Yeah... that would be the reasonable reaction, wouldn't it?
[ His clawed hand finds hers again and grips it. ]
I'll admit it, Morgan did a splendid job with the cards she was dealt... but it was always going to end this way.
[ A long-dead land being artificially kept alive for 14,000 years... delaying the inevitable was all one ever could do, as the faeries themselves squandered whatever hope they had for something better. Twice did they reject the savior sent to them... Artoria's winter memories prove that much.
And yet... ]
"Ngh... Gaaah, that was nasty! The faeries at your place are pretty horrible, you know that!?"
"H-Huh!? D-Did you just talk, staff!?"
[ Honestly, it wasn't a very good lie. He sounds exactly like himself, and not at all like the actual Merlin who Ai has now seen for herself. ]
"No, I'm not the Staff of Selection. I'm just a nosy old busybody. Ugh, I swear... I wasn't planning on getting involved, but now I just don't think I have a choice. Listen up. I'm Merlin. Merlin, the Mage of Flowers. I'm going to be your teacher from now on. Don't forget it."
[ This time, he actually felt somewhat prepared for Ai's commentary on that front, as if he's aware of how bad of a lie it was.
But thinking about it from the perspective of a liar like him... that just meant that "Merlin aided Artoria Caster" was made into a lie. That it wasn't the mage of flowers who came to her aid, but himself.
It's no wonder, then, that her magecraft is the way it is... his teaching method was about as unorthodox as you can get. She would ask to learn something, he would leave for a few days to learn it himself, customize it so that Artoria could use it with her limited magical energy, then impart that knowledge onto her. ]
"Hmm, I see. So you'd need a tool you can charge with magical energy, and a spell you can use to make gunpowder explode? ...This is dangerously close to magical terrorism."
[ Honestly that speaks more to Artoria's preferences than his. Yet despite his witty remarks and foul mouth—that was almost certainly imparted onto Artoria herself, considering the way she is in the present—he taught her everything (within reason, he still can't fly) without complaint.
For a few years, before the staff was eventually confiscated from her, he had essentially raised her... hadn't he? ]
Of course you are. But that's exactly why I was expecting a better lie. ... but if it works then it works.
[ It's... well, she doesn't want to call it cute. That makes it all sound so twee and lighthearted which it pointedly hadn't been. But she can't help but wonder if even this tiny slice of togetherness had been just as much for Oberon's sake as it had been for that girl's.
Chasing a star you know you'll never reach is all sorts of lonely, after all. ]
I don't want you ever teaching Aqua or Ruby any of this if you ever meet them, by the way. They're clever enough to pick it all up and that's exactly what worries me.
Heh... if they were to ask, who would I be to refuse?
[ He says, as if it wouldn't be a whole hassle to have to teach anybody else. The spells he taught Artoria were specifically tailored for her to use with their minimal pool of magical energy at the time. If he were to teach anyone else he'd have to do that all over again for them... though if Ai is any indication, he doubts either of her children would have a particularly large pool of magical energy to take from either. ]
Besides, I'd have to earn their trust somehow, right? If I ever meet them, that is.
[ As if he wouldn't be starting below-ground in that regard with them. ]
[ She'd said it as a joke but... what would have to happen for him to meet them? Would they have to come here? ... Would Oberon come back with her, if she ever managed to go home?
No matter how she turns the idea over in her head, she can't quite figure out how to make it work. None of it ever feels quite real.
She turns her attention back to the screen - to the girl's ill-fated spring memories - before she speaks up again. ]
If I could take you back with me, then I would, you know.
[ His arms grip her a little tighter. It's not a conversation they could avoid having, isn't it? If they win... if he obtains the grail for her, what happens then. Obviously, sending Ai back with a second chance is a given, a chance to not answer that door... to keep the door chain on, call the police, live to perform at the dome—but more importantly, live out the rest of her life with her children...
...but what about him?
What place does a doomsday device like him have in that life? Just a memory? A Midsummer Night's Dream? ]
...Well, that depends on what's possible with the grail. [ He starts talking in his usual flippant attitude, of course. ] Still, regardless of what happens, so long as I live on in your memories—in your dreams—then that's good enough for me.
[ . . . She could call that out as a lie as easily as anything. No matter how good he is at telling them, how could something like that be anything but a lie?
But she doesn't. Instead she huffs out a sigh and shakes her head. ]
Maybe it's good enough for you. But that's nowhere near good enough for me. Sorry to say, but my memory's actually pretty bad. So we'll have to do better than that.
[ Assuming they even get close to winning, of course. Oberon had promised and she believes him and yet... ]
I guess I'll have to figure out a really greedy wish.
[ He's glad she can't see his face like this, the way he bites his bottom lip. It was him who told her to be greedy, wasn't it? This is what he told her to be...
