[ She looks up at him, blinking. She's still smiling and it's too gentle and bright for it to be put on but... while it's not exactly clueless, it's clear that whatever's bugging Rinne is very evidently not bugging Ai in turn... if it's even on her mind at all. Maybe she really is just a little too calm. ]
Well of course I do. You think I dodged around the Prez and Miyako-san and still didn't have any clue?
[ Her smile turns into a grin, just sharp edged enough to be playful. ]
And just like that, he loses his chance. They arrive at the entrance, and the question shuttles back to where it came from. He's still nervous! But now is not the time to worry about tonight. They have a whole day ahead of them.
At the lobby, Rinne does not hide his awe the entire time they're there. His mouth is agape in childlike wonder as he takes everything in, from the huge decorative plate in the foyer to the bronze statues of bodhisattvas near the front. He keeps sneaking a peek at the souvenir shop, wanting to look at their wares. He knows that can wait, though. They have to check in first. He'll do that.]
So this is a ryokan, huh... I thought it'd be bigger.
[ In almost perfect tandem, Ai's face lights up alongside his. She's been to sleek, fancy places before in Tokyo but this is different — it's not necessarily ornate, but the decorations and the care with which everything's been placed and the sweet, old smell of the wood that makes up the building makes it feel grander than anywhere she's ever set foot in before. It's almost enough to make her feel like they've made a mistake in asking someone like her to represent this place.
Mistake or not, she was asked to a job and that's what she's here for — so of course she's snapping pictures of everything on her phone as she goes. She's so caught up in her quest that she doesn't let up on the snaps until Rinne's hand touches her head.
... Hm. More evidence that Rinne's hands are both bigger than previously thought and that she kind of likes it?? But still, she puts on a show of huffing, if only to play into the joke. ]
If it's the perfect size for me, it'll be too small for you, won't it? [ She puts on a perfectly puppy-dog-eyed expression of concern and not at all of mockery. ] What a shame... you might have to sleep on the side of the river outside... I promise to wave hello to you every morning, though!
[Rinne leans back in mock offense.] Ahh? What's that? After all the strings I pulled to get us here, I can't even sleep next to my girlfriend? Some vacation this is!
[His use of the word is deliberate. He hopes she doesn't hate it. He made sure to say it quietly, but so long as he was friends with the owner here, no here would go to the press about two idols at a romantic ryokan in the fall. After all, it's a normal thing for ordinary people to do. Rinne wants to think the days will pass by smoothly, too. It's his first time sharing a room with a woman. Japan's rising star, no less! He really doesn't want to fuck this up.]
Well, you can tour around and take more pics without me. Repping the place is your job now. I'll bring our bags to our room.
[ Ai's expression doesn't change but something about her posture does — she'd been scrolling through the photos she'd taken so far and the her thumb slips clean off her phone. Her shoulders straighten a little. Is that the first time he's said it? It must be, right? That's why her stomach is squirming all of a sudden. Which is stupid — he's been talking about liking and loving her since the first time they really talked, even if he was just playing around, and they've been going on dates, they've come here together... that's the kind of thing you do with a girlfriend, right? So it shouldn't be strange to hear him call her that.
... it is strange. But not in an unpleasant way. In fact... Oh. She'd really liked hearing it. She kind of wants to hear him say it again.
When Ai looks up at him from her phone, two pinpricks of colour bloom high in her cheeks. Look at that, her blush has finally made it onto her face. ]
Ah— no, wait, no way! [ Before he can make a move to leave without her, Ai steps in close and presumptuously links her arm through his. No escape! ] If we're looking around, I want us to go together!
No, Rinne, focus. He's actually not sure what to say to that. Nothing like this has ever really happened before — being wanted by someone and being someone's special someone. If Ai wants to do these things together, who is he to say no? Of course he'll indulge her. ]
But we really oughta bring our bags to our room first. You can trust the folks around here — if I don't say that, they'll kill me — but it's better to get this out of the way before anything else.
[ Like eat and take pictures and, well, he's trying not to think of the obvious.
... This is bad. It really might be better for Ai to go ahead. Rinne will need a distraction.
Oh, he knows.
It goes completely against his personal code of conduct, though. ]
Mm.
[ Rinne tilts his head, leans in, and quickly presses his lips against her cheek. It can hardly count as a kiss. It can hardly be called a kiss. The touch was so light and the moment was so short that even the tiny hairs on her skin might have hardly felt it.
But the warmth was certainly there. ]
Catch up with you later.
[ As Rinne makes his way across the lounge, red up to his ears, he takes their luggage with him. ]
[ Ai opens her mouth to protest again — they're only here for three nights and they have no idea when they'll ever be able to get away with something like this again, so they should spend every available second they have together, right? Before she can even try and get any of that out, though, Rinne cants his head towards hers and with that brief touch of warmth to her cheek, Ai falls silent. She's so completely taken aback that she doesn't get a chance to try and stop him before he pulls away and starts heading off. But then she realizes that the most delighted, undignified kind of smile has begun to spread over her face. She lifts a hand like she might try and cover it — then stops. If it's here... it's okay for her to smile like this, isn't it?
