[ Why are all of the short women in his life like this. ]
Ah, yes I'm sure, but—AH!!
[ In she goes! Managing to find a brief little window of an opportunity to slip through a gap in Oberon's defenses and shoot straight past him. Maybe she really is an Archer after all.
As for the room, well... it's not nearly as much of a mess as Oberon made it out to be. Lived in, sure... and don't get it wrong, there's definitely a lot of trash on the floor, but it isn't quite the pigsty he was so determined to describe it as to get her to leave. ]
[ Success!!! Rather than stopping to crow over her victory, though, Sei just gets to matter-of-factly tidying up before he can protest. What? She was serious about wanting Ai to come home to a nice clean apartment. ]
See, it's not so bad! This'll get done on a jiffy.
[ you have to admire the panache, if nothing else. ]
How's things going with Ai-chan, anyways? You guys got caught up in that fight a couple days ago, right?
Hasn't anyone ever told you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong? Damn Gyaru...
[ Wow, the contrast between him normally and him now really is as steep as a completely vertical cliff, huh? ]
She's fine. The fact I'm still here is proof of that, isn't it?
[ That's what happens when a Servant loses their Master, after all. Though then again, an Archer with such an absurd Independent Action skill might not understand that. ]
[ bullying works!!! or uh, her totally above board and not at all underhanded snooping worked.
Not that she seems thrown off at all. In fact, she doesn't even look back at him despite the hilariously audible shift in tone. Refer to the earlier comments about staying in her lane (and never mind that she absolutely is not doing that right now). ]
Well yeah, but that just means she's not dead! [ She Doesn't Know About The Ryosuke Of It All ] Doesn't mean she's actually doing okay.
[ That's interesting, though. She asked about how things were going and he dodged the question while looking like he was answering it. ]
[ Oberon pauses at that. She's not exactly wrong, as much as Oberon wishes she was. She's annoyingly perceptive, really, so it's no wonder Oberon tended to avoid her. ]
Well, if you're worried about her, then shouldn't you have gone to see her instead of coming here to bother me?
[ You're basically here looking for gossip material! Don't think he can't tell, damn it. ]
We fought and won against another Servant, it's as simple as that.
[ Said as if the grim sound of his Noble Phantasm couldn't be heard for miles. ]
Oh good, for a second I thought you might have the wrong idea about me.
[ It's funny, if you think about it. As a Faerie, he can see the truth... but as Oberon, he's nothing but lies. As far as paradoxical existences go, he's probably at the very top. If there's one thing that's true, though, is that he's a real piece of shit getting two girls to clean up after him while he does fuck-all. ]
Though if you know that, then you can't possibly expect me to give you a straight answer, right?
[ Oberon is either the world's best or worst gossip depending on what you want out of him. ]
[ Listen, she known when to pick her battles. If her tidying keeps him talking, that's a necessary sacrifice!!! ]
Yeah, obviously. [ she's really taking all this way too in stride... ] But at least I'll get something.
[ Then she turns and looks at him and she's not... serious, exactly, because when is she ever but it's as serious as she can ever get. ]
Besides. It's not like we've gotta be enemies or anything. I just thought that with everything going on, some of the normie Masters are probably having a hard time.
[ Especially the omg who has to deal with a Servant like you. her eyes seem to say. ]
[ Emphasis on heard. Seriously, does he not have any volume control on that thing??? So much for stealth. But it's not like anyone here would be able to work out who he actually is based on that thing, so... ]
Must've taken a lotta magic to make it work, though. Ai-chan's down to just one of these, right?
[ She taps the back of her hand, where a seal would sit. ]
Sucks that for all the other crazy stuff this place does, those don't pop back.
[ It's a giant draconic insect, of course it's loud. Deal with the dreadful wails and howls of the entrance to the abyss or get lost. Besides, considering who her Master is, she has no right to be complaining about volume control.
More seriously, though, he's silent at her words for a moment. Well, it's not like it's a hard deduction to make. Ai definitely doesn't have nearly the capacity nor the output to sustain such a thing. Hell, a single Command Seal just barely allowed for it to appear for long enough to swallow the enemy, and then... ]
...well, we can't expect every summoning system to be so convenient.