The idea of living out a proper life alongside the star he had considered to be forever out of his reach... it feels so ridiculous, so perfect that it hurts. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever wished for, everything he's always considered to be something he can never have.
It feels too good to be true. His kneejerk reaction is to deny it, but...
Chasing after a star that doesn't exist, that's all he's ever done, isn't it? ]
Damn it... what the hell...
[ His arms around her waist tighten so much it's bound to start hurting a little, but he can't help it. ]
[ It's a chance, that's all it is. Hell, there's also a chance that the grail isn't enough, or that there's something else in their way... but there's still a chance.
If nothing else, he wants to ensure that she regains her happiness as a mother. If that requires sacrificing her happiness as a Master, then he'll sacrifice that himself if she won't.
Even if that's at his expense... well, if he can bear with falling into an endless abyss, he can handle that as well. ]
Mm...
[ He'll chase that star, just as Artoria did... but if he can't reach it, then he'll at least cherish it while it's by his side.
Artoria's Autumn Memories... in place of "Merlin", there was at least Ector. With a grumpy old blacksmith at her side for the rest of her time in Tintagel, it's no wonder she got along with Muramasa... yet even that was a tragedy. ]
"Thanks, but no thanks. If I brought something of my own back, they'd just take it away again."
[ Arguably, it could be said that her Summer Memories were worse. She couldn't kill him, even though the Faeries demanded that of her. The town was burned to the ground, not even by Woodwose's hand, but by themselves... and in the end, even Ector was lost to her. ]
"Yes, that's right. Creating the holy sword's conceptual foundation will destroy everything she was, is, and ever will be. That is the faerie of paradise's duty, her function. And even then, the holy sword won't be easy to forge. Everything about her—every experience she's had, all her memories, even Spirit Origin, her very fate—will be used as materials to make it. It's not a sacrifice. It is an equivalent exchange... and it has to be her. It can't be anyone else."
[ And yet despite all of that, her Spring Memories... ]
"...I see. Well, that was easy, huh!? It was literally over before I knew it! So that's the Site of Selection on top of that hill, huh? Okay! Last one there's a rotten egg!"
"...I can't believe it. All those horrible memories, and even at the end, she...!"
"...I know. It just ain't right. But you know, Fujimaru, if nothing else, I'm glad you're so damn pissed off about it. So look. Whatever happens next, just let the old man here handle it."
[ There was no moment in her life when she was ever truly happy. Her spring memories were meant to be, as Merlin put it, "fun times and fun times only". The simple pleasures in her life, like feeling satisfied after a good meal... except she had none of those. Just moments that allowed her to cope with the pain, but the pain never stopped.
Her spring memories were the people in front of her... that's all. She would disappear just like that in order to create the Holy Sword, putting an end to this world and granting Chaldea a weapon to use against their true enemy. By every definition of the word, it was a tragedy. ]
"Yeah? Can't end things just yet then, can you?"
[ But at the very least, there was one person there able to give her a brief respite when no one else could. ]
"Don't worry about it. I'm doing this 'cause it's what I want, just like you. This was always my destiny. That said... I'm sorry I never got to make you that barrette."
Come on. Nobody really believes that. When girls bleed themselves dry with a smile, when they laugh and perform and put their hearts into everyone else's hands so it can be reduced to pulp, when they get absolutely nothing back from any of it - how exactly is that equivalent exchange? How exactly is that a fair trade?
Well. It's fair for everybody else. Acceptable collateral damage, if anyone even thinks about it at all. Farmers stop crying over sheep going to slaughter pretty quick if they even think to shed any tears at all, right? ]
She didn't even get to keep her memories to herself, huh. [ If it sounds bitter, it's because she is. ] They really wanted to take everything.
[ "That's just how it always goes." ]
... Have you ever seen any of mine like this? If I can peek in here at yours, then...
[ Just add it to the list of things Oberon doesn't like about Merlin. From an objective standpoint, he wasn't wrong. It was a Divine Construct being created, after all... and the highest grade of Divine Constructs, Excalibur, at that.
That didn't make him hate it any less. ]
...I have. The connection between Servant and Master means it's actually quite common for that kind of thing to bleed through in the form of dreams.
[ That night, that first night after her first experience in combat, that first time they started to bare their hearts to each other... he had seen it. ]
...he didn't deserve your love. You know that, right?
A gouging, gaping wound. Rusty pain, the coppery taste of blood in her teeth and the reek of it in her nose. A wretched, helpless sort of calm, a sense of surrender that call only be called despair.
Oh. That's not happening now, is it? Oberon's here. She's not even in her own home. When did she start gripping the front of her dress again? Everything's fine. It's a little hard to breathe properly. ]
... Maybe not.
[ Her voice is a little airy as she says it. Like her chest is constricted - or like all the air is bleeding out of her even as she pulls it in. ]
But that's why it's even more important that I try. Because if I can love somebody who doesn't deserve it, then it really would be the real thing, right? And maybe I could...
