[First comes a slow, hot exhale. Then, Rinne kisses that spot harder.
He doesn't like being given things on a silver platter. Ai's sounds and shivers are nothing like that. Rinne worked for this. He killed a part of himself to get this far in this life, and being with her, he has never felt more alive. He thought that maybe after all his failures, he didn't deserve these things anymore, but when she offers them to him, what else is he supposed to do but grab them? He was born to take
But for Ai, he loves to serve.
Against her mound, he hums and swallows.]
So this is all mine, huh?
[Back in his village, what belonged to him belonged to everybody. Whatever he wanted to keep, he stashed away like a dirty secret. What he and Ai are doing isn't so different from his short excursions to his secret childhood base. But as with each visit he'd make whenever the elders were away, somehow doing something naughty made it all the sweeter.]
Fuck your ex. He's missing out.
[He slides his fingers out, tightens his grip on her thighs, and sinks his mouth deeper. Maybe it's charity. He doesn't get anything from this. But his warm tongue pushes into her slit, lapping up her juices whenever they trickle from her folds, and when he hears her whimper, he starts to think he wouldn't mind doing this forever.]
[ Ai's lips part like she means to give him an answer, her expression sweetly surprise and embarrassed - but she doesn't get a chance before her breath ends up stolen right out of her. A moan chokes itself off at the back of her throat when his tongue finds its way inside her, sending pleasure snapping up through her like a line drawn too tight. The intensity of the sensation makes her squirm but Rinne's grip on her thighs is tight enough that she's at no risk from accidentally pulling away from the heat of his mouth.
She feels a little dizzy. She feels wonderfully overwhelmed. Even with the roaring water and the sound of her moans rising up from her mouth, the slick wet sounds of his tongue inside her are loud and filthy and maybe it's just to her but the noise of it all sends a helpless thrill right up her spine.
She's not a pure girl in the least. But the way Rinne does it - Ai knows for sure that she's never been touched and teased and loved quite like this. ]
Mmn, like that- [ The mingling of approval and plea in her voice is almost helpless. ] - it feels so good like that, I love it...!
[Rinne doesn't reply. His mouth is too busy stretching her pink folds wide, sucking on Ai's slit and drawing sounds out of her throat. He doesn't let a drop go to waste. After all, this is his. Her trembling waist, her sweet voice, all of it.
He lifts his mouth to kiss the inside of her thigh and pull on the supple flesh as he bites. His eyes meet hers again, a dazzling blue that burns brightly in the night, gazing at her like she was prey. If he's going to mark her here, he wants her to feel it.
His kisses move upward. As his hands lovingly glide up her thighs, his lips travel up the jut of her bones and her tight stomach, kissing every surface as if he could hear it beg to be loved. Being bathed in her light felt like this. If he could burn that feeling back into her...]
Hey.
[He rises, kissing the underside of her breast.]
You'll only do this with me, right? You won't look at anyone else?
[ When Rinne's teeth sink into her thigh, Ai lets out a noise so shamefully, desperately hot and wanton that she can hardly believe the sound of her own voice even as it rises out of her. The ache of the bite, combined with the way Rinne draws so patiently on the delicate skin there... for a moment her head tips back and her eyes close before she manages to meet his gaze again.
It feels so good, the sharp spike of feeling that cuts through the sweet, flushing attention his mouth and hands are lavishing her with - she would never even once have thought of herself as an M in the slightest but the idea of Rinne marking her skin with his teeth, just enough to sting and bruise makes her ache.
If she's his prey, then that's fine. So long as it's Rinne, letting herself get eaten doesn't sound so bad in the slightest. ]
Of course. I don't want anybody else. If it's not you, there's no point.
[ Her voice is breathy and shaken from the feeling Rinne's wrung out of her. But it's so earnest, too. Affectionate and sweet and real. Her fingers don't rest - running up over the hard planes of Rinne's shoulders and back, lingering at the nape of his neck to curl into his hair when he leans in towards her. ]
Now I've got you, I don't need to look at anybody else ever again. I'm all yours.