Grinning after him like that, Ai gives him a little wave as he goes. His ears are all red. Rinne's so cute. ]
Heehee. Alright then, we'll catch up later! I'll take a bunch of photos and you can help me pick out the best ones!
[ And... the quicker she gets this part over with, the quicker she and Rinne can just relax. Right?
[Everything! There's everything to worry about! Doesn't she know what they're supposed to do at a ryokan? When Rinne brings their luggage into their room, he falls to his knees, then on his hands. Before him is a 10-tatami mat room with two soft futons laid out side by side — a reminder of the inevitable. On the table by the window is a personal note from the owner wishing them luck.
Rinne's going to kill him.
After doing a brief search around the room for hidden cameras, Rinne finally plops himself onto one of the chairs with a relieved sigh. This was supposed to be a vacation, but whatever. If Ai can enjoy it to the fullest, then that's all that matters...]
Ah?
[As his eyes glance around the room, the baskets on the side of the wall catch his eye. That's right, that's what they're here for. Every traditional ryokan's got to have an onsen. This one has private open-air baths, too. N-not that he's excited to bathe with Ai or anything! But she'll have to do that to give the ryokan a solid review, right? The baths are vacant now, and they will be vacant for a while.
...
Rinne should prepare everything before Ai gets here. And then they can enjoy the bath together.]
[First, he hides the stupid note in his jacket. Then, he prepares their baskets and their yukata. Finally, he takes a picture of the view from their window. The maple leaves are in brilliant shades of orange and red.]
the view's rly nice u done?? rinne-kun's lonely... 😔
[ Ai likes the ryokan more and more the more she sees of it. She'd been right in her initial feelings that it was kind of grand but it's cozy, too — not stuffy or formal at all. This is easily the kind of place she could spend a few days and feel just as comfortable as if she was at home. And even better that Rinne's here with her to enjoy it, too.
She doesn't seek out any of the baths - even if they're vacant, she'd like to enjoy the surprise of seeing them for the first time with Rinne — but she scopes out the souvenir shop, takes a few selfies in some pretty spots and snaps a few choice pictures. She can take more at dinner but for now, this should be enough. ]
Almost done! I asked if it was OK for me to see one of the smaller rooms and they showed me a single person one So I took a selfie in it like it was mine LOL And!! I grabbed some snacks for later from the gift shop. I'll just call the Prez to let him know I got here fine then come see you!
lmaooo u gotta show me later and yay❤ ok❤ don't take too long or i'm gonna zzz
[ What can he do in the meantime? He has everything ready for them, Ai just has to grab the stuff and go. Hmm...
Well, they do need to clean up before getting in the open-air bath, and while there's already a shower near the bath, he doesn't want Ai to wait on him or be self-conscious. Yes, that's it. That's why he's going to shower now. It's not because he's feeling hot. It's not because he's feeling nervous. It's all for Ai's sake!!! ]
[ True to her word, she's not too far behind him - she takes a few snaps of the view so she can gush about how picturesque it all is before she heads off to their room. It's easy enough to find and she's quick to make her way inside, step out of her shoes at the entrance and pull the inner door back. ]
Ooh...!
[ She'd seen one of the other rooms so she sort of has an idea of what to expect but... this is a little different. Maybe it's just because it's their room but it's so cute and cozy - it's all traditional so it feels fancier than it probably is to someone who's not a city mouse but she doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. And Rinne was right — the view is incredible.
No Rinne, though. It takes a second for her to pick up on the sounds of the shower running and she realizes where he must be. So she calls through, just loud enough to be heard over the water. ]
Rinne-kun, I'm here! I'll go ahead and get changed while you're in there!
[ Rinne jolts up when he hears Ai. He was spacing out just now; if he actively thinks about anything that could happen, he's not sure what might happen. But now Ai's here. There's no time to dwell on (or avoid!) hypotheticals.
He was done a while ago anyway, so he quickly shuts the shower off and dries himself off. The loud whirring of the hair dryer here distracts him from whatever sounds he might hear there. With the way he is now, even the slightest rustle of fabric might shake him up — if he can manage to hear it over the heartbeat in his ears. Fuck, where are his clothes? He probably forgot them in the bedroom. Oh well, he'll just grab a towel on his way out and wear some pants when he gets there—
Oh.
Rinne had gotten so used to living with other guys that he'd almost forgotten the most rudimentary of manners.
Knocking, for example.
Being decent in the presence of strangers, for example. ]
Um...
[ Maybe if he switches gears fast enough, he can at least pretend he's sleazy enough to not be awkward about it... ]
[ One of the things you have to get good at as an idol that nobody bothers to tell you about is a quick change - you can't dawdle around in the dressing room when there's a crowd waiting outside. So usually, getting changed while Rinne was in the other room wouldn't be a problem at all.
She ties up her hair no problem, but as it turns out, she'd forgotten to account for putting herself in a yukata for the first time. She's worn them before for shoots but she's always been dressed by someone else, so tying off the sash while holding it closed is a bit of a process. It's a little big on her, too, and it sags on her shoulder just enough to expose the slope of her neck and collarbone. And she's in the middle of trying to adjust that when Rinne walks in.