[ One arm remains wrapped around her waist, but the other comes up to rest on her head and pull her close. ]
Idiot...
[ She had already found "real" love with her children... and to the very end, she had been overflowing with it, hadn't she? And to say she was undeserving of it herself...
Well, it's not like he can talk in that regard, but... still... ]
[ Her breath comes out, soft and surprised. It strikes her that he's probably holding her much the same way in reality too and the realization gives her the strangest sense of deja-vu, or something like it. The itching, oozing pain in her stomach doesn't vanish, not quite, but it gradually eases into something tolerable she can more easily dismiss as the anxious reaction of her body it truly is.
Well, if she's already being this pathetic, she might as well really indulge.
She pulls her feet up - was she ever wearing shoes when she got here? she doesn't remember - and settles them onto the seat so she can tuck herself more tightly into him. For as clingy and needy for her touch as he'd been, Ai knows she's just as bad. ]
I don't think it was a mistake. [ Still in that low, airy voice. ] I'm glad that I tried. It meant I knew how to do it properly when the time finally came.
[ "You're an idiot, then" he thinks, but refrains from saying. He supposes this is one difference between them, then. Oberon was unworthy of love, so he rejected it... Hoshino Ai, meanwhile, gave it endlessly.
Well, he supposes it was very much her to do so... she had the benefit of being human, after all. Her words could become the truth, unlike his. ]
Well... you know love now, don't you? Save that kind of thing for them from now on...
Aah, you're right. Maybe I should. I owe it to them after I spent so long trying to work out how to say it. When I go back... I don't want them to wonder for a single moment. I want them to know for sure that I really do love them. This time, I want to make it really work. I want to be an idol and a mom and I don't care who fights me about it.
[ Her hand drifts up. There's chaos and carnage and ancient magic playing out across the screen right now but as she brushes some of his hair back, her eyes are exclusively on him. ]
So do your best not to get jealous of my fans. You kind of seem like the type.
[ The flame-spewing dragon, the rampaging black dog, a man whose love could not be understood... chaos and carnage is the best way to describe it, yet they can't help but be engrossed in each other. ]
Hah... it'll be a goddamn pain, but...
[ He returns the favor, brushing aside her hair and returning her gaze. ]
You always have been a handful, so it's not like it'll be any different.
[ He might complain when she makes a point about how he's not allowed to mark her so thoroughly when she's actually an idol, though. ]
[ Another smile. It's softer and a little more tentative than her smiles usually are but somehow, it suits her more. ]
Heehee. Alright. Maybe I can talk Prez Saitou into hiring you as my bodyguard, just so you can make sure there's no funny business going on.
[ Not in a million years. But it's pretty funny to imagine.
She drops her hand and tilts her face up just enough to press a kiss to his jaw before she settles back down and turns her attention back to the screen. It's about time for the final act, after all. ]
I'd make it work, somehow. I just have to figure out how exactly.
[ Yes - even with what she's about to see, she's still holding herself to that. ]
Hah! An idol and her bodyguard... practically asking for a scandal now, aren't you?
[ As if he, the most suspicious guy ever, would ever be accepted as a bodyguard. Not that he's ever met "Saitou" in more than just her memories, but he can imagine how well that conversation would go.
...Well, for now, he supposes he should focus on trying to reach that bridge at all before he considers crossing it.
The battle ends, the curtain closes... the faerie of paradise sacrifices her life at last, the spinster faerie fades away like mist, and the divine corpse is destroyed along with it's endless sea of curses.
It's time for the curtains to fall on this tragedy, yet inexplicably, everything starts to collapse. ]
"But we dealt with all the calamities! There shouldn't be anything left to threaten Britain! So why is the collapse beginning now!? There's no sign of a new enemy anywhere!"
"Sure there is. You just didn't notice it because you'd been looking at it the whole time. Remember that mural in Londinium? THere was a depiction of the Prophecy of Destruction Cernunnos' priestess made just as she was being dismembered. 'As the world grows newer, unbeknownst to all, its roots will grow older... until one day, they will be so brittle as to crumble with a bite from a single, insignificant insect.' That prophecy wasn't about Britain's future. What you're seeing now is what happens when the roots of even the strongest human history are gnawed through. Soon, the entire planet will be gone, as though it never existed."
"...I knew it."
"Huh? You mean you've been on to me, Fujimaru? Well, that sucks. Now I feel silly for biding my time waiting for the perfect moment to make my reappearance. But, really, so what? I never bothered to hide it from you in the first place. Of all my little pawns, you were by far the most insignificant."
"..."
"Oh? What's wrong, Blanca? Your pretty antennae stopped moving. Ah. You're dead. Were you taking all the mors' poison being directed at me from all of Britain, in my place? Thanks, I guess. Not that it really matters."