[Rinne doesn't hesitate. He takes Ai's breast between his lips and savors her in the way he said he would, in the way that pinched her thighs and tickled her very core. He devours her ravenously. He hums as he sucks on the tender peaks of her breast, breathing her in, and moans when his tongue tastes the salty skin. He leaves trails of kisses up her neck. She's delicious, and she doesn't even have to dress herself to make him think that. The meal is not her meat. He's after the thigh beating in her chest, the one that beats against it when he kisses her each time. He's the one who can make her do that. He's the one who can make her happy.]
Good. [He kisses her deep. He rasps against her lips.] Then look at me. Tell me what you want.
[Because his fingers are inside her again, rhythmically frantic, working her hard until she screams his name and comes.]
[ Just like the way a fever leaves you, Rinne's touch has her skin oversensitive and tingling. Just as he'd promised, he leaves her wet and sore in all the places his mouth has touched and the ache of it goes right through her. It's so unbearably lovely she can hardly stand it and his hands are even worse. She'd admitted as much out loud to him but it's a little shameful still just how much and how long she'd thought about having them on and inside her and she's delighted to find that the reality is so much better than she'd thought. They're so much bigger and stronger than her own but more than that, it's that Rinne's touching her so roughly and eagerly, not like she's something fragile to be handled with care. And for no other reason than to make her feel good. ]
Mm - ah, Rinne-kun... I want-
[ She huffs it sweetly into his mouth between each kiss and every moan. She's not allowed to ask for the things she really want. She has to sneak them away and then play dumb when she gets caught with them. It's always that much easier to ask forgiveness than permission, after all. But with Rinne, that rule seems to have turned on its head. He'd give her anything she wanted and never even think it's something that needs to be forgiven. All she has to do is ask.
So how is she supposed to resist? ]
Keep touching me like this and - for the rest of the night, keep loving me like this, and tomorrow, too- until we go home, I want more of all this...!
[ Her voice finally breaks. His fingers are so slick and deep and hot inside her that she just can't stand it anymore. She almost bends double, her forehead pressed into his shoulder and when she comes, it's with Rinne's name spilling out of her mouth, high and helpless while her hips rock up just helplessly into the pressure of his hand.
She's a trembling, satisfied mess when she finally lets herself slump bonelessly against him, clinging onto his arms like she doesn't quite trust herself to stay upright without his support. When she said her legs weren't quite up to working properly, that was supposed to be a joke. ]
There's something about someone saying him name like this that gets him going. He loves it when he makes the crowd go wild, so it only follows that he'd love it when Ai cries his name out, too. What he didn't know is how hot he would get under his skin after every wanton whine and ragged breath. He didn't know how good it would feel to hear someone beg him to love them. It's his job, after all. No one asks their king to hold them and smile. They only expect him to do things right. So when Ai breaks the rules to brazenly ask him for this... He can't help himself.]
Good girl.
[He pets her hair and kisses her there, the smile in his voice warm and infinitely pleased. In his arms, he holds her steady and close.]
This might be too cliché, but god, you're so cute when you're honest. Don't worry, Ai. Until we get home, I'm gonna spoil you rotten♡
[As someone who wasn't allowed to love anything, he's always wanted to do that.]
I don't think we're making it to dinner at this rate. Can you stand?
[ A warm, shaky laugh comes rushing out of her, breathy and soft and sweet. Rinne's been nothing but unfair since they got back to their room but calling her a good girl in that voice while she's still trembling and clinging to him is definitely a step too far. That's absolutely not a complaint of course - it's just the payback she'd asked for and she'd loved every second of it.
Three whole nights, huh. Is she even going to be fit to go back to work by the time they're done with each other? ]
I warned you. I just knew it'd turn out like this.