Ai freezes. Her head snaps around. She has a smile pasted onto her face to preemptively make a joke out of the whole thing but then it slowly slides off her face as she just... looks at him. Oh. she manages to think. Rinne really does look—
She manages, barely, to snap herself back to to reality and hastily pulls the sagging yukata up over her shoulder. Is it ruder to stare or to pretend she wasn't staring? Not that she can even try and pretend that she's not right now... ]
Ahah, sorry...! I thought I'd be done by now. [ She's... still looking. ] Um, if you want to get changed I can...
[ She can what? Give him some privacy? It's a little late for that, isn't it???? ]
[Would that be better or worse? He's asking because he has no idea. He's never been in this situation before. Forgive him for gawking at the smooth column of Ai's neck and the scandal of her collarbones. Where he's from, no one's supposed to see that but family. He plans on making her more than family, so maybe that's not a problem, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's attracted to her. He's joked about it, teased her for it, but the reality is they were thinly-veiled truths. He would be lying if he said she didn't make him feel crazy. What would have happened if she kept fixing her yukata? Would she have failed? Would he have gotten to see more?
He should calm down. He should wear his yukata. He turns around, pulls off his towel, and gives the powers that be a glimpse of his ass before slipping the sleeves on.
...
Hmm. His servants back home usually fixed these things for him.
[ Rinne's gaze feels weighty. She feels the press of it even after he looks away and she's surprised to realise just how much she likes it. She's gotten more than used to having eyes on her at all times whether she likes it or not but that's different from the way Rinne really looks at her, even though she's not put together at all. For the first time, it really hits her that he's going to be seeing her without any of her usual embellishments today.
... Well, if Rinne's looking, it should be fine for her to do the same, right? If he didn't want her to see, he'd be be getting changed elsewhere, right? ]
Ah- oh, the sash is a little tricky to do by yourself, huh? Um, just a second...
[ That's what she says, but as she stands up, she finally manages to tug her yukata into place so it all sits neatly on her body before tying the sash off. Apparently, all she needed to kick her brain into gear was to inflict a moment of blind panic on it.
Now that she's decent, she stands and crosses the room... then pauses as she's stood just behind him. This is kind of a delicate situation, isn't it? She's been sort of blithe and clueless this whole time but... she wonders what Rinne's expecting of her. Or maybe what Rinne's thinking she expects from him. ]
[Ai's soft voice alone makes the hairs on Rinne's neck stand on end. The question is vague enough to lend to his imagination, which soon spreads shame across his shoulders like wildfire. Rinne isn't expecting anything. If Ai is comfortable to let him stand here, that would be enough. He is more concerned about what Ai wants him to do. If... If Ai wants to look— No, if Ai wants his presence and only that, then that's what he'll give her.
He's not nervous because she's pretty.
He's definitely not worried about how they're supposed to conduct themselves.]
N-nevermind. [God, he stuttered. Stupid.] I can do it.
[He speaks in an uncharacteristic near-whisper, turning away and keeping his distance as he fiddles with the obi. He... is honestly, absolutely clueless. He's been overlapping the two ends the same two ways for about a minute now. He'd ask for help like he often demands Niki to, but Niki likes being needed, and he can't just say, "Sorry, I don't know how to dress myself because I used to leave this sort of thing to my attendants. By the way, I'm technically a prince. I'm literally incapable of living alone." It's too much for him to reveal and far too much for Ai to unpack. It's better to just suck it up and put on his damn yukata.]
You can go ahead. Rinne-kun's just gotta figure this out.
[ This isn't like Rinne at all, huh. She'd expect him to cackle and make some joke about it and be the first one to break the tension — or to at least try — but he's the one fumbling and unsure of what to say here. A little pinprick of guilt pierces her stomach as it occurs to her that she's the reason they're both here. For all she teases Rinne about skipping steps and rushing ahead, isn't this a big move to make? And he's here with a girl who hasn't even kissed him or told him she loves him.
No wonder he doesn't know what to do.
Ai steps around him so they're face to face and before he can protest, she reaches and, gently but firmly, takes the ends of the obi from him. ]
Here. I'll do it.
[ Her voice is soft and she drops her gaze to keep it at the task at hand - this is probably embarrassing enough without her looking him in the face. She loops the tie around him again once, twice as she thinks that Rinne so rarely asks her to do things for him. Whenever he asks something of her, it's always for her benefit. Rinne's like her in a lot of ways, isn't he? Neither of them know how to ask for the things they need when they need them.
With the yukata neatly in place, she ties off the ends of the sash and at last, lifts her gaze back up to his face. This close up, she can really see how much softer his expression is than the ones she usually sees and all of a sudden, Ai really, really wants to kiss him. ]
There. ... when it's things like this, it's okay for us to figure it out together.
[Rinne freezes. It's so strange, having the girl of his dreams do things for him. Rinne's not the type to bend over and turn into her footstool if that's what she wanted, he's just used to taking care of his people and his family. It's what he's meant to do. He's always supposed to be thinking about that. Maybe that's why he likes being spoiled. Maybe that's why he likes spoiling people just like him.