[ There he is, the true villain of this story, the doomsday device designed to destroy Britain, yet aiming for the destruction of the whole world. Well, it's not like he ever hid his villainous nature from Ai. His softer side, sure... but the Faerie King aside, he was always the very picture of a villain. ]
[ A horrible thought surfaces in her mind as she watches: Being the villain really does suit him better.
It's a cruel thing to think. In a story like this, nothing good comes of being the villain. The best you can expect is to be scorned and rejected even as the heroes sympathize with you, just to make a show of how pure and good they are. They'll smash you into the dirt all the same but you know they're the heroes because doing it makes them feel just a little bad.
But in a twisted way, it's more honest. Even if she can tell he's pouring out more lies the whole time. The bitterness, the frustration and the contempt - that feels much more real than the cheery, affable Faerie King. Like this, you could almost mistake him for something human. After all, it's only humans whose hearts end up so terribly cracked and filthy. ]
Mm. You really did pull this off much better.
[ It's bizarre. Up on screen, he's preparing to bring the whole world down with him, the very picture of the most loathsome sort of villain imaginable. And here she is, shamelessly perched in his lap like it's exactly where she belongs.
She wonders which one is the bigger lie. ]
You were scary like this back when I first summoned you.
[ It's cruel, and yet despite knowing that... he smiles. As if finally his performance is getting some appreciation, especially after she had literally burst into laughter at his introduction as the Faerie King. ]
Hah, good. It would've damaged my pride if you didn't think I was scary back then.
[ It was peculiar, after all. When Fujimaru summoned him, he appeared first as the Faerie King. That much had been his own choice, at least... but when Ai summoned him, he appeared as Vortigern. He had no choice but to appear as Vortigern.
Yet another result of their compatibility, he imagines.
Onscreen is the sight of his "true form", one that Ai herself has witnessed. That massive gaping hole in the world taking the form of something that was both insect and dragon. ]
"Tell me your True Name, Oberon."
"...Well, since you asked, I'd be happy to oblige."
"...Senpai. Oberon's form—no, his very Spirit Origin is—"
[ And at last, the facade completely crumbles. ]
"I swear, these faeries are just unbelievable. First, they kill a god and use his body to create a small island to replace the land that disappeared because of their screwup. Then, still not satisfied, they kill uncountable numbers of their own kind to fill in the sea and make an entire landmass from their corpses. Ugh, their sheer audacity and greed is enough to make me sick. Don't you agree, Fujimaru? Even as a human, you think they're pretty awful... so imagine how disgusted the original Britain must be with them after it was returned to nothing. No wonder it sent calamities after them to try and wipe them all out."
"Oberon..."
"Anyway, Cernunnos wasn't part of it. In some way, he was actually trying to protect the faeries. The only reason I made it up to the surface now is because he's finally gone. Morgan ensured Faerie Britain's creation by sealing Cernunnos away instead of defeating him. I honestly wasn't sure what to do. I certainly had no means of defeating Morgan myself. So, I waited. I waited for a human who could defeat her to appear. I waited for someone who could pop the lid off Cernunnos and finally get rid of him. The Child of Prophecy was just the chance I was waiting for. It was even a kind of amusing idea. So I helped it along a little. I did my part to ensure the Child of Prophecy would set off on her journey, and successfully complete her pilgrimage... all so you could be the ones to ruin everything you were working towards."
"Tell us your name, Oberon!!!"
"Gladly.
I've taken the form of Oberon the Faerie King, a fantasy, a fiction created by your own Proper Human History. I'm the embodiment of Britain's will—the very will that wished for it's own destruction when the Age of Mystics ended.
...My name is Vortigern. Oberon Vortigern. I'm the Abyssal Worm who destroyed Faerie Britain, with a little help from all of you."
[ ...in hindsight, he must have felt rather relieved to finally let it all out like this. He really is rather talkative, isn't he? ]
[ It's shocking entirely for how unshocking it is. It's too huge - too unreal for someone like her to really comprehend. In some strange way, she'd have been more stunned and upset if he'd proved to be a simple murderer, a mundanely evil existence on a level she could make sense of. But this...
No wonder it's being shown like a movie. How could something like this ever have happened in real life? She's a Master in her own right, pathetic as she is, and she can barely even accept it. ]
You sure do love to talk. [ Her voice is a little dry. ] If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd been writing that speech in your head since you got summoned.
[ . . . ]
Which one is right? Your name, I mean. I call you Oberon, but...
[ The one that's really him is the one she should use, right? ]
[ He doesn't blame her for being overwhelmed. Hell, she and Fujimaru are alike in that regard, but Fujimaru has the benefit of this being far from their first rodeo. No one else in the world has as much experience with world-ending threads than them... an ordinary person who just so happened to have Rayshift and Master compatibility, and has been fighting for humanity for a long time. ]
Heh, no such luck... I was just letting everything I kept tucked away out for once.