[ And yet she was the one who started it. At least he can't say he didn't know what he was getting into. Her fingers curl around his arms and she turns her face so she can press her cheek into his chest. Even with all the hot water and steam in the air, Rinne's so wonderfully warm. ]
I should be able to walk... if you give me a minute. Jeez, the was so good my head's still spinning...
[ Rinne laughs and grins, his gaze fond and sweet. Good. Ai deserves it. ]
It woulda happened either way. Even I get sick of being responsible.
[ And hasn't he been responsible this whole time? He hasn't kissed or touched Ai up until today. He was pretty good at keeping himself in check, he thinks.
With a gentle knuckle, he nudges her free cheek. She's red all over... Is this what he looked like earlier? The look is much cuter on her. Oh man, he thinks he wants to eat her up like that every night now... Ahh, no! This is exactly why he didn't want to do this before getting married! ]
I gotta make sure ya eat, though. How's a quick conbini run after this sound?
I don't know if I could run it after all that. [ said with a little grin. ] But a walk sounds nice.
[ Maybe it'll clear her head enough that she won't immediately forget dinner the instant they get back to their hotel room. Again. ... And if it's a decently stocked convenience store then she can potentially solve the other problem they have on their hands right now. Yes, they're being totally irresponsible already as it is, but there's a difference between that and just begging for trouble.
... Running to the conbini to buy dinner and, uh, other things for the rest of a ryokan vacation with her boyfriend. If Saitou ever finds out about any of this, the jokes about his blood pressure are going to stop being jokes really fast. ]
Give me a minute to rinse out my hair? Then we can change into something fresh and head out. I'm pretty sure I saw the conbini on our way here, so it won't be a big trip.
[The rest of their shower is uneventful, but maybe Ai will find it interesting how Rinne helps wash her hair and, when she's done, turns the water off for her. When they leave the shower, he guides her by the hand. Around her, he wraps a dry, fluffy towel.
He kisses her cheek.]
Let me dry your hair, too...
[All his stress is gone. It's almost as if he's found a new pet to dote on. The thought of needing to buy anything else at the conbini hasn't crossed his mind, but that's something to note for another time.]
[ Ai's always known Rinne as the tactile, affectionate type - in comparison to her, anyway - but this is... new. This is nice. It's cozy and tender and she's a little taken by surprise just how easily she wants to sink into it. She's so used to worrying about what everyone else wants that having someone else tend to her like this... maybe it's okay to indulge, so long as it's Rinne. ]
Heehee. Alright. Here, let me...
[ She tugs the stool out from by the sink and settles herself down on it. Then she glances back at him. If she's already indulging then asking for a little more is probably fine, right? ]
[Rinne laughs fondly.] My Ai-chan is sooo spoiled. Sure, I'll do it.
[Even he thinks he's having way too much fun with this. When he dries her hair, it's as if it's something he's already used to. Once her locks are no longer too heavy and wet, he combs through them with his fingers as he works through the places he missed. Only then does he reach for the brush.]
[ Between the whir of the hairdryer, the warm air blowing against her skin and Rinne's gentle fingers in her hair, Ai feels decidedly soothed and she lets her eyes slide shut to enjoy it all the more. She has stylists and beauticians curl and tug and tie her hair into all kinds of styles all the time before she gets pushed out on stage but Rinne's careful, attentive touch is entirely different. She could get used to this kind of pampering just a little too easily.
Rinne wouldn't mind, right? This is the sort of thing married couples are supposed to do. ... She thinks. Not that they're close to counting as one of those just yet. ]
You did promise to spoil me. So I'm just taking you up on that.
[ Teasing as her words are, her voice is warm, lazy and pleased as well. ]
Since I'm so nice, I might let you do it for me next time, too. If you really want.
Really? [His laughter is a mix of relief and disbelief. It's a miracle he's even next to her to begin with.] When we tie the knot, I'll get to do it all the time.
[But the way he says it is giddy and gentle, not at all like the man who flirted with her at every turn.]
Would you really like that? Living together forever with me?