[ Their summoning here is already strange enough. Memories of Chaldea are one thing for Oberon, but Nagiko was summoned with those too... and then the Masters, despite being human themselves, were also summoned here. Honestly, the fact that their Command Seal's don't refill after a few days is one of the few things about this "Grail War" that actually follows the general rules.
Still, that's really not the point, is it? ]
Oh, just get to the point already. All this dancing-around-eachother is getting exhausting, even for me.
[ He's?? The reason why?? Things have to be so roundabout?? ]
[ Oberon actually cracks up at her outburst. Oh he knows it's his fault, he knows all too well. ]
Ehhh? Whatever do you mean~?
[ This fucker. He seems to be, annoyingly enough, taking her criticism in stride. She's a girl too, huh? At this point the cat's out of the bag, and Oberon's not exactly pleased about that... but does that mean he's gonna lose his composure? Absolutely not. ]
Oi, oi, what makes you think that was my fault? Maybe Ai-chan's a little freakier than you expected, huh? I certainly didn't contribute to...
[ But halfway through his next lie, he suddenly pauses. ]
This is what I mean about delicacy, dumbass! [ SHE THROWS THE BAG OF TRASH AT HIM??? She at least tied it off before she was done so the trash doesn't go everywhere but it's the principle of the thing. ] Even if that's true, don't just come out and tell me like that!
[ Chances are good that it probably isn't if he's just straightforwardly saying it but that doesn't mean he should be going and running his mouth like that anyway!!! ]
I mean, next time someone picks a fight - 'cause it's gonna happen, guaranteed - what're you gonna do about your magic? You can't ask for another Command Spell if she's only got the one, so whatever else you had to do, it's not gonna be a one off! Didya even think about that for a second?
[ She's probably igoing to be giving Ai this exact same lecture too with a little less yelling next time she sees her, huh..... ]
[ It hits him square in the face. Maybe she really is an Archer, etc. etc. Well, Ai's taste aside, he wasn't actually expecting her answer. Well, it's not completely outside the realm of what he expected, but the genuine concern for them—or rather, for Ai—catches him off-guard.
He scoffs, tossing aside the bag of trash and averting his gaze.
Of course he thought about that. For fucks sake, it's the only thing that's been on his mind ever since they got back. ]
...who knows? Maybe that'll be it for me, then. I'd say I gave it a good run.
[ What a piece of work your Servant is, Hoshino Ai. ]
... I seriously don't know why I thought you'd say anything else.
[ he really does have the energy of a guy who would rather die than do literally anything useful..... ]
What even happens to all these normie Masters when their Servant gets BTFO [ she really just said those letters out loud ] anyway? Do they get popped a new one? It's not like the we've got a hard limit on Servants by the looks of things so far...
[ Honestly. Someone else coming along would probably be an improvement??? Not that she wants the guy dematerialized yesterday or anything but basically any other Servant would probably be an improvement here. Or at the very least, they'd make things a lot less complicated. ]
[ Not that it's really possible to be extra silent, but that's just about the only way to describe Oberon when Nagiko mentions that. He's a powerful Servant, but she's not wrong, just about anyone else would be easier to handle than he is. He's never made an effort to be easy after all.
Yet here he is, turning his head away so that the other Servant can't see the rage in his eyes at the thought. ]
...how should I know? After all, I'm still here.
[ She had stubbornly, desperately, kept him anchored to this world. To her. ]
That's what I'm saying! Who even knows what'd happen if one of us disappeared? Maybe you don't give a damn what happens to Ai-chan but I at least want her to stick around a little longer, you know?
[ So her read on the vibes here isn't ENTIRELY correct... though that's also kind of his fault. Can you really blame her for thinking that when he's so......................... Like That?]
I'm not saying start gnawing on her like a vampire or anything. Actually, I'm specifically saying don't do that! Or at least not right on her face! But don't be all like "guess I'll die" about it. It's not just your butt on the line here!
[ It's really not her fault in the slightest. Hell, isn't that the point of lying, after all? It's not like Sei is a faerie, she's not able to instantly see the truth of the matter. Oberon's vibes are atrocious by default, and the difficulty in figuring out the truth from his words is part of it as well.