[ The best monologues are the ones improvised off the top of one's head, right? ]
Both are correct. I'm the Vile King, Vortigern... but Vortigern is, by itself, just a concept. The forms he takes vary... hell, before I was "Oberon", I was the "Mors King", and after I was defeated, I returned as a Heroic Spirit using "Oberon" as the basis for my existence. In Proper Human History, Vortigern was the White Dragon to King Arthur's existence as the Red Dragon.
[ ...it occurs to him that a lot of that might just be flying over Ai's head, but what can he say? Habits are hard to break, and his talkative tendencies seem to be one of them. ]
...Put simply, it'd be weird if you started calling me something else after all this time. Besides, "Oberon" rolls off the tongue better than "Vortigern", doesn't it?
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no subject
[ His clawed hand finds hers again and grips it. ]
I'll admit it, Morgan did a splendid job with the cards she was dealt... but it was always going to end this way.
[ A long-dead land being artificially kept alive for 14,000 years... delaying the inevitable was all one ever could do, as the faeries themselves squandered whatever hope they had for something better. Twice did they reject the savior sent to them... Artoria's winter memories prove that much.
And yet... ]
"Ngh... Gaaah, that was nasty! The faeries at your place are pretty horrible, you know that!?"
"H-Huh!? D-Did you just talk, staff!?"
[ Honestly, it wasn't a very good lie. He sounds exactly like himself, and not at all like the actual Merlin who Ai has now seen for herself. ]
"No, I'm not the Staff of Selection. I'm just a nosy old busybody. Ugh, I swear... I wasn't planning on getting involved, but now I just don't think I have a choice. Listen up. I'm Merlin. Merlin, the Mage of Flowers. I'm going to be your teacher from now on. Don't forget it."
[ "My Winter Memory... wasn't all that bleak." ]
no subject
Okay, maybe the mood isn't really right to be making fun of him. But she really can't help herself. ]
Merlin, huh.
[ She doesn't take her eyes of the screen so there's no way to see her expression but. Somehow, the tone of her voice is enough. ]
Sure. I totally buy it.
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[ This time, he actually felt somewhat prepared for Ai's commentary on that front, as if he's aware of how bad of a lie it was.
But thinking about it from the perspective of a liar like him... that just meant that "Merlin aided Artoria Caster" was made into a lie. That it wasn't the mage of flowers who came to her aid, but himself.
It's no wonder, then, that her magecraft is the way it is... his teaching method was about as unorthodox as you can get. She would ask to learn something, he would leave for a few days to learn it himself, customize it so that Artoria could use it with her limited magical energy, then impart that knowledge onto her. ]
"Hmm, I see. So you'd need a tool you can charge with magical energy, and a spell you can use to make gunpowder explode? ...This is dangerously close to magical terrorism."
[
Honestly that speaks more to Artoria's preferences than his.Yet despite his witty remarks and foul mouth—that was almost certainly imparted onto Artoria herself, considering the way she is in the present—he taught her everything (within reason, he still can't fly) without complaint.For a few years, before the staff was eventually confiscated from her, he had essentially raised her... hadn't he? ]
no subject
[ It's... well, she doesn't want to call it cute. That makes it all sound so twee and lighthearted which it pointedly hadn't been. But she can't help but wonder if even this tiny slice of togetherness had been just as much for Oberon's sake as it had been for that girl's.
Chasing a star you know you'll never reach is all sorts of lonely, after all. ]
I don't want you ever teaching Aqua or Ruby any of this if you ever meet them, by the way. They're clever enough to pick it all up and that's exactly what worries me.
no subject
[ He says, as if it wouldn't be a whole hassle to have to teach anybody else. The spells he taught Artoria were specifically tailored for her to use with their minimal pool of magical energy at the time. If he were to teach anyone else he'd have to do that all over again for them... though if Ai is any indication, he doubts either of her children would have a particularly large pool of magical energy to take from either. ]
Besides, I'd have to earn their trust somehow, right? If I ever meet them, that is.
[
As if he wouldn't be starting below-ground in that regard with them.]no subject
[ She'd said it as a joke but... what would have to happen for him to meet them? Would they have to come here? ... Would Oberon come back with her, if she ever managed to go home?
No matter how she turns the idea over in her head, she can't quite figure out how to make it work. None of it ever feels quite real.
She turns her attention back to the screen - to the girl's ill-fated spring memories - before she speaks up again. ]
If I could take you back with me, then I would, you know.
no subject
[ His arms grip her a little tighter. It's not a conversation they could avoid having, isn't it? If they win... if he obtains the grail for her, what happens then. Obviously, sending Ai back with a second chance is a given, a chance to not answer that door... to keep the door chain on, call the police, live to perform at the dome—but more importantly, live out the rest of her life with her children...
...but what about him?