[ Ai's heart stumbles in her chest. But not unpleasantly.
That's what marriage is supposed to be like, right? It's a way of saying you want to be with someone forever. But the idea of being together had been a little vague in her brain and it's only when Rinne says living together that it solidifies a bit into something tangible. Something she can actually imagine.
Living together means waking up in the morning and having breakfast together. It means talking about your plans when you kiss goodbye at the door then meeting back at the table later to talk about your day. It means - the way Rinne talks about it - being family.
She's only started to understand what that means over the last few years. She'd never had one until she went and made her own, after all. To her, it's a word that means her, Aqua and Ruby - and she's surprised to realize just how easy is it to imagine Rinne slotting into that space, too. She remembers that selfish little daydream she'd had of bringing Ruby and Aqua to meet him, privately playacting like they were on a family outing but now she lets herself sketch out something a little different. Instead of Miyako sending her off to work while she looks after the twins, it's Rinne seeing her off with a smile and a kiss and when Ai steps out of the door she calls back over her shoulder to Aqua and Ruby -
"Be good for your papa, okay?"
Could she really have something that lovely? Does Rinne even want it?
Is she even allowed to ask? ]
... I would. I really, really would. But I-
[ Her throat is tight. She swallows, so she can try and get some of the words loose enough to speak.
Rinne accepts her as she is. He'd promised he would. But even now, the idea of putting her heart into his hands only for it to be crushed, even though she doesn't want to think for a second that he would, not on purpose...
It's terrifying. ]
... Rinne-kun. When you talk about family... I want that too. But it wouldn't just be me and you.
[ Deep breath. She feels dizzy. She feels sick. She's wanted to say this to someone for so, so long so why is it so damn hard? ]
Being with me means... being with Aqua and Ruby, too.
[ Rinne's lips part, his eyes showing only the slightest hint of surprise. It's not like he didn't know. It's something he thinks about sometimes. How would Ai's children react if they knew their mother was seeing someone new? How would it make them feel? If they hated him, he thinks he could take it. He knew what it was like to feel unwelcome in his own home. He still remembers the cold bite of winter as he walked past households looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. For Ai, he was ready to live like that.
But he knows Ai won't let him. ]
I figured that was the case.
[ Rinne tucks a lock of her violet hair behind her ear and gently with his knuckles, he caresses her cheek. She must have been so nervous. He can still see it in the way she breathes, the way she blinks at her own reflection as if it's hard to look at. But Rinne is patient. He soothes her shoulder. His smile is fond. ]
You three looked so happy in that picture. You wanted to tell me back then, didn't you?
It's hard raising kids on your own, especially when you're not allowed to tell them how you feel. Ever since my mother died, I couldn't—
[ For a second, Ai's expression mirrors his own. Lips parted, eyes widened and all that light in her eyes softened and tempered by surprise. It's the look of someone being faced with the realization that sometimes, the world might be just a little bit kinder than she'd first expected.
Of course he knew. Rinne's not stupid and she'd been all but begging him to figure it out by putting the incriminating evidence in his hands. In fact, now she thinks about it... that had probably been the point all along, hadn't it? She'd wanted him to figure it out and ask so Ai didn't have to be the one to tell him. Because if she'd trusted him enough to tell him and he'd reacted any other way... ]
... Mm. I'd wanted to tell... anybody, really. For a really long time. Since I knew I was even having them to begin with. But I especially wanted you to know.
[ Everything feels so quiet and still, suddenly. Rinne's gentle voice, his careful touch, his hand in hers... the moment feels so delicate and fragile that she's scared of doing or saying the wrong thing in case it splits open and breaks.
But it's okay. If she's with Rinne, then...
She swallows again and squeezes his hand, tight. Then, at last, she pulls in one more shaky breath and manages to drag her eyes up to meet his. Even in a moment like this - or maybe because it's a moment like this - she's struck so strongly and suddenly by the thought of just how lovely his eyes are. ]
[Ai's starry eyes are so sincere, they make Rinne want to fall apart. When he's alone with his idol who loves him more than life itself, he wants nothing more than to sink into the comfort of her arms like how he does in his dreams, her embrace warm and inviting. But he doesn't—can't. Not when she needs him now. Not when he has a family to protect.
