hurting a little, but he can't help it. ]
Do whatever you want, then...
no subject
[ Playfully, yes - but when she says that, it occurs to her that it sounds just a little too much like a promise.
Maybe this one, she'll have a chance of keeping.
Once more, she leans back against him, tucking her head against his neck. If he needs to hold onto her then she's here. ]
There's just a little more to go, right? I told you I'd stay up until the end.
no subject
If nothing else, he wants to ensure that she regains her happiness as a mother. If that requires sacrificing her happiness as a Master, then he'll sacrifice that himself if she won't.
Even if that's at his expense... well, if he can bear with falling into an endless abyss, he can handle that as well. ]
Mm...
[ He'll chase that star, just as Artoria did... but if he can't reach it, then he'll at least cherish it while it's by his side.
Artoria's Autumn Memories... in place of "Merlin", there was at least Ector. With a grumpy old blacksmith at her side for the rest of her time in Tintagel, it's no wonder she got along with Muramasa... yet even that was a tragedy. ]
"Thanks, but no thanks. If I brought something of my own back, they'd just take it away again."
[ Arguably, it could be said that her Summer Memories were worse. She couldn't kill him, even though the Faeries demanded that of her. The town was burned to the ground, not even by Woodwose's hand, but by themselves... and in the end, even Ector was lost to her. ]
"Yes, that's right. Creating the holy sword's conceptual foundation will destroy everything she was, is, and ever will be. That is the faerie of paradise's duty, her function. And even then, the holy sword won't be easy to forge. Everything about her—every experience she's had, all her memories, even Spirit Origin, her very fate—will be used as materials to make it. It's not a sacrifice. It is an equivalent exchange... and it has to be her. It can't be anyone else."
[ And yet despite all of that, her Spring Memories... ]
"...I see. Well, that was easy, huh!? It was literally over before I knew it! So that's the Site of Selection on top of that hill, huh? Okay! Last one there's a rotten egg!"
"...I can't believe it. All those horrible memories, and even at the end, she...!"
"...I know. It just ain't right. But you know, Fujimaru, if nothing else, I'm glad you're so damn pissed off about it. So look. Whatever happens next, just let the old man here handle it."
[ There was no moment in her life when she was ever truly happy. Her spring memories were meant to be, as Merlin put it, "fun times and fun times only". The simple pleasures in her life, like feeling satisfied after a good meal... except she had none of those. Just moments that allowed her to cope with the pain, but the pain never stopped.
Her spring memories were the people in front of her... that's all. She would disappear just like that in order to create the Holy Sword, putting an end to this world and granting Chaldea a weapon to use against their true enemy. By every definition of the word, it was a tragedy. ]
"Yeah? Can't end things just yet then, can you?"
[ But at the very least, there was one person there able to give her a brief respite when no one else could. ]
"Don't worry about it. I'm doing this 'cause it's what I want, just like you. This was always my destiny. That said... I'm sorry I never got to make you that barrette."
no subject
Come on. Nobody really believes that. When girls bleed themselves dry with a smile, when they laugh and perform and put their hearts into everyone else's hands so it can be reduced to pulp, when they get absolutely nothing back from any of it - how exactly is that equivalent exchange? How exactly is that a fair trade?
Well. It's fair for everybody else. Acceptable collateral damage, if anyone even thinks about it at all. Farmers stop crying over sheep going to slaughter pretty quick if they even think to shed any tears at all, right? ]
She didn't even get to keep her memories to herself, huh. [ If it sounds bitter, it's because she is. ] They really wanted to take everything.
[ "That's just how it always goes." ]
... Have you ever seen any of mine like this? If I can peek in here at yours, then...
no subject
That didn't make him hate it any less. ]
...I have. The connection between Servant and Master means it's actually quite common for that kind of thing to bleed through in the form of dreams.
[ That night, that first night after her first experience in combat, that first time they started to bare their hearts to each other... he had seen it. ]
...he didn't deserve your love. You know that, right?
no subject
A gouging, gaping wound. Rusty pain, the coppery taste of blood in her teeth and the reek of it in her nose. A wretched, helpless sort of calm, a sense of surrender that call only be called despair.
Oh. That's not happening now, is it? Oberon's here. She's not even in her own home. When did she start gripping the front of her dress again? Everything's fine. It's a little hard to breathe properly. ]
... Maybe not.