The fact that acknowledging it, even to someone else, is the one thing he can never do.
But even if her read on the vibes is wrong... or hell, maybe it's because she's reading it wrong... it's pissing him off. ]
Oi, don't put words in my mouth, damn it!!
[ Well, these are the confusing vibes you're trying to unravel here, Sei Shounagon. How Ai manages at all is the real mystery here. As quickly as Oberon suddenly let loose his outburst, he forces his expression to calm his expression calms and he scoffs. ]
What the hell...
[ Just by being about her, he stops thinking straight. He shouldn't care whether or not Sei Shounagon thinks he cares or not. Hell, having her believe that might even get her to leave him alone. ]
I've gotta call my shots somewhere! You're the one saying you'll just vanish so what else am I supposed to think? Man, if you're just gonna give up that quick, the next Servant they summon for her better be less of a pain in the ass than you...
[ now there's a way to make a guy see reason: threaten him with hypothetical NTR??!?!! ]
Anyway...! Man, how expired is this melonpan...? [ She's still cleaning... ] If you really hate it that much, just don't go all out next time. And you won't have have to... you know. Recharge.
[ Well, when you're unhealthily possessive towards someone, it's a very effective tactic. Enough that he scoffs, grabs the trash bag Sei had originally tossed at him, and tosses it right back. He's so helpful. ]
Tch...
[ As if it were that simple. There's no point in holding back for the sake of retaining mana if you're going to get killed, especially since in that event... Ai would just be next. ]
...ah, right, that reminds me. It was you who taught her all of that, wasn't it?
[ casually batting the trash bag away without even looking... the archer class really is made of etc etc ]
The mana transfer stuff? [ so we're just Saying It now, apparently. ] Kindasorta? She was asking about where magic even comes from for Servants so I explained. I didn't go into the whole thing since it wasn't really the point but I guess she got the gist.
[ Oberon's brow twitches. We sure are just Saying It now, aren't we? ]
...ugh, of course she did. You have no idea how annoying this is going to be...
[ Considering neither of them can even get close to going far enough without feeling the urge to throw down a metaphorical flashbang. Ai especially, he'd like to add. He puts his hand on forehead and drags it down his face. Just don't go all-out, huh? Easier said than done, especially if they get unlucky and have to fight again anytime soon, and without his Noble Phantasm to boot.
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if it looks like she's having way too much fun with this, it's because she absolutely is. ]
Bikki-chan doesn't get mad about the place being a mess, but you just said Ai-chan would? So I figured you needed the help more.
[ keep digging your own grave buster she'll be right down there digging it for you as well ]
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Ah, yes I'm sure, but—AH!!
[ In she goes! Managing to find a brief little window of an opportunity to slip through a gap in Oberon's defenses and shoot straight past him. Maybe she really is an Archer after all.
As for the room, well... it's not nearly as much of a mess as Oberon made it out to be. Lived in, sure... and don't get it wrong, there's definitely a lot of trash on the floor, but it isn't quite the pigsty he was so determined to describe it as to get her to leave. ]
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See, it's not so bad! This'll get done on a jiffy.
[ you have to admire the panache, if nothing else. ]
How's things going with Ai-chan, anyways? You guys got caught up in that fight a couple days ago, right?
1/2
So that's what this is about, huh?
[ Fine. It's frustrating, but he'll give in. It happens when Sei's back is turned, so she doesn't see the moment it happens, but... ]
2/2
[ Wow, the contrast between him normally and him now really is as steep as a completely vertical cliff, huh? ]
She's fine. The fact I'm still here is proof of that, isn't it?
[ That's what happens when a Servant loses their Master, after all. Though then again, an Archer with such an absurd Independent Action skill might not understand that. ]
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Not that she seems thrown off at all. In fact, she doesn't even look back at him despite the hilariously audible shift in tone. Refer to the earlier comments about staying in her lane (and never mind that she absolutely is not doing that right now). ]
Well yeah, but that just means she's not dead! [ She Doesn't Know About The Ryosuke Of It All ] Doesn't mean she's actually doing okay.