Rinne never fails to tell her what she needs to hear. If that's the case, then this is Ai's way of giving it all back, isn't it? When Ai stands so close to him with her delicate hands and gentle voice, Rinne thinks he'd like to experience this all the time. He won't slack. He'll work hard if it means this will always be waiting for him at the end.]
Okay.
[Rinne meets her gaze and he balls his hands into fists. His lips are dry. His throat is dry, but he has to say this now before he loses his chance and loses control.]
Ai.
[Not Ai-chan, not Hoshigari-chan, not any other nickname he's ever placed between them to make her want to hate him for any reason at all.]
[ Ai blinks at him. It seems to take a second for his words to land but when they do... a laugh bubbles out of her and she covers her mouth like she can try and contain it. ]
You've been worrying about that this whole time?
[ She didn't think there was a person alive who still worried about things like that, much less a guy like Rinne. He's so brash and bold and ever since they met, he'd been reaching out to touch her and hold her, like that unbreechable barrier between her and everyone else hadn't existed at all. If Rinne had wanted to use this trip to close the rest of that distance, would she let him?
Even before she asks herself the question, she knows what the answer is: of course she would. She would say yes precisely because Rinne would never try.
Her gaze drifts down and away from his again. Her expression doesn't darken but it turns... sober, maybe. A little more open. ]
... You know, Rinne-kun... I'm not like you at all. I'm really bad at loving things. I always have been. But idols are supposed to love all their fans, right? Even idols who don't understand how to do it.
[ She adjusts the front of his yukata, just for something to do with her hands. Her heart is thudding in her throat so hard, it's a wonder that her voice comes out at all, let alone as soft and steady as it is. ]
I lie about it. All the time. I don't know how to say it and have it be true. And... I don't want to say it to you someday and leave you wondering if it's a lie.
[ Her fingers curl into the front of his yukata. She doesn't know what face Rinne is making but she manages to dare peek up and meet his eyes. ]
So even if it's just for this trip... or even just once... is it okay if I try and show you instead?
[Because he's thinking about him, her fans, and her kids. and he's thinking, how dare someone say that about her? How dare they decide how she should love someone? It's bad enough that she's not allowed to love anyone at all. Why can't she believe she's already doing that? She thinks about what could heal him and protects him from what could hurt him. What is that if it isn't what she doesn't want to say?
Tears stream down his face before he can stop them.]
I'm bad at it too, you know? I lied to you, too. I knew the way I acted made it feel like this wasn't real. That's why I said it. Shit like that can only fly when everyone knows it's a lie. Idols only lie 'cause they wanna make people happy...
But you believed me.
I tried to be the worst, and you still believed me.
[Ah, saying it like this makes it sound like he never loved her, doesn't it? Maybe to Ai, it felt like a lie. But Rinne meant every word. He loves her. He wants her to shine. He just didn't think he'd ever want her for himself.
... No, maybe he did. He remembers what Ai asked him that day on that balcony against the setting sun. He told her it was okay to be selfish. It was okay to be an idol like that. It made her so happy, the smile she wore that day made him want to be selfish, too. He wanted the freedom to do that, too.]
So you can be scared of saying it all you want, but you said it yourself, didn't you? It's obvious that you love me.
[But... it's true that he still wants to hear it. It's true that he wants proof. But is it okay for him to ask for something like that? Is it okay for him to want it all the time? His cheeks are still wet with his tears when he closes his eyes, leans in, and presses his forehead against her own.]
You can do whatever you want with me. As much as you want, as many times you want. I don't deserve it, but... For all the times you tried to love me, I don't want you to ever think I didn't feel it.
[ Ai of B-Komachi is pretty, perfect and invincible. She loves everyone with all her heart, without fear or restraint, she gives and gives and gives and doesn't ever think to ask for anything back. What does an invincible girl even want for, anyway?
Hoshino Ai is unforgivably dirty and hopelessly impure - in fact, just call her hopeless full stop. She has to lie to give people what they want because the real thing could never be good enough. It never will be. Maybe that's why she doesn't know how to do any of it for real.
Her heart is thudding so hard and so loud she can barely hear anything else. She feels warm. She feels a little dizzy. She feels more hopeless and helpless and inexcusably clumsy than she ever has before but for the first time... she thinks that might be okay.
She thinks that if it's Rinne... then it really might be okay.
Her mouth makes a shape, but the words won't come out. Even now, she's a coward. Even now, she's too scared to say it and find out that she could never say it for real. She doesn't know if the feeling churning her insides really is love, but whatever it is, she wants Rinne to know she feels it.
She rises up onto her toes so she can press a kiss to his forehead. Then her lips move to the corner of his eye and she presses another one there, like she could stem the flow of tears like that.
Then she pulls in a shaky breath. She sinks down onto the flat of her feet and now they're nose to nose. She's so close she can feel his breath on her mouth. ]
[So she doesn't care if his words used to be a lie? Rinne never cared if hers were. But right now, when he wants her love so selfishly, if she can't tell him how she feels, he thinks he'll go crazy.