Rinne chuckles, his voice soft and fond.]
You trust me that much, huh? I appreciate it. I really, really do. I mean, lying's tough. Keepin' secrets is tough. You're so hard to read, it drives me crazy. But we're friends, Ai. When you got friends like me, you don't gotta carry these things yourself, y'know?
[He presses her knuckles to his lips, which tug into a playful smirk.]
We're more than just friends now, though. I'll say it again: let me lighten the load for ya, Ai. Let's get married.
[ It's not the first time Ai's heard those words. Behind confessions of love, it's the thing gachikoi groups like B-Komachi hear more than anything else from fans. That sort of devotion is exactly what they're supposed to inspire, but Ai isn't naive enough to think that any of them ever really mean it.
That boy had said it too and maybe he'd meant it - but he hadn't understood it. And that was fine - Ai certainly hadn't understood what marriage was supposed to be back then either. But she was certain that it wasn't anything like the way he'd wanted it, a world comprised of only two people with just enough space to lick each others' wounds. There was no place in a world like that for the babies in her belly and so she'd rejected him, blithely and without a thought.
She had said yes to Rinne in much the same way - thoughtlessly, too overwhelmed by stirred up sensation and feelings to even try thinking about it. And maybe that had been fine for the way Rinne had asked her then, but when he asks her like this, so achingly sincere it makes her chest clench, asking it when he means it, when he knows full well what he's asking and who he's asking, that she's dirty and timid, irresponsible and impure...
Ah. she thinks to herself as she holds his gaze. I really do love him so much.
Her hand doesn't leave his and it's such an awkward position but she absolutely can't help herself. Ai leans in and, with her free arm wrapped around him, hugs him. Tight. ]
I want that. So much that it's scaring me... but the idea of not having it scares me even more. [ From this angle, he won't be able to see her face... but the way her voice wavers and hitches can't be mistaken for anything but tears. ] So let's do it. Whenever anything's hurting, whenever anything's too heavy to carry on your own, let's carry it together. Let's be a family, Rinne-kun.
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no subject
He doesn't like being given things on a silver platter. Ai's sounds and shivers are nothing like that. Rinne worked for this. He killed a part of himself to get this far in this life, and being with her, he has never felt more alive. He thought that maybe after all his failures, he didn't deserve these things anymore, but when she offers them to him, what else is he supposed to do but grab them? He was born to take
But for Ai, he loves to serve.
Against her mound, he hums and swallows.]
So this is all mine, huh?
[Back in his village, what belonged to him belonged to everybody. Whatever he wanted to keep, he stashed away like a dirty secret. What he and Ai are doing isn't so different from his short excursions to his secret childhood base. But as with each visit he'd make whenever the elders were away, somehow doing something naughty made it all the sweeter.]
Fuck your ex. He's missing out.
[He slides his fingers out, tightens his grip on her thighs, and sinks his mouth deeper. Maybe it's charity. He doesn't get anything from this. But his warm tongue pushes into her slit, lapping up her juices whenever they trickle from her folds, and when he hears her whimper, he starts to think he wouldn't mind doing this forever.]
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She feels a little dizzy. She feels wonderfully overwhelmed. Even with the roaring water and the sound of her moans rising up from her mouth, the slick wet sounds of his tongue inside her are loud and filthy and maybe it's just to her but the noise of it all sends a helpless thrill right up her spine.
She's not a pure girl in the least. But the way Rinne does it - Ai knows for sure that she's never been touched and teased and loved quite like this. ]
Mmn, like that- [ The mingling of approval and plea in her voice is almost helpless. ] - it feels so good like that, I love it...!
no subject
He lifts his mouth to kiss the inside of her thigh and pull on the supple flesh as he bites. His eyes meet hers again, a dazzling blue that burns brightly in the night, gazing at her like she was prey. If he's going to mark her here, he wants her to feel it.