[ Her voice is a little airy as she says it. Like her chest is constricted - or like all the air is bleeding out of her even as she pulls it in. ]
But that's why it's even more important that I try. Because if I can love somebody who doesn't deserve it, then it really would be the real thing, right? And maybe I could...
[ "Maybe I could try loving myself, too."
Nobody deserves it less, after all. ]
no subject
Idiot...
[ She had already found "real" love with her children... and to the very end, she had been overflowing with it, hadn't she? And to say she was undeserving of it herself...
Well, it's not like he can talk in that regard, but... still... ]
no subject
Well, if she's already being this pathetic, she might as well really indulge.
She pulls her feet up - was she ever wearing shoes when she got here? she doesn't remember - and settles them onto the seat so she can tuck herself more tightly into him. For as clingy and needy for her touch as he'd been, Ai knows she's just as bad. ]
I don't think it was a mistake. [ Still in that low, airy voice. ] I'm glad that I tried. It meant I knew how to do it properly when the time finally came.
no subject
[ "You're an idiot, then" he thinks, but refrains from saying. He supposes this is one difference between them, then. Oberon was unworthy of love, so he rejected it... Hoshino Ai, meanwhile, gave it endlessly.
Well, he supposes it was very much her to do so... she had the benefit of being human, after all. Her words could become the truth, unlike his. ]
Well... you know love now, don't you? Save that kind of thing for them from now on...
no subject
Aah, you're right. Maybe I should. I owe it to them after I spent so long trying to work out how to say it. When I go back... I don't want them to wonder for a single moment. I want them to know for sure that I really do love them. This time, I want to make it really work. I want to be an idol and a mom and I don't care who fights me about it.
[ Her hand drifts up. There's chaos and carnage and ancient magic playing out across the screen right now but as she brushes some of his hair back, her eyes are exclusively on him. ]
So do your best not to get jealous of my fans. You kind of seem like the type.
no subject
Hah... it'll be a goddamn pain, but...
[ He returns the favor, brushing aside her hair and returning her gaze. ]
You always have been a handful, so it's not like it'll be any different.
[
He might complain when she makes a point about how he's not allowed to mark her so thoroughly when she's actually an idol, though.]no subject
Heehee. Alright. Maybe I can talk Prez Saitou into hiring you as my bodyguard, just so you can make sure there's no funny business going on.
[ Not in a million years. But it's pretty funny to imagine.
She drops her hand and tilts her face up just enough to press a kiss to his jaw before she settles back down and turns her attention back to the screen. It's about time for the final act, after all. ]
I'd make it work, somehow. I just have to figure out how exactly.
[ Yes - even with what she's about to see, she's still holding herself to that. ]
no subject
[ As if he, the most suspicious guy ever, would ever be accepted as a bodyguard. Not that he's ever met "Saitou" in more than just her memories, but he can imagine how well that conversation would go.
...Well, for now, he supposes he should focus on trying to reach that bridge at all before he considers crossing it.
The battle ends, the curtain closes... the faerie of paradise sacrifices her life at last, the spinster faerie fades away like mist, and the divine corpse is destroyed along with it's endless sea of curses.
It's time for the curtains to fall on this tragedy, yet inexplicably, everything starts to collapse. ]
"But we dealt with all the calamities! There shouldn't be anything left to threaten Britain! So why is the collapse beginning now!? There's no sign of a new enemy anywhere!"
"Sure there is. You just didn't notice it because you'd been looking at it the whole time. Remember that mural in Londinium? THere was a depiction of the Prophecy of Destruction Cernunnos' priestess made just as she was being dismembered. 'As the world grows newer, unbeknownst to all, its roots will grow older... until one day, they will be so brittle as to crumble with a bite from a single, insignificant insect.' That prophecy wasn't about Britain's future. What you're seeing now is what happens when the roots of even the strongest human history are gnawed through. Soon, the entire planet will be gone, as though it never existed."
"...I knew it."
"Huh? You mean you've been on to me, Fujimaru? Well, that sucks. Now I feel silly for biding my time waiting for the perfect moment to make my reappearance. But, really, so what? I never bothered to hide it from you in the first place. Of all my little pawns, you were by far the most insignificant."
"..."