First, she kisses his forehead. No one's done that since his youth, and his youth was cut short when Hiiro was born. It was a time when love never asked for anything else. He shouldn't, but he keeps coming back to that. Then Ai kisses the corner of his eye. Only two people have ever seen him cry, and he's already lost one. There's two again, and somehow that makes being stronger a little easier. Finally his gaze meets hers, and the air between them thins as they stand like this, her arms in his arms, closer than they have ever truly been.
When Ai takes Rinne's first kiss, he lets it happen. For once, he lets himself savor the feeling of someone who wants to have him, someone who is willing to take him into themselves and keep him there like he isn't something to be chewed and spat out. Ai's lips are gentle. Rinne thinks it's amazing how she can hear the embarrassing sound of his loud heart and still be here, kissing someone who's never been kissed, someone who knows what that means but is too scared to mean it. Not because he thinks he's incapable of it, no, but because when he isn't trying to fail, he loves much too deeply—so deeply that it could only be wrong. That's how everyone's ever seen him: wrong.
For a second, he thinks Ai is also wrong.
When Rinne breaks the kiss, he whispers as he insists,] I told you, we shouldn't...
[But he closes his eyes again and kisses her anyway.]
[ Of course they shouldn't. They shouldn't even be here to begin with — before and above everything else, she and Rinne are idols. Even if they're the selfish kind, the lying kind, there's only some much lying that fans can forgive. Nothing is worse than an idol who cheats on the fans that love her, after all. She's already done that once. There's no way she'd ever get away with a second betrayal.
It doesn't feel like a betrayal when Rinne kisses her, though. Far from it — it feels like everything else has been wrong all along. But this right here is the first time that it's ever been right.
Her arms curl around him. Tight. She's never let herself hold him or return any of the boundless affection he's tossed her way but now she can't help herself. ]
I really want to try. [ She barely breaks away to say that, breathing the words in between another kiss. ] I don't know how to say it for real but when it's you, I want to try.
[ She wants to do more than try. It's like some kind of dam has finally cracked and all her feelings have come spilling out. She wants to touch him. She wants Rinne to touch her. She wants him to hold her so tight that she feels his hands on her for hours after he lets her go.
It takes more of her self control than she'd like to admit for her to pull back from him again. Just enough space to breathe and to look up at him and take in the sweet, soft expression on his face. ]
So let's take a bath together and then... will you let me try?
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[ She looks up at him, blinking. She's still smiling and it's too gentle and bright for it to be put on but... while it's not exactly clueless, it's clear that whatever's bugging Rinne is very evidently not bugging Ai in turn... if it's even on her mind at all. Maybe she really is just a little too calm. ]
Well of course I do. You think I dodged around the Prez and Miyako-san and still didn't have any clue?
[ Her smile turns into a grin, just sharp edged enough to be playful. ]
We're here to have fun! Right?
1/2
[He can't deny that!!!
And just like that, he loses his chance. They arrive at the entrance, and the question shuttles back to where it came from. He's still nervous! But now is not the time to worry about tonight. They have a whole day ahead of them.
At the lobby, Rinne does not hide his awe the entire time they're there. His mouth is agape in childlike wonder as he takes everything in, from the huge decorative plate in the foyer to the bronze statues of bodhisattvas near the front. He keeps sneaking a peek at the souvenir shop, wanting to look at their wares. He knows that can wait, though. They have to check in first. He'll do that.]
So this is a ryokan, huh... I thought it'd be bigger.
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[pats her head ☆]
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Mistake or not, she was asked to a job and that's what she's here for — so of course she's snapping pictures of everything on her phone as she goes. She's so caught up in her quest that she doesn't let up on the snaps until Rinne's hand touches her head.
... Hm. More evidence that Rinne's hands are both bigger than previously thought and that she kind of likes it?? But still, she puts on a show of huffing, if only to play into the joke. ]
If it's the perfect size for me, it'll be too small for you, won't it? [ She puts on a perfectly puppy-dog-eyed expression of concern and not at all of mockery. ] What a shame... you might have to sleep on the side of the river outside... I promise to wave hello to you every morning, though!
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[His use of the word is deliberate. He hopes she doesn't hate it. He made sure to say it quietly, but so long as he was friends with the owner here, no here would go to the press about two idols at a romantic ryokan in the fall. After all, it's a normal thing for ordinary people to do. Rinne wants to think the days will pass by smoothly, too. It's his first time sharing a room with a woman. Japan's rising star, no less! He really doesn't want to fuck this up.]
Well, you can tour around and take more pics without me. Repping the place is your job now. I'll bring our bags to our room.
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... it is strange. But not in an unpleasant way. In fact... Oh. She'd really liked hearing it. She kind of wants to hear him say it again.
When Ai looks up at him from her phone, two pinpricks of colour bloom high in her cheeks. Look at that, her blush has finally made it onto her face. ]
Ah— no, wait, no way! [ Before he can make a move to leave without her, Ai steps in close and presumptuously links her arm through his. No escape! ] If we're looking around, I want us to go together!
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[ Oh.
Ai is so cute when she blushes.