His kisses move upward. As his hands lovingly glide up her thighs, his lips travel up the jut of her bones and her tight stomach, kissing every surface as if he could hear it beg to be loved. Being bathed in her light felt like this. If he could burn that feeling back into her...]
Hey.
[He rises, kissing the underside of her breast.]
You'll only do this with me, right? You won't look at anyone else?
no subject
It feels so good, the sharp spike of feeling that cuts through the sweet, flushing attention his mouth and hands are lavishing her with - she would never even once have thought of herself as an M in the slightest but the idea of Rinne marking her skin with his teeth, just enough to sting and bruise makes her ache.
If she's his prey, then that's fine. So long as it's Rinne, letting herself get eaten doesn't sound so bad in the slightest. ]
Of course. I don't want anybody else. If it's not you, there's no point.
[ Her voice is breathy and shaken from the feeling Rinne's wrung out of her. But it's so earnest, too. Affectionate and sweet and real. Her fingers don't rest - running up over the hard planes of Rinne's shoulders and back, lingering at the nape of his neck to curl into his hair when he leans in towards her. ]
Now I've got you, I don't need to look at anybody else ever again. I'm all yours.
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Good. [He kisses her deep. He rasps against her lips.] Then look at me. Tell me what you want.
[Because his fingers are inside her again, rhythmically frantic, working her hard until she screams his name and comes.]
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Mm - ah, Rinne-kun... I want-
[ She huffs it sweetly into his mouth between each kiss and every moan. She's not allowed to ask for the things she really want. She has to sneak them away and then play dumb when she gets caught with them. It's always that much easier to ask forgiveness than permission, after all. But with Rinne, that rule seems to have turned on its head. He'd give her anything she wanted and never even think it's something that needs to be forgiven. All she has to do is ask.
So how is she supposed to resist? ]
Keep touching me like this and - for the rest of the night, keep loving me like this, and tomorrow, too- until we go home, I want more of all this...!
[ Her voice finally breaks. His fingers are so slick and deep and hot inside her that she just can't stand it anymore. She almost bends double, her forehead pressed into his shoulder and when she comes, it's with Rinne's name spilling out of her mouth, high and helpless while her hips rock up just helplessly into the pressure of his hand.
She's a trembling, satisfied mess when she finally lets herself slump bonelessly against him, clinging onto his arms like she doesn't quite trust herself to stay upright without his support. When she said her legs weren't quite up to working properly, that was supposed to be a joke. ]
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There's something about someone saying him name like this that gets him going. He loves it when he makes the crowd go wild, so it only follows that he'd love it when Ai cries his name out, too. What he didn't know is how hot he would get under his skin after every wanton whine and ragged breath. He didn't know how good it would feel to hear someone beg him to love them. It's his job, after all. No one asks their king to hold them and smile. They only expect him to do things right. So when Ai breaks the rules to brazenly ask him for this... He can't help himself.]
Good girl.
[He pets her hair and kisses her there, the smile in his voice warm and infinitely pleased. In his arms, he holds her steady and close.]
This might be too cliché, but god, you're so cute when you're honest. Don't worry, Ai. Until we get home, I'm gonna spoil you rotten♡
[As someone who wasn't allowed to love anything, he's always wanted to do that.]
I don't think we're making it to dinner at this rate. Can you stand?
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Three whole nights, huh. Is she even going to be fit to go back to work by the time they're done with each other? ]
I warned you. I just knew it'd turn out like this.
[ And yet she was the one who started it. At least he can't say he didn't know what he was getting into. Her fingers curl around his arms and she turns her face so she can press her cheek into his chest. Even with all the hot water and steam in the air, Rinne's so wonderfully warm. ]
I should be able to walk... if you give me a minute. Jeez, the was so good my head's still spinning...