"Oh? What's wrong, Blanca? Your pretty antennae stopped moving. Ah. You're dead. Were you taking all the mors' poison being directed at me from all of Britain, in my place? Thanks, I guess. Not that it really matters."
[ There he is, the true villain of this story, the doomsday device designed to destroy Britain, yet aiming for the destruction of the whole world. Well, it's not like he ever hid his villainous nature from Ai. His softer side, sure... but the Faerie King aside, he was always the very picture of a villain. ]
no subject
It's a cruel thing to think. In a story like this, nothing good comes of being the villain. The best you can expect is to be scorned and rejected even as the heroes sympathize with you, just to make a show of how pure and good they are. They'll smash you into the dirt all the same but you know they're the heroes because doing it makes them feel just a little bad.
But in a twisted way, it's more honest. Even if she can tell he's pouring out more lies the whole time. The bitterness, the frustration and the contempt - that feels much more real than the cheery, affable Faerie King. Like this, you could almost mistake him for something human. After all, it's only humans whose hearts end up so terribly cracked and filthy. ]
Mm. You really did pull this off much better.
[ It's bizarre. Up on screen, he's preparing to bring the whole world down with him, the very picture of the most loathsome sort of villain imaginable. And here she is, shamelessly perched in his lap like it's exactly where she belongs.
She wonders which one is the bigger lie. ]
You were scary like this back when I first summoned you.
no subject
Hah, good. It would've damaged my pride if you didn't think I was scary back then.
[ It was peculiar, after all. When Fujimaru summoned him, he appeared first as the Faerie King. That much had been his own choice, at least... but when Ai summoned him, he appeared as Vortigern. He had no choice but to appear as Vortigern.
Yet another result of their compatibility, he imagines.
Onscreen is the sight of his "true form", one that Ai herself has witnessed. That massive gaping hole in the world taking the form of something that was both insect and dragon. ]
"Tell me your True Name, Oberon."
"...Well, since you asked, I'd be happy to oblige."
"...Senpai. Oberon's form—no, his very Spirit Origin is—"
[ And at last, the facade completely crumbles. ]
"I swear, these faeries are just unbelievable. First, they kill a god and use his body to create a small island to replace the land that disappeared because of their screwup. Then, still not satisfied, they kill uncountable numbers of their own kind to fill in the sea and make an entire landmass from their corpses. Ugh, their sheer audacity and greed is enough to make me sick. Don't you agree, Fujimaru? Even as a human, you think they're pretty awful... so imagine how disgusted the original Britain must be with them after it was returned to nothing. No wonder it sent calamities after them to try and wipe them all out."
"Oberon..."
"Anyway, Cernunnos wasn't part of it. In some way, he was actually trying to protect the faeries. The only reason I made it up to the surface now is because he's finally gone. Morgan ensured Faerie Britain's creation by sealing Cernunnos away instead of defeating him. I honestly wasn't sure what to do. I certainly had no means of defeating Morgan myself. So, I waited. I waited for a human who could defeat her to appear. I waited for someone who could pop the lid off Cernunnos and finally get rid of him. The Child of Prophecy was just the chance I was waiting for. It was even a kind of amusing idea. So I helped it along a little. I did my part to ensure the Child of Prophecy would set off on her journey, and successfully complete her pilgrimage... all so you could be the ones to ruin everything you were working towards."
"Tell us your name, Oberon!!!"
"Gladly.
I've taken the form of Oberon the Faerie King, a fantasy, a fiction created by your own Proper Human History. I'm the embodiment of Britain's will—the very will that wished for it's own destruction when the Age of Mystics ended.
...My name is Vortigern. Oberon Vortigern. I'm the Abyssal Worm who destroyed Faerie Britain, with a little help from all of you."
[ ...in hindsight, he must have felt rather relieved to finally let it all out like this. He really is rather talkative, isn't he? ]
no subject
No wonder it's being shown like a movie. How could something like this ever have happened in real life? She's a Master in her own right, pathetic as she is, and she can barely even accept it. ]
You sure do love to talk. [ Her voice is a little dry. ] If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd been writing that speech in your head since you got summoned.
[ . . . ]
Which one is right? Your name, I mean. I call you Oberon, but...
[ The one that's really him is the one she should use, right? ]
no subject
Heh, no such luck... I was just letting everything I kept tucked away out for once.