What place does a doomsday device like him have in that life? Just a memory? A Midsummer Night's Dream? ]
...Well, that depends on what's possible with the grail. [ He starts talking in his usual flippant attitude, of course. ] Still, regardless of what happens, so long as I live on in your memories—in your dreams—then that's good enough for me.
[ But he's lying. ]
no subject
But she doesn't. Instead she huffs out a sigh and shakes her head. ]
Maybe it's good enough for you. But that's nowhere near good enough for me. Sorry to say, but my memory's actually pretty bad. So we'll have to do better than that.
[ Assuming they even get close to winning, of course. Oberon had promised and she believes him and yet... ]
I guess I'll have to figure out a really greedy wish.
no subject
[ He's glad she can't see his face like this, the way he bites his bottom lip. It was him who told her to be greedy, wasn't it? This is what he told her to be...
The idea of living out a proper life alongside the star he had considered to be forever out of his reach... it feels so ridiculous, so perfect that it hurts. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever wished for, everything he's always considered to be something he can never have.
It feels too good to be true. His kneejerk reaction is to deny it, but...
Chasing after a star that doesn't exist, that's all he's ever done, isn't it? ]
Damn it... what the hell...
[ His arms around her waist tighten so much it's bound to start hurting a little, but he can't help it. ]
Do whatever you want, then...
no subject
[ Playfully, yes - but when she says that, it occurs to her that it sounds just a little too much like a promise.
Maybe this one, she'll have a chance of keeping.
Once more, she leans back against him, tucking her head against his neck. If he needs to hold onto her then she's here. ]
There's just a little more to go, right? I told you I'd stay up until the end.
no subject
If nothing else, he wants to ensure that she regains her happiness as a mother. If that requires sacrificing her happiness as a Master, then he'll sacrifice that himself if she won't.
Even if that's at his expense... well, if he can bear with falling into an endless abyss, he can handle that as well. ]
Mm...
[ He'll chase that star, just as Artoria did... but if he can't reach it, then he'll at least cherish it while it's by his side.
Artoria's Autumn Memories... in place of "Merlin", there was at least Ector. With a grumpy old blacksmith at her side for the rest of her time in Tintagel, it's no wonder she got along with Muramasa... yet even that was a tragedy. ]
"Thanks, but no thanks. If I brought something of my own back, they'd just take it away again."
[ Arguably, it could be said that her Summer Memories were worse. She couldn't kill him, even though the Faeries demanded that of her. The town was burned to the ground, not even by Woodwose's hand, but by themselves... and in the end, even Ector was lost to her. ]
"Yes, that's right. Creating the holy sword's conceptual foundation will destroy everything she was, is, and ever will be. That is the faerie of paradise's duty, her function. And even then, the holy sword won't be easy to forge. Everything about her—every experience she's had, all her memories, even Spirit Origin, her very fate—will be used as materials to make it. It's not a sacrifice. It is an equivalent exchange... and it has to be her. It can't be anyone else."
[ And yet despite all of that, her Spring Memories... ]
"...I see. Well, that was easy, huh!? It was literally over before I knew it! So that's the Site of Selection on top of that hill, huh? Okay! Last one there's a rotten egg!"
"...I can't believe it. All those horrible memories, and even at the end, she...!"
"...I know. It just ain't right. But you know, Fujimaru, if nothing else, I'm glad you're so damn pissed off about it. So look. Whatever happens next, just let the old man here handle it."
[ There was no moment in her life when she was ever truly happy. Her spring memories were meant to be, as Merlin put it, "fun times and fun times only". The simple pleasures in her life, like feeling satisfied after a good meal... except she had none of those. Just moments that allowed her to cope with the pain, but the pain never stopped.
Her spring memories were the people in front of her... that's all. She would disappear just like that in order to create the Holy Sword, putting an end to this world and granting Chaldea a weapon to use against their true enemy. By every definition of the word, it was a tragedy. ]
"Yeah? Can't end things just yet then, can you?"
[ But at the very least, there was one person there able to give her a brief respite when no one else could. ]
"Don't worry about it. I'm doing this 'cause it's what I want, just like you. This was always my destiny. That said... I'm sorry I never got to make you that barrette."
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Come on. Nobody really believes that. When girls bleed themselves dry with a smile, when they laugh and perform and put their hearts into everyone else's hands so it can be reduced to pulp, when they get absolutely nothing back from any of it - how exactly is that equivalent exchange? How exactly is that a fair trade?
Well. It's fair for everybody else. Acceptable collateral damage, if anyone even thinks about it at all. Farmers stop crying over sheep going to slaughter pretty quick if they even think to shed any tears at all, right? ]
She didn't even get to keep her memories to herself, huh. [ If it sounds bitter, it's because she is. ] They really wanted to take everything.
[ "That's just how it always goes." ]
... Have you ever seen any of mine like this? If I can peek in here at yours, then...
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That didn't make him hate it any less. ]
...I have. The connection between Servant and Master means it's actually quite common for that kind of thing to bleed through in the form of dreams.