No, Rinne, focus. He's actually not sure what to say to that. Nothing like this has ever really happened before — being wanted by someone and being someone's special someone. If Ai wants to do these things together, who is he to say no? Of course he'll indulge her. ]
But we really oughta bring our bags to our room first. You can trust the folks around here — if I don't say that, they'll kill me — but it's better to get this out of the way before anything else.
[ Like eat and take pictures and, well, he's trying not to think of the obvious.
... This is bad. It really might be better for Ai to go ahead. Rinne will need a distraction.
Oh, he knows.
It goes completely against his personal code of conduct, though. ]
Mm.
[ Rinne tilts his head, leans in, and quickly presses his lips against her cheek. It can hardly count as a kiss. It can hardly be called a kiss. The touch was so light and the moment was so short that even the tiny hairs on her skin might have hardly felt it.
But the warmth was certainly there. ]
Catch up with you later.
[ As Rinne makes his way across the lounge, red up to his ears, he takes their luggage with him. ]
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Grinning after him like that, Ai gives him a little wave as he goes. His ears are all red. Rinne's so cute. ]
Heehee. Alright then, we'll catch up later! I'll take a bunch of photos and you can help me pick out the best ones!
[ And... the quicker she gets this part over with, the quicker she and Rinne can just relax. Right?
Right. What's there to worry about? ]
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Rinne's going to kill him.
After doing a brief search around the room for hidden cameras, Rinne finally plops himself onto one of the chairs with a relieved sigh. This was supposed to be a vacation, but whatever. If Ai can enjoy it to the fullest, then that's all that matters...]
Ah?
[As his eyes glance around the room, the baskets on the side of the wall catch his eye. That's right, that's what they're here for. Every traditional ryokan's got to have an onsen. This one has private open-air baths, too. N-not that he's excited to bathe with Ai or anything! But she'll have to do that to give the ryokan a solid review, right? The baths are vacant now, and they will be vacant for a while.
...
Rinne should prepare everything before Ai gets here. And then they can enjoy the bath together.]
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the view's rly nice
u done??
rinne-kun's lonely... 😔
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She doesn't seek out any of the baths - even if they're vacant, she'd like to enjoy the surprise of seeing them for the first time with Rinne — but she scopes out the souvenir shop, takes a few selfies in some pretty spots and snaps a few choice pictures. She can take more at dinner but for now, this should be enough. ]
Almost done!
I asked if it was OK for me to see one of the smaller rooms and they showed me a single person one
So I took a selfie in it like it was mine LOL
And!! I grabbed some snacks for later from the gift shop.
I'll just call the Prez to let him know I got here fine then come see you!
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and yay❤ ok❤
don't take too long or i'm gonna zzz
[ What can he do in the meantime? He has everything ready for them, Ai just has to grab the stuff and go. Hmm...
Well, they do need to clean up before getting in the open-air bath, and while there's already a shower near the bath, he doesn't want Ai to wait on him or be self-conscious. Yes, that's it. That's why he's going to shower now. It's not because he's feeling hot. It's not because he's feeling nervous. It's all for Ai's sake!!! ]
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Ooh...!
[ She'd seen one of the other rooms so she sort of has an idea of what to expect but... this is a little different. Maybe it's just because it's their room but it's so cute and cozy - it's all traditional so it feels fancier than it probably is to someone who's not a city mouse but she doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. And Rinne was right — the view is incredible.
No Rinne, though. It takes a second for her to pick up on the sounds of the shower running and she realizes where he must be. So she calls through, just loud enough to be heard over the water. ]
Rinne-kun, I'm here! I'll go ahead and get changed while you're in there!
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He was done a while ago anyway, so he quickly shuts the shower off and dries himself off. The loud whirring of the hair dryer here distracts him from whatever sounds he might hear there. With the way he is now, even the slightest rustle of fabric might shake him up — if he can manage to hear it over the heartbeat in his ears. Fuck, where are his clothes? He probably forgot them in the bedroom. Oh well, he'll just grab a towel on his way out and wear some pants when he gets there—
Oh.
Rinne had gotten so used to living with other guys that he'd almost forgotten the most rudimentary of manners.
Knocking, for example.
Being decent in the presence of strangers, for example. ]
Um...
[ Maybe if he switches gears fast enough, he can at least pretend he's sleazy enough to not be awkward about it... ]
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She ties up her hair no problem, but as it turns out, she'd forgotten to account for putting herself in a yukata for the first time. She's worn them before for shoots but she's always been dressed by someone else, so tying off the sash while holding it closed is a bit of a process. It's a little big on her, too, and it sags on her shoulder just enough to expose the slope of her neck and collarbone. And she's in the middle of trying to adjust that when Rinne walks in.
Ai freezes. Her head snaps around. She has a smile pasted onto her face to preemptively make a joke out of the whole thing but then it slowly slides off her face as she just... looks at him. Oh. she manages to think. Rinne really does look—
She manages, barely, to snap herself back to to reality and hastily pulls the sagging yukata up over her shoulder. Is it ruder to stare or to pretend she wasn't staring? Not that she can even try and pretend that she's not right now... ]
Ahah, sorry...! I thought I'd be done by now. [ She's... still looking. ] Um, if you want to get changed I can...