[ The best monologues are the ones improvised off the top of one's head, right? ]
Both are correct. I'm the Vile King, Vortigern... but Vortigern is, by itself, just a concept. The forms he takes vary... hell, before I was "Oberon", I was the "Mors King", and after I was defeated, I returned as a Heroic Spirit using "Oberon" as the basis for my existence. In Proper Human History, Vortigern was the White Dragon to King Arthur's existence as the Red Dragon.
[ ...it occurs to him that a lot of that might just be flying over Ai's head, but what can he say? Habits are hard to break, and his talkative tendencies seem to be one of them. ]
...Put simply, it'd be weird if you started calling me something else after all this time. Besides, "Oberon" rolls off the tongue better than "Vortigern", doesn't it?
no subject
Both are correct. "Ai of B-Komachi" is a pure and perfect idol but without a performer to play her role, she doesn't exist. She's just a concept, defined purely by her contrast to the dirty, broken woman who pretends to be her.
Finally, she nods. ]
I think I get it. [ She understands entirely too well. ] It's not one or the other. It can't be.
[ Her hand drifts up again but this time, she curls the strands of his fur stole around her fingers. ]
So I'll handle both of them.
[ And though she certainly doesn't know that she's said it - maybe she doesn't even think or feel it in any way conscious enough to even be aware - her words come shot through with a bright and horrible truth even so.
"So I'll love both of them." ]
no subject
[ What a greedy woman... for all her hangups on it, she certainly seems eager to love as much as she can... even if it's all the sides of himself, even the ones he tends to keep tucked away. ]
So long as you're prepared for the troubles that'll come with that, then...
[ The movie continues, words are spoken that Ai has heard already, at the very least in passing. Though his words are, of course, still nothing but lies. The Abyssal Worm falls on the ship, plunging both it and the Master of Chaldea into the void. His birth is shown... though Ai is already intimately familiar with that, isn't she?
Yet even amidst the almost casual chat that they have when the Master of Chaldea wakes up, even as they fall down an endless void... a single star, unnoticed by Oberon, continues to shine in the distance. ]
"Come! Caster!!"
"...! You... No... No, it can't be!"
[ She appeared in a blinding flash of light, the powerful and imposing figure of a King... the protagonist of this story, even after the curtain fell on her performance. ]
"I have heard the foreign mage's summons, and come to her aid in accordance with our contract. If this battle is not to punish Britain, but to save the world... then I will cross even the ends of time to deliver this sword into her hands."
[ Simply chasing a single, small star that shone in the distance, an insignificantly small light amidst a storm... yet it kept her going, even now. ]
no subject
Maybe I shouldn't say it... but you were probably always going to lose here. If you were the villain in a story like this, there was no way you could've.
[ But it isn't a scolding - it's more gentle reassurance, somehow. ]
But I guess with the kind of story this was, nobody won.
no subject
[ He says it in a bitter tone of voice, but considering how he was summoned to their side afterwards, he doesn’t sound too bothered. ]
Still… I had my reasons, and I really did try my best. Seriously, that girl… I suppose I dug my own grave with her.
[ It’s almost funny how she proceeds to admonish him for his actions, her presence alone allowing the rest of Chaldea to stir from their slumbers and give them another fighting chance. ]
…well, as far as Deus Ex Machina’s go, it wasn’t terrible.
no subject
[ She's still lazily and gently coming her fingers though his stole, a soothing, repetitive motion. ]
Maybe I shouldn't say this while you're getting kicked around... [ artoria really is uh kind of beating his ass right now. ] But I'm glad it worked out like this.
[ Almost cautiously, she peeks up at him. ]
If you'd gotten your way... neither of us would be here. Right? I wouldn't have gotten a chance to meet you, let alone be your Master.
no subject
[ She combs her fingers through his stole, so at the same time, he runs his hands through her hair, gently caressing her in the process. It's... nice, having her here like this.
It's also nice having her be at least somewhat distracted while Artoria kicks his ass. To his credit, he's fighting just as well as he always does... hell, he's fighting even better, actually. He's a true threat, a powerful enemy... ]
"Round of Avalon!!"
"Gah!!"
[ In this clash between light and darkness in this void of perpetual falling, the combined efforts of the Avalon le Fae, the Faerie Knight Galahad, and the Last Master of Humanity... the final blow was struck.
Yet, just before that... the red-haired Master, just as ordinary as Ai herself, chooses to dream. ]
"Seriously? Just how shameless are you, you bastard?"
[ Ai was his, and Oberon was hers, that much they had confirmed to each other... but really, to be the Master of someone like Oberon... ]
"This is the end, right? What's the harm in being honest with me about how you feel now?"
"Are you kidding me!? You really are an idiot, aren't you? Even I'm not this bad. I've met insects with better memories than you."
"Hey, you're the one who said you're a liar, right?"
"...Okay, you've got me there. Well played."
[ That kind of attitude is necessary to be his Master, isn't it? ]
"You're right. I do feel strongly about some things. A lot of things, actually. Vortigern was Britain's destiny incarnate, and I was born as part of him... but I'm not just Vortigern, though. I'm Oberon, too. Did I ever tell you about what the land of the fae really is? It's all a big, well, fairy tale. A single story, nothing more.
A fourteen-thousand year picture book Morgan wrote just to have somewhere to belong, even if it had to be fictional. And you people rejected it, just like you have all the others. You said it was wrong—that it was meaningless.
I didn't like that. So much so that it even made me forget my disgust with everything. You make up characters who behave exactly how you want, put them in the kind of stories people dream about... stories so good they even change your very lives... then you just laugh and dismiss them as nothing more than flights of fancy."
"So... this is about stories?"
"That's right. There's still meaning to be found in even the most hackneyed of kingdoms, or the most unsung side characters. All those stories you people from reality just forgot the moment you finished the last page? They had every bit as much right to remain afterward as anything else.
...Oh well, there's no point in telling you this. You're human. You'll forget all about it once the next story comes along. Proper Human History's all about growth and progress, right? Nothing is permanent there. It all just keeps going forever. Me? I find all that stuff a huge pain in the ass.
I was absolutely livid; that's why I wanted to end everything. There. Happy? Now wake up already. You don't need a morning lark, or even an evening one. Not yet, anyway. All right, see you later, Asshole of Chaldea! This journey might've sucked, but at least it was full of surprises!"
"Where are you going? Where are you going? I'll come with you! I'll come with you! Goodbye, friend of Oberon! Come visit Oberon's woods again sometime!"
[ And just like that, it was over. The heroes struck him down, shattering his Spirit Core and knocking him off the side, sending him falling into the endless abyss. The Vile King was felled, and the dying remains of a dragon—no, a Faerie Knight—provided them the last miracle they needed to escape.
He had no strength left to fly after them... no, in the first place... ]
"The wings on my back are just for show... I could never fly, idiot...!"
[ Defeated after accomplishing his goal, he fell, looking up at the Chaldeans flying away and back into that blindingly bright sky. ]
"Go on, get out of here! It'll be a relief to not have to see your damn faces anymore!
...Oh well, who cares? What matters is that I killed Britain, just like I wanted. Although... I'm sorry, Titania. My fictional queen, who loved me in all my twisted ways. I couldn't get rid of those Proper Human History bastards for you."
[ Yet in the end... it was all motivated by love, wasn't it? For a fictional love that never existed. It was no wonder, then, that he fought so hard for that which was fictional... that which didn't exist.
In which case... Ai could never find another Servant who would be as loyal to her as him. Who would fight as hard as him... for her sake. ]
"You know, it's weird. Even though I got the ever-living shit kicked out of me... I still feel strangely at peace. Hmph. So that's Proper Human History's sky, huh. Dammit. It's so beautiful it makes me sick."
[ And thus, the curtains closed as the infinite hollow sealed and the Abyssal Worm fell towards a destination forever beyond his reach. ]
no subject
And yet at the same time... something about it is soothing to hear. A balm to a stinging bruise she hadn't even realised was there until the pain let up. A fairy tale some foolish girl made up, just so she could try and have somewhere to belong, even if it had to be a story. Even if she had to lie with everything she had.
He really didn't have any choice but to answer her call, did he?
By now, her fingers have curled into his stole, gripping like she's a like little afraid he'll vanish if she doesn't. ]
You're such a troublemaker. All that for somebody else's story.
[ Her voice is low and soft again. That almost airily breathless tone. ]
And then you came along for mine, too.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)