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[ Rinne laughs and grins, his gaze fond and sweet. Good. Ai deserves it. ]
It woulda happened either way. Even I get sick of being responsible.
[ And hasn't he been responsible this whole time? He hasn't kissed or touched Ai up until today. He was pretty good at keeping himself in check, he thinks.
With a gentle knuckle, he nudges her free cheek. She's red all over... Is this what he looked like earlier? The look is much cuter on her. Oh man, he thinks he wants to eat her up like that every night now... Ahh, no! This is exactly why he didn't want to do this before getting married! ]
I gotta make sure ya eat, though. How's a quick conbini run after this sound?
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[ Maybe it'll clear her head enough that she won't immediately forget dinner the instant they get back to their hotel room. Again. ... And if it's a decently stocked convenience store then she can potentially solve the other problem they have on their hands right now. Yes, they're being totally irresponsible already as it is, but there's a difference between that and just begging for trouble.
... Running to the conbini to buy dinner and, uh, other things for the rest of a ryokan vacation with her boyfriend. If Saitou ever finds out about any of this, the jokes about his blood pressure are going to stop being jokes really fast. ]
Give me a minute to rinse out my hair? Then we can change into something fresh and head out. I'm pretty sure I saw the conbini on our way here, so it won't be a big trip.
no subject
[The rest of their shower is uneventful, but maybe Ai will find it interesting how Rinne helps wash her hair and, when she's done, turns the water off for her. When they leave the shower, he guides her by the hand. Around her, he wraps a dry, fluffy towel.
He kisses her cheek.]
Let me dry your hair, too...
[All his stress is gone. It's almost as if he's found a new pet to dote on. The thought of needing to buy anything else at the conbini hasn't crossed his mind, but that's something to note for another time.]
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Heehee. Alright. Here, let me...
[ She tugs the stool out from by the sink and settles herself down on it. Then she glances back at him. If she's already indulging then asking for a little more is probably fine, right? ]
Could you brush it out, too?
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[Even he thinks he's having way too much fun with this. When he dries her hair, it's as if it's something he's already used to. Once her locks are no longer too heavy and wet, he combs through them with his fingers as he works through the places he missed. Only then does he reach for the brush.]
Didn't think I'd get to do this, either.
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Rinne wouldn't mind, right? This is the sort of thing married couples are supposed to do. ... She thinks. Not that they're close to counting as one of those just yet. ]
You did promise to spoil me. So I'm just taking you up on that.
[ Teasing as her words are, her voice is warm, lazy and pleased as well. ]
Since I'm so nice, I might let you do it for me next time, too. If you really want.
no subject
[But the way he says it is giddy and gentle, not at all like the man who flirted with her at every turn.]
Would you really like that? Living together forever with me?
no subject
That's what marriage is supposed to be like, right? It's a way of saying you want to be with someone forever. But the idea of being together had been a little vague in her brain and it's only when Rinne says living together that it solidifies a bit into something tangible. Something she can actually imagine.
Living together means waking up in the morning and having breakfast together. It means talking about your plans when you kiss goodbye at the door then meeting back at the table later to talk about your day. It means - the way Rinne talks about it - being family.
She's only started to understand what that means over the last few years. She'd never had one until she went and made her own, after all. To her, it's a word that means her, Aqua and Ruby - and she's surprised to realize just how easy is it to imagine Rinne slotting into that space, too. She remembers that selfish little daydream she'd had of bringing Ruby and Aqua to meet him, privately playacting like they were on a family outing but now she lets herself sketch out something a little different. Instead of Miyako sending her off to work while she looks after the twins, it's Rinne seeing her off with a smile and a kiss and when Ai steps out of the door she calls back over her shoulder to Aqua and Ruby -
"Be good for your papa, okay?"
Could she really have something that lovely? Does Rinne even want it?
Is she even allowed to ask? ]
... I would. I really, really would. But I-
[ Her throat is tight. She swallows, so she can try and get some of the words loose enough to speak.