[ She can what? Give him some privacy? It's a little late for that, isn't it???? ]
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[Would that be better or worse? He's asking because he has no idea. He's never been in this situation before. Forgive him for gawking at the smooth column of Ai's neck and the scandal of her collarbones. Where he's from, no one's supposed to see that but family. He plans on making her more than family, so maybe that's not a problem, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's attracted to her. He's joked about it, teased her for it, but the reality is they were thinly-veiled truths. He would be lying if he said she didn't make him feel crazy. What would have happened if she kept fixing her yukata? Would she have failed? Would he have gotten to see more?
He should calm down. He should wear his yukata. He turns around, pulls off his towel, and gives the powers that be a glimpse of his ass before slipping the sleeves on.
...
Hmm. His servants back home usually fixed these things for him.
And he's still thinking about Ai's shoulders.]
... Ai-chan.
[Help.]
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... Well, if Rinne's looking, it should be fine for her to do the same, right? If he didn't want her to see, he'd be be getting changed elsewhere, right? ]
Ah- oh, the sash is a little tricky to do by yourself, huh? Um, just a second...
[ That's what she says, but as she stands up, she finally manages to tug her yukata into place so it all sits neatly on her body before tying the sash off. Apparently, all she needed to kick her brain into gear was to inflict a moment of blind panic on it.
Now that she's decent, she stands and crosses the room... then pauses as she's stood just behind him. This is kind of a delicate situation, isn't it? She's been sort of blithe and clueless this whole time but... she wonders what Rinne's expecting of her. Or maybe what Rinne's thinking she expects from him. ]
... Do you want me to help?
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He's not nervous because she's pretty.
He's definitely not worried about how they're supposed to conduct themselves.]
N-nevermind. [God, he stuttered. Stupid.] I can do it.
[He speaks in an uncharacteristic near-whisper, turning away and keeping his distance as he fiddles with the obi. He... is honestly, absolutely clueless. He's been overlapping the two ends the same two ways for about a minute now. He'd ask for help like he often demands Niki to, but Niki likes being needed, and he can't just say, "Sorry, I don't know how to dress myself because I used to leave this sort of thing to my attendants. By the way, I'm technically a prince. I'm literally incapable of living alone." It's too much for him to reveal and far too much for Ai to unpack. It's better to just suck it up and put on his damn yukata.]
You can go ahead. Rinne-kun's just gotta figure this out.
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No wonder he doesn't know what to do.
Ai steps around him so they're face to face and before he can protest, she reaches and, gently but firmly, takes the ends of the obi from him. ]
Here. I'll do it.
[ Her voice is soft and she drops her gaze to keep it at the task at hand - this is probably embarrassing enough without her looking him in the face. She loops the tie around him again once, twice as she thinks that Rinne so rarely asks her to do things for him. Whenever he asks something of her, it's always for her benefit. Rinne's like her in a lot of ways, isn't he? Neither of them know how to ask for the things they need when they need them.
With the yukata neatly in place, she ties off the ends of the sash and at last, lifts her gaze back up to his face. This close up, she can really see how much softer his expression is than the ones she usually sees and all of a sudden, Ai really, really wants to kiss him. ]
There. ... when it's things like this, it's okay for us to figure it out together.
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Rinne never fails to tell her what she needs to hear. If that's the case, then this is Ai's way of giving it all back, isn't it? When Ai stands so close to him with her delicate hands and gentle voice, Rinne thinks he'd like to experience this all the time. He won't slack. He'll work hard if it means this will always be waiting for him at the end.]
Okay.
[Rinne meets her gaze and he balls his hands into fists. His lips are dry. His throat is dry, but he has to say this now before he loses his chance and loses control.]
Ai.
[Not Ai-chan, not Hoshigari-chan, not any other nickname he's ever placed between them to make her want to hate him for any reason at all.]
I think we shouldn't kiss until we get married.
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You've been worrying about that this whole time?
[ She didn't think there was a person alive who still worried about things like that, much less a guy like Rinne. He's so brash and bold and ever since they met, he'd been reaching out to touch her and hold her, like that unbreechable barrier between her and everyone else hadn't existed at all. If Rinne had wanted to use this trip to close the rest of that distance, would she let him?
Even before she asks herself the question, she knows what the answer is: of course she would. She would say yes precisely because Rinne would never try.
Her gaze drifts down and away from his again. Her expression doesn't darken but it turns... sober, maybe. A little more open. ]
... You know, Rinne-kun... I'm not like you at all. I'm really bad at loving things. I always have been. But idols are supposed to love all their fans, right? Even idols who don't understand how to do it.
[ She adjusts the front of his yukata, just for something to do with her hands. Her heart is thudding in her throat so hard, it's a wonder that her voice comes out at all, let alone as soft and steady as it is. ]
I lie about it. All the time. I don't know how to say it and have it be true. And... I don't want to say it to you someday and leave you wondering if it's a lie.
[ Her fingers curl into the front of his yukata. She doesn't know what face Rinne is making but she manages to dare peek up and meet his eyes. ]
So even if it's just for this trip... or even just once... is it okay if I try and show you instead?