[ That's interesting, though. She asked about how things were going and he dodged the question while looking like he was answering it. ]
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Well, if you're worried about her, then shouldn't you have gone to see her instead of coming here to bother me?
[ You're basically here looking for gossip material! Don't think he can't tell, damn it. ]
We fought and won against another Servant, it's as simple as that.
[ Said as if the grim sound of his Noble Phantasm couldn't be heard for miles. ]
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[ you're both full of shit is what she's saying. no wonder these two got slotted together.
She's just casually dumping trash into a grocery store bag as she goes... where did she even get that?? ]
So I figure if I talk to both of you then I can kind of try and work out what's going on.
[ not stated but very clear: She Already Knows (Or Thinks She Does) And Is Here For Gossip ]
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[ It's funny, if you think about it. As a Faerie, he can see the truth... but as Oberon, he's nothing but lies. As far as paradoxical existences go, he's probably at the very top.
If there's one thing that's true, though, is that he's a real piece of shit getting two girls to clean up after him while he does fuck-all.]Though if you know that, then you can't possibly expect me to give you a straight answer, right?
[ Oberon is either the world's best or worst gossip depending on what you want out of him. ]
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Yeah, obviously. [ she's really taking all this way too in stride... ] But at least I'll get something.
[ Then she turns and looks at him and she's not... serious, exactly, because when is she ever but it's as serious as she can ever get. ]
Besides. It's not like we've gotta be enemies or anything. I just thought that with everything going on, some of the normie Masters are probably having a hard time.
[ Especially the omg who has to deal with a Servant like you. her eyes seem to say. ]
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[ He'll just be kicking back in his usual spot on the sofa, then. He won't deny being a high-maintenance Servant. It's true, after all.
...though with that said, even if she already has some idea of what happened, the thought of giving her more to work with... ]
Still, I've told you all there is to say. I fought and I won.
[ Yeah, no, he's gonna be stubborn about this. ]
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[ Emphasis on heard. Seriously, does he not have any volume control on that thing??? So much for stealth. But it's not like anyone here would be able to work out who he actually is based on that thing, so... ]
Must've taken a lotta magic to make it work, though. Ai-chan's down to just one of these, right?
[ She taps the back of her hand, where a seal would sit. ]
Sucks that for all the other crazy stuff this place does, those don't pop back.
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More seriously, though, he's silent at her words for a moment. Well, it's not like it's a hard deduction to make. Ai definitely doesn't have nearly the capacity nor the output to sustain such a thing. Hell, a single Command Seal just barely allowed for it to appear for long enough to swallow the enemy, and then... ]
...well, we can't expect every summoning system to be so convenient.
[ Their summoning here is already strange enough. Memories of Chaldea are one thing for Oberon, but Nagiko was summoned with those too... and then the Masters, despite being human themselves, were also summoned here. Honestly, the fact that their Command Seal's don't refill after a few days is one of the few things about this "Grail War" that actually follows the general rules.
Still, that's really not the point, is it? ]
Oh, just get to the point already. All this dancing-around-eachother is getting exhausting, even for me.
[ He's?? The reason why?? Things have to be so roundabout?? ]
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[ SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT ]
Look, I'm just saying - she's your Master, but Ai-chan's a girl, too.
[ whatever that's supposed to mean??? Nagiko's looking pretty serious (or just intense, it's hard to tell with her) about this, either way. ]
You've gotta have a bit more delicacy about it. At least next time, don't bite half her face off when you're doing it!
[ Never mind that Ai was the one who started it............. Hold on, why is she so sure there's going to be a next time??? ]
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Ehhh? Whatever do you mean~?
[
This fucker.He seems to be, annoyingly enough, taking her criticism in stride. She's a girl too, huh? At this point the cat's out of the bag, and Oberon's not exactly pleased about that... but does that mean he's gonna lose his composure? Absolutely not. ]Oi, oi, what makes you think that was my fault? Maybe Ai-chan's a little freakier than you expected, huh? I certainly didn't contribute to...
[ But halfway through his next lie, he suddenly pauses. ]
...the hell you mean, 'next time'?
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[ Chances are good that it probably isn't if he's just straightforwardly saying it but that doesn't mean he should be going and running his mouth like that anyway!!! ]
I mean, next time someone picks a fight - 'cause it's gonna happen, guaranteed - what're you gonna do about your magic? You can't ask for another Command Spell if she's only got the one, so whatever else you had to do, it's not gonna be a one off! Didya even think about that for a second?
[ She's probably igoing to be giving Ai this exact same lecture too with a little less yelling next time she sees her, huh..... ]
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[ It hits him square in the face.
Maybe she really is an Archer, etc. etc.Well, Ai's taste aside, he wasn't actually expecting her answer. Well, it's not completely outside the realm of what he expected, but the genuine concern for them—or rather, for Ai—catches him off-guard.He scoffs, tossing aside the bag of trash and averting his gaze.
Of course he thought about that. For fucks sake, it's the only thing that's been on his mind ever since they got back. ]
...who knows? Maybe that'll be it for me, then. I'd say I gave it a good run.
[ What a piece of work your Servant is, Hoshino Ai. ]
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[ he really does have the energy of a guy who would rather die than do literally anything useful..... ]
What even happens to all these normie Masters when their Servant gets BTFO [ she really just said those letters out loud ] anyway? Do they get popped a new one? It's not like the we've got a hard limit on Servants by the looks of things so far...
[ Honestly. Someone else coming along would probably be an improvement??? Not that she wants the guy dematerialized yesterday or anything but basically any other Servant would probably be an improvement here. Or at the very least, they'd make things a lot less complicated. ]
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Yet here he is, turning his head away so that the other Servant can't see the rage in his eyes at the thought. ]
...how should I know? After all, I'm still here.
[ She had stubbornly, desperately, kept him anchored to this world. To her. ]
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[ So her read on the vibes here isn't ENTIRELY correct... though that's also kind of his fault. Can you really blame her for thinking that when he's so......................... Like That?]
I'm not saying start gnawing on her like a vampire or anything. Actually, I'm specifically saying don't do that! Or at least not right on her face! But don't be all like "guess I'll die" about it. It's not just your butt on the line here!
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The fact that acknowledging it, even to someone else, is the one thing he can never do.
But even if her read on the vibes is wrong... or hell, maybe it's because she's reading it wrong... it's pissing him off. ]
Oi, don't put words in my mouth, damn it!!
[ Well, these are the confusing vibes you're trying to unravel here, Sei Shounagon.
How Ai manages at all is the real mystery here.As quickly as Oberon suddenly let loose his outburst,he forces his expression to calmhis expression calms and he scoffs. ]What the hell...
[ Just by being about her, he stops thinking straight. He shouldn't care whether or not Sei Shounagon thinks he cares or not. Hell, having her believe that might even get her to leave him alone. ]
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[ now there's a way to make a guy see reason: threaten him with hypothetical NTR??!?!! ]
Anyway...! Man, how expired is this melonpan...? [ She's still cleaning... ] If you really hate it that much, just don't go all out next time. And you won't have have to... you know. Recharge.
[ So That's What We're Calling It ]
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Tch...
[ As if it were that simple. There's no point in holding back for the sake of retaining mana if you're going to get killed, especially since in that event... Ai would just be next. ]
...ah, right, that reminds me. It was you who taught her all of that, wasn't it?
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[ casually batting the trash bag away without even looking... the archer class really is made of etc etc ]
The mana transfer stuff? [ so we're just Saying It now, apparently. ] Kindasorta? She was asking about where magic even comes from for Servants so I explained. I didn't go into the whole thing since it wasn't really the point but I guess she got the gist.
[ Annoyingly, this does not seem to be a lie. ]
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...ugh, of course she did. You have no idea how annoying this is going to be...
[ Considering neither of them can even get close to going far enough without feeling the urge to throw down a metaphorical flashbang. Ai especially, he'd like to add. He puts his hand on forehead and drags it down his face. Just don't go all-out, huh? Easier said than done, especially if they get unlucky and have to fight again anytime soon, and without his Noble Phantasm to boot.
If he has to do that with her again, he'll... ]
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