Rinne accepts her as she is. He'd promised he would. But even now, the idea of putting her heart into his hands only for it to be crushed, even though she doesn't want to think for a second that he would, not on purpose...
It's terrifying. ]
... Rinne-kun. When you talk about family... I want that too. But it wouldn't just be me and you.
[ Deep breath. She feels dizzy. She feels sick. She's wanted to say this to someone for so, so long so why is it so damn hard? ]
Being with me means... being with Aqua and Ruby, too.
slams into this
But he knows Ai won't let him. ]
I figured that was the case.
[ Rinne tucks a lock of her violet hair behind her ear and gently with his knuckles, he caresses her cheek. She must have been so nervous. He can still see it in the way she breathes, the way she blinks at her own reflection as if it's hard to look at. But Rinne is patient. He soothes her shoulder. His smile is fond. ]
You three looked so happy in that picture. You wanted to tell me back then, didn't you?
It's hard raising kids on your own, especially when you're not allowed to tell them how you feel. Ever since my mother died, I couldn't—
[ No. This isn't about him.
He takes her by the hand and gets on his knees. ]
Ai. Look at me?
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Of course he knew. Rinne's not stupid and she'd been all but begging him to figure it out by putting the incriminating evidence in his hands. In fact, now she thinks about it... that had probably been the point all along, hadn't it? She'd wanted him to figure it out and ask so Ai didn't have to be the one to tell him. Because if she'd trusted him enough to tell him and he'd reacted any other way... ]
... Mm. I'd wanted to tell... anybody, really. For a really long time. Since I knew I was even having them to begin with. But I especially wanted you to know.
[ Everything feels so quiet and still, suddenly. Rinne's gentle voice, his careful touch, his hand in hers... the moment feels so delicate and fragile that she's scared of doing or saying the wrong thing in case it splits open and breaks.
But it's okay. If she's with Rinne, then...
She swallows again and squeezes his hand, tight. Then, at last, she pulls in one more shaky breath and manages to drag her eyes up to meet his. Even in a moment like this - or maybe because it's a moment like this - she's struck so strongly and suddenly by the thought of just how lovely his eyes are. ]
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Rinne chuckles, his voice soft and fond.]
You trust me that much, huh? I appreciate it. I really, really do. I mean, lying's tough. Keepin' secrets is tough. You're so hard to read, it drives me crazy. But we're friends, Ai. When you got friends like me, you don't gotta carry these things yourself, y'know?
[He presses her knuckles to his lips, which tug into a playful smirk.]
We're more than just friends now, though. I'll say it again: let me lighten the load for ya, Ai. Let's get married.
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That boy had said it too and maybe he'd meant it - but he hadn't understood it. And that was fine - Ai certainly hadn't understood what marriage was supposed to be back then either. But she was certain that it wasn't anything like the way he'd wanted it, a world comprised of only two people with just enough space to lick each others' wounds. There was no place in a world like that for the babies in her belly and so she'd rejected him, blithely and without a thought.
She had said yes to Rinne in much the same way - thoughtlessly, too overwhelmed by stirred up sensation and feelings to even try thinking about it. And maybe that had been fine for the way Rinne had asked her then, but when he asks her like this, so achingly sincere it makes her chest clench, asking it when he means it, when he knows full well what he's asking and who he's asking, that she's dirty and timid, irresponsible and impure...
Ah. she thinks to herself as she holds his gaze. I really do love him so much.
Her hand doesn't leave his and it's such an awkward position but she absolutely can't help herself. Ai leans in and, with her free arm wrapped around him, hugs him. Tight. ]
I want that. So much that it's scaring me... but the idea of not having it scares me even more. [ From this angle, he won't be able to see her face... but the way her voice wavers and hitches can't be mistaken for anything but tears. ] So let's do it. Whenever anything's hurting, whenever anything's too heavy to carry on your own, let's carry it together. Let's be a family, Rinne-kun.