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Who told you you were bad at loving things...?
[Because he's thinking about him, her fans, and her kids. and he's thinking, how dare someone say that about her? How dare they decide how she should love someone? It's bad enough that she's not allowed to love anyone at all. Why can't she believe she's already doing that? She thinks about what could heal him and protects him from what could hurt him. What is that if it isn't what she doesn't want to say?
Tears stream down his face before he can stop them.]
I'm bad at it too, you know? I lied to you, too. I knew the way I acted made it feel like this wasn't real. That's why I said it. Shit like that can only fly when everyone knows it's a lie. Idols only lie 'cause they wanna make people happy...
But you believed me.
I tried to be the worst, and you still believed me.
[Ah, saying it like this makes it sound like he never loved her, doesn't it? Maybe to Ai, it felt like a lie. But Rinne meant every word. He loves her. He wants her to shine. He just didn't think he'd ever want her for himself.
... No, maybe he did. He remembers what Ai asked him that day on that balcony against the setting sun. He told her it was okay to be selfish. It was okay to be an idol like that. It made her so happy, the smile she wore that day made him want to be selfish, too. He wanted the freedom to do that, too.]
So you can be scared of saying it all you want, but you said it yourself, didn't you? It's obvious that you love me.
[But... it's true that he still wants to hear it. It's true that he wants proof. But is it okay for him to ask for something like that? Is it okay for him to want it all the time? His cheeks are still wet with his tears when he closes his eyes, leans in, and presses his forehead against her own.]
You can do whatever you want with me. As much as you want, as many times you want. I don't deserve it, but... For all the times you tried to love me, I don't want you to ever think I didn't feel it.
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[ Ai of B-Komachi is pretty, perfect and invincible. She loves everyone with all her heart, without fear or restraint, she gives and gives and gives and doesn't ever think to ask for anything back. What does an invincible girl even want for, anyway?
Hoshino Ai is unforgivably dirty and hopelessly impure - in fact, just call her hopeless full stop. She has to lie to give people what they want because the real thing could never be good enough. It never will be. Maybe that's why she doesn't know how to do any of it for real.
Her heart is thudding so hard and so loud she can barely hear anything else. She feels warm. She feels a little dizzy. She feels more hopeless and helpless and inexcusably clumsy than she ever has before but for the first time... she thinks that might be okay.
She thinks that if it's Rinne... then it really might be okay.
Her mouth makes a shape, but the words won't come out. Even now, she's a coward. Even now, she's too scared to say it and find out that she could never say it for real. She doesn't know if the feeling churning her insides really is love, but whatever it is, she wants Rinne to know she feels it.
She rises up onto her toes so she can press a kiss to his forehead. Then her lips move to the corner of his eye and she presses another one there, like she could stem the flow of tears like that.
Then she pulls in a shaky breath. She sinks down onto the flat of her feet and now they're nose to nose. She's so close she can feel his breath on her mouth. ]
I'm really glad you're here.
[ And then she kisses him. Properly, at last. ]
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First, she kisses his forehead. No one's done that since his youth, and his youth was cut short when Hiiro was born. It was a time when love never asked for anything else. He shouldn't, but he keeps coming back to that. Then Ai kisses the corner of his eye. Only two people have ever seen him cry, and he's already lost one. There's two again, and somehow that makes being stronger a little easier. Finally his gaze meets hers, and the air between them thins as they stand like this, her arms in his arms, closer than they have ever truly been.
When Ai takes Rinne's first kiss, he lets it happen. For once, he lets himself savor the feeling of someone who wants to have him, someone who is willing to take him into themselves and keep him there like he isn't something to be chewed and spat out. Ai's lips are gentle. Rinne thinks it's amazing how she can hear the embarrassing sound of his loud heart and still be here, kissing someone who's never been kissed, someone who knows what that means but is too scared to mean it. Not because he thinks he's incapable of it, no, but because when he isn't trying to fail, he loves much too deeply—so deeply that it could only be wrong. That's how everyone's ever seen him: wrong.
For a second, he thinks Ai is also wrong.
When Rinne breaks the kiss, he whispers as he insists,] I told you, we shouldn't...
[But he closes his eyes again and kisses her anyway.]
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It doesn't feel like a betrayal when Rinne kisses her, though. Far from it — it feels like everything else has been wrong all along. But this right here is the first time that it's ever been right.
Her arms curl around him. Tight. She's never let herself hold him or return any of the boundless affection he's tossed her way but now she can't help herself. ]
I really want to try. [ She barely breaks away to say that, breathing the words in between another kiss. ] I don't know how to say it for real but when it's you, I want to try.
[ She wants to do more than try. It's like some kind of dam has finally cracked and all her feelings have come spilling out. She wants to touch him. She wants Rinne to touch her. She wants him to hold her so tight that she feels his hands on her for hours after he lets her go.
It takes more of her self control than she'd like to admit for her to pull back from him again. Just enough space to breathe and to look up at him and take in the sweet, soft expression on his face. ]
So let's take a bath together and then... will you let me try?
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