[ That night, that first night after her first experience in combat, that first time they started to bare their hearts to each other... he had seen it. ]
...he didn't deserve your love. You know that, right?
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A gouging, gaping wound. Rusty pain, the coppery taste of blood in her teeth and the reek of it in her nose. A wretched, helpless sort of calm, a sense of surrender that call only be called despair.
Oh. That's not happening now, is it? Oberon's here. She's not even in her own home. When did she start gripping the front of her dress again? Everything's fine. It's a little hard to breathe properly. ]
... Maybe not.
[ Her voice is a little airy as she says it. Like her chest is constricted - or like all the air is bleeding out of her even as she pulls it in. ]
But that's why it's even more important that I try. Because if I can love somebody who doesn't deserve it, then it really would be the real thing, right? And maybe I could...
[ "Maybe I could try loving myself, too."
Nobody deserves it less, after all. ]
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Idiot...
[ She had already found "real" love with her children... and to the very end, she had been overflowing with it, hadn't she? And to say she was undeserving of it herself...
Well, it's not like he can talk in that regard, but... still... ]
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Well, if she's already being this pathetic, she might as well really indulge.
She pulls her feet up - was she ever wearing shoes when she got here? she doesn't remember - and settles them onto the seat so she can tuck herself more tightly into him. For as clingy and needy for her touch as he'd been, Ai knows she's just as bad. ]
I don't think it was a mistake. [ Still in that low, airy voice. ] I'm glad that I tried. It meant I knew how to do it properly when the time finally came.
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[ "You're an idiot, then" he thinks, but refrains from saying. He supposes this is one difference between them, then. Oberon was unworthy of love, so he rejected it... Hoshino Ai, meanwhile, gave it endlessly.
Well, he supposes it was very much her to do so... she had the benefit of being human, after all. Her words could become the truth, unlike his. ]
Well... you know love now, don't you? Save that kind of thing for them from now on...
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Aah, you're right. Maybe I should. I owe it to them after I spent so long trying to work out how to say it. When I go back... I don't want them to wonder for a single moment. I want them to know for sure that I really do love them. This time, I want to make it really work. I want to be an idol and a mom and I don't care who fights me about it.
[ Her hand drifts up. There's chaos and carnage and ancient magic playing out across the screen right now but as she brushes some of his hair back, her eyes are exclusively on him. ]
So do your best not to get jealous of my fans. You kind of seem like the type.
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Hah... it'll be a goddamn pain, but...
[ He returns the favor, brushing aside her hair and returning her gaze. ]
You always have been a handful, so it's not like it'll be any different.
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He might complain when she makes a point about how he's not allowed to mark her so thoroughly when she's actually an idol, though.]no subject
Heehee. Alright. Maybe I can talk Prez Saitou into hiring you as my bodyguard, just so you can make sure there's no funny business going on.
[ Not in a million years. But it's pretty funny to imagine.
She drops her hand and tilts her face up just enough to press a kiss to his jaw before she settles back down and turns her attention back to the screen. It's about time for the final act, after all. ]
I'd make it work, somehow. I just have to figure out how exactly.
[ Yes - even with what she's about to see, she's still holding herself to that. ]
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[ As if he, the most suspicious guy ever, would ever be accepted as a bodyguard. Not that he's ever met "Saitou" in more than just her memories, but he can imagine how well that conversation would go.
...Well, for now, he supposes he should focus on trying to reach that bridge at all before he considers crossing it.
The battle ends, the curtain closes... the faerie of paradise sacrifices her life at last, the spinster faerie fades away like mist, and the divine corpse is destroyed along with it's endless sea of curses.
It's time for the curtains to fall on this tragedy, yet inexplicably, everything starts to collapse. ]
"But we dealt with all the calamities! There shouldn't be anything left to threaten Britain! So why is the collapse beginning now!? There's no sign of a new enemy anywhere!"
"Sure there is. You just didn't notice it because you'd been looking at it the whole time. Remember that mural in Londinium? THere was a depiction of the Prophecy of Destruction Cernunnos' priestess made just as she was being dismembered. 'As the world grows newer, unbeknownst to all, its roots will grow older... until one day, they will be so brittle as to crumble with a bite from a single, insignificant insect.' That prophecy wasn't about Britain's future. What you're seeing now is what happens when the roots of even the strongest human history are gnawed through. Soon, the entire planet will be gone, as though it never existed."
"...I knew it."
"Huh? You mean you've been on to me, Fujimaru? Well, that sucks. Now I feel silly for biding my time waiting for the perfect moment to make my reappearance. But, really, so what? I never bothered to hide it from you in the first place. Of all my little pawns, you were by far the most insignificant."
"..."
"Oh? What's wrong, Blanca? Your pretty antennae stopped moving. Ah. You're dead. Were you taking all the mors' poison being directed at me from all of Britain, in my place? Thanks, I guess. Not that it really matters."
[ There he is, the true villain of this story, the doomsday device designed to destroy Britain, yet aiming for the destruction of the whole world. Well, it's not like he ever hid his villainous nature from Ai. His softer side, sure... but the Faerie King aside, he was always the very picture of a villain. ]
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It's a cruel thing to think. In a story like this, nothing good comes of being the villain. The best you can expect is to be scorned and rejected even as the heroes sympathize with you, just to make a show of how pure and good they are. They'll smash you into the dirt all the same but you know they're the heroes because doing it makes them feel just a little bad.
But in a twisted way, it's more honest. Even if she can tell he's pouring out more lies the whole time. The bitterness, the frustration and the contempt - that feels much more real than the cheery, affable Faerie King. Like this, you could almost mistake him for something human. After all, it's only humans whose hearts end up so terribly cracked and filthy. ]
Mm. You really did pull this off much better.
[ It's bizarre. Up on screen, he's preparing to bring the whole world down with him, the very picture of the most loathsome sort of villain imaginable. And here she is, shamelessly perched in his lap like it's exactly where she belongs.
She wonders which one is the bigger lie. ]
You were scary like this back when I first summoned you.
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Hah, good. It would've damaged my pride if you didn't think I was scary back then.
[ It was peculiar, after all. When Fujimaru summoned him, he appeared first as the Faerie King. That much had been his own choice, at least... but when Ai summoned him, he appeared as Vortigern. He had no choice but to appear as Vortigern.
Yet another result of their compatibility, he imagines.
Onscreen is the sight of his "true form", one that Ai herself has witnessed. That massive gaping hole in the world taking the form of something that was both insect and dragon. ]
"Tell me your True Name, Oberon."
"...Well, since you asked, I'd be happy to oblige."
"...Senpai. Oberon's form—no, his very Spirit Origin is—"
[ And at last, the facade completely crumbles. ]
"I swear, these faeries are just unbelievable. First, they kill a god and use his body to create a small island to replace the land that disappeared because of their screwup. Then, still not satisfied, they kill uncountable numbers of their own kind to fill in the sea and make an entire landmass from their corpses. Ugh, their sheer audacity and greed is enough to make me sick. Don't you agree, Fujimaru? Even as a human, you think they're pretty awful... so imagine how disgusted the original Britain must be with them after it was returned to nothing. No wonder it sent calamities after them to try and wipe them all out."
"Oberon..."
"Anyway, Cernunnos wasn't part of it. In some way, he was actually trying to protect the faeries. The only reason I made it up to the surface now is because he's finally gone. Morgan ensured Faerie Britain's creation by sealing Cernunnos away instead of defeating him. I honestly wasn't sure what to do. I certainly had no means of defeating Morgan myself. So, I waited. I waited for a human who could defeat her to appear. I waited for someone who could pop the lid off Cernunnos and finally get rid of him. The Child of Prophecy was just the chance I was waiting for. It was even a kind of amusing idea. So I helped it along a little. I did my part to ensure the Child of Prophecy would set off on her journey, and successfully complete her pilgrimage... all so you could be the ones to ruin everything you were working towards."
"Tell us your name, Oberon!!!"
"Gladly.
I've taken the form of Oberon the Faerie King, a fantasy, a fiction created by your own Proper Human History. I'm the embodiment of Britain's will—the very will that wished for it's own destruction when the Age of Mystics ended.
...My name is Vortigern. Oberon Vortigern. I'm the Abyssal Worm who destroyed Faerie Britain, with a little help from all of you."
[ ...in hindsight, he must have felt rather relieved to finally let it all out like this. He really is rather talkative, isn't he? ]
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No wonder it's being shown like a movie. How could something like this ever have happened in real life? She's a Master in her own right, pathetic as she is, and she can barely even accept it. ]
You sure do love to talk. [ Her voice is a little dry. ] If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd been writing that speech in your head since you got summoned.
[ . . . ]
Which one is right? Your name, I mean. I call you Oberon, but...
[ The one that's really him is the one she should use, right? ]
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Heh, no such luck... I was just letting everything I kept tucked away out for once.
[ The best monologues are the ones improvised off the top of one's head, right? ]
Both are correct. I'm the Vile King, Vortigern... but Vortigern is, by itself, just a concept. The forms he takes vary... hell, before I was "Oberon", I was the "Mors King", and after I was defeated, I returned as a Heroic Spirit using "Oberon" as the basis for my existence. In Proper Human History, Vortigern was the White Dragon to King Arthur's existence as the Red Dragon.
[ ...it occurs to him that a lot of that might just be flying over Ai's head, but what can he say? Habits are hard to break, and his talkative tendencies seem to be one of them. ]
...Put simply, it'd be weird if you started calling me something else after all this time. Besides, "Oberon" rolls off the tongue better than "Vortigern", doesn't